Java Monster : Cold Brew [ Latte ]

Java Monster : Cold Brew [ Latte ]

This energy drink tastes like what it basically is; “nitro-infused Cold Brewed coffee” (espresso) with a lot of milk in it. It’s remarkably creamy, though there’s no cream listed on the ingredients list. It’s also “subtly sweet” as the can describes but not enough to make it good.

my rating : 3 of 5

3D Energy Drink : Galaxy Lime

3D Energy Drink : Galaxy Lime

“Galaxy Lime is infinitely delicious,” the promo claims, but that’s hyperbolic nonsense. It isn’t even good. The flavor, in which “Bright lime and deep blackberry collide”, is among the worst 3D Energy Drinks. It tastes like a fruit and vegetable concoction from somebody’s juicer and smells, oddly enough, like spoiled milk.

my rating : 2 of 5

Black Rifle Espresso 300 [ Triple Shot ] : Vanilla Bomb

Black Rifle Espresso 300 [ Triple Shot ] : Vanilla Bomb

This Bomb dissipates on impact to the point where you can’t even taste the Vanilla. It tastes more like chocolate, oddly enough, due to its main ingredient; “Arabica brewed coffee”. The 300 bit has to do with the fact that it packs said milligrams of caffeine, which the can promotes as “freedom fuel”.

my rating : 3 of 5

Icee Cereal

Icee Cereal

“Feel the freeze,” the catchphrase exclaims. This Cereal “cools your mouth as you eat”. It’s a gimmick that fits the concept; it’s based on those Icee slushies kids drink in the summer; but ultimately ruins the taste. That chalky antacid-like bit, which, ironically enough, starts to become nauseating, lingers long after you’re done eating.

my rating : 2 of 5

Raze Energy : Rainbow

Raze Energy : Rainbow

I don’t think the Rainbow here represents LGBT. At least I hope not. The illustrations on the can suggests it stands for a Rainbow “of flavor”; candy flavors; à la Skittles, though the taste is more akin to bubble gum. In any case there’s “zero sugar”; it’s sweetened with sucralose; and 300 milligrams of caffeine, “which is more than two cups of coffee.”

my rating : 3 of 5

C4 Performance Energy : Frozen Bombsicle

C4 Performance Energy : Frozen Bombsicle

The name suggests this should be served chilled from the freezer on a hot summer day, which is how I prefer my Energy drinks, but that would be hard to do on a court or field. C4 is subtly promoted as a sports beverage for “superhuman Performance”, though that could also apply to sex. The taste is par for the course; sweet and Pez-like with a slight sting.

my rating : 3 of 5

Big Game Energy : Cotton Candy

Big Game Energy : Cotton Candy

The flavor of this Energy drink; a product of Bucked Up; is more akin to Lucky Charms marshmallows than Cotton Candy. That’s a good thing as it makes for quite a delight for the taste buds. The scent brings to mind fresh-baked birthday cake; another sweet kids treat that has little to do with hunting Game.

my rating : 4 of 5

Big Game Energy : Sour Gummy

Big Game Energy : Sour Gummy

This Energy drink really does taste like Sour Gummy candy. There even seems to be malic/tartaric acid crystals left over when you get to the bottom of the can. It’s much more sweet than sour though; there is “zero sugar”, but it does contain sucralose as a substitute; so the (applelike) flavor is better than the name suggests.

my rating : 3 of 5

Yerbaé : Pumpkin Spice

Yerbaé : Pumpkin Spice

“What does Pumpkin Spice energy feel like,” the can reads, “an energy so perfect it pumps you up for all three months of fall.” What does it taste like? Watery tea with a hint of carbonation. That makes this energy drink, though Yerbaé is among the healthiest of the harvest, mighty hard to “enjoy”.

my rating : 2 of 5