audio review : Move ( song ) … Beyoncé ( featuring Grace Jones + Tems )

This song doesn’t really vibe until the chords drop halfway in. That’s when it goes from just a bassy party anthem; the scene is the ballroom of a five-star hotel; to something special. It’s an example of how effective the addition of one music instrument can be, but it should’ve sounded that way from the start.

The queen is faultless though as she struts a path thru the crowd. The title is literally her telling them to get out of the way, though it also serves as a command to dance. She’s headed to the VIP section, but not before grabbing a glass of Champagne and sharing a kiss with some guy who doesn’t look like Jay-Z.

my rating : 4 of 5

2022

audio review : Renaissance ( album ) ... Beyoncé

audio review : Renaissance ( album ) … Beyoncé

audio review : Renaissance ( album ) ... Beyoncé

This would be Beyoncé’s Confessions On A Dance Floor; speaking of overrated music goddesses; if not for the two songs in the middle. Plastic Off The Sofa won’t necessarily put you to sleep; its 1970s-inspired soul semblance is quite likable; but it breaks the flow of what was, up to that point, a dynamic dance album. Virgo’s Groove gets back on track conceptually, but it belongs in a different club than the rest of the set.

Those two songs should’ve been omitted for the sake of sonic cohesion. Their inclusion is the album’s biggest blemish. Beyoncé leaves a lot to be desired in the way of vocal melody when she actually sings; she seems to prefer annoying us with ghetto rap chants; but it’s hard to go wrong over these beats. “Dance all night,” the queen commands before comparing her pussy juice to Honey, and the music encourages you to do just that.

Standout songs include Move, though it doesn’t vibe until the chords drop halfway in, and Alien Superstar, though its catchy Princesque chorus is abandoned at the two-thirds mark. Cuff It is another highlight, but perhaps it should’ve been saved for the Sofa/Virgo EP and the way it blends into the Energy bit makes for an awkward track cut. The point is that, while the album stands as one of Beyoncé’s best, it has its flaws.

my rating : 3 of 5

2022

video review : Bitch I’m Madonna ( song ) … Madonna ( featuring Nicki Minaj )

video review : Bitch I'm Madonna ( song ) ... Madonna ( featuring Nicki Minaj )

There’s a party going on and I wasn’t invited. The scene; people having crazy fun at what looks like a lavish rooftop hotel suite in or near Los Angeles; is awesome. I especially dig the part where host Madonna prances her way up a red-lit graffiti-laced staircase and tongue-kisses a random girl. It’s nice to see she’s still being a slut in her 50s.

What the video would do better without are the cringey cameos from celebrities who obviously aren’t at the party. Having Beyoncé in your video, lip-syncing to your song, makes for ultimate bragging rights, even for a VIP like Madonna, but it also makes for an awkward edit. The one exception is Nicki Minaj, who at least raps on the song.

my rating : 4 of 5

2015