Category: reviews with a 3 of 5 rating

audio review : The Block Brochure [ Welcome To The Soil ] ( albums ) … E-40

If E-40 keeps this up, he’s on his way to becoming the most prolific rapper ever. He released the Revenue Retrievin set, about eighty songs on four albums, in 2010 and 2011. Now’s he’s up to three albums at once with this new Block Brochure. “Welcome To The Soil,” the cover page reads, but there’s a hint of sarcasm because; while there is plenty of pussy to fuck, Mary Jane to smoke and alcohol to drink; it seems there’s more bad than good happening in the slums of San Francisco’s Bay Area. “Just the other day,” he informs us, “a little baby got hit with a stray.”

E-40 isn’t just another careless thug. He’s a moral-minded rapper with a lot of street wisdom or “game” as he prefers to call it. That often comes out in his lyrics. He’s also sort of funny; at one point, he admits to once wanting to be a professional comedian; so the best parts of these albums are his verses, which manage to outshine most of his guests. A notable exception to that includes the long-awaited return of a Spice 1 collaboration. “You send some niggas at me,” The Eastbay Gangsta warns on The Other Day Ago, “I’ll eat them and scrap the plate up.”

While the verses are the strong point; along with the beats, which have gotten increasingly better since the depopularization of the Bay Area’s musically atrocious Hyphy Movement; the hooks are generally weak. Of course that’s the case with every E-40 album and most rap albums in general. What this three-volume set needs is to be condensed down to one; let’s say twelve of its best songs. That could, and probably would, make it E-40’s best album so far. As is, there are simply too many mill runs to sift thru in order to get to standouts like Pussy Loud.

The songs are only occasionally wack. One of the worst is In This Thang Breh, featuring Turf Talk and Mistah FAB. And that’s not because the hook sounds like they’re saying, “We into stank breath,” which would be at least funny. It’s because the beat, led by an annoying siren loop panned to the left, is a throw-away. The Jealous beat, on the other hand, which could almost pass for a Dr Dre production, is a definite keeper. “I’m in a class by myself,” he boasts. And that might not be too far from the truth. But you wouldn’t know by listening to these three albums.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : MDNA ( album ) … Madonna

audio review : MDNA ( album ) ... Madonna

“MDNA” is a clumsy abbreviation, but Madonna already made a self-titled album and I don’t think this one has any connection to that one, so as bad of an idea as it was in 1983 when self-titled debuts were commonplace, it’s even worse now. Surely after Hard Candy; a title both sweet and fitting; she could’ve come-up with something better.

The good thing is that, with the exception of two features from pop music’s most annoying rapper; Nicki Minaj; the album’s title is the worst part. The songs are typical Madonna, which isn’t bad. I didn’t say it was good; her teenage melodies are rarely catchy and her lyrics are consistently trite; but it’s not bad, mainly because of the beats.

The “Queen” of pop has a thing for electronic dance music. That’s what I like about her. She surrounds herself with producers like William Orbit and the Benassi Bros. They provide her with music that pops and flares with thumpy drums, pulsating bass and snazzy synths. So it’s not hard to block out lead vocals if necessary and just groove to the music.

The album’s most riveting moment comes at the end of Gang Bang, which isn’t about what you might think. Madonna has kids now. She’s not nearly as erotic as she used to be; at least not in public; but she can still shock. “Now if you’re gonna act like a bitch,” she says, while holding a gun to her lover’s head, “then you’re gonna die like a bitch.”

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : Someday At Christmas ( album ) … Stevie Wonder

audio review : Someday At Christmas ( album ) ... Stevie Wonder

The title song sounds like a new classic. It’s a Christmas anthem that’s better than most you’re already familiar with. There’s also a notable original about a Little Christmas Tree; a story that personifies what is perhaps the holiday’s most defining symbol.

What I don’t like is how those original songs are presented alongside traditional covers. The assortment is about half-and-half, but they go back and forth almost at random. That makes for an album that’s musically pleasing but conceptually sloppy.

my rating : 3 of 5

1967

video review : The Lorax

video review : The Lorax

The world of Dr Suess comes with hidden messages. Sometimes they aren’t so hidden. Enter Thneedville; a city where most things are made of plastic and other man-made material because natural resources are being used-up by way of consumerism.

The message is environmental. “Save the trees,” it literally says. The plot, a consistently cute but only occasionally funny tale that centers around childhood romance, helps belabor the point. I just wish they’d ditched the corny musical performances.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : 2010 ( album ) … Prince

audio review : 2010 ( album ) ... Prince

I would start with how awful the title is, but it’s Prince; the guy who made a song called 1999 in 1982; so in the name of pop music history, he’s forgiven. Besides, 2010, stylized as “20Ten”; an album that should’ve been released much earlier than seven months into the year; is a virtual time portal to his 1980s heyday.

That might literally be the case as the quirky synths of songs like Beginning Endlessly and Lavaux sound almost too good to be new. It’s as if the self-proclaimed Purple Yoda went digging into his own vault to salvage some never-before-released tapes. The grooves on some of these songs are surprisingly stellar.

Sticky Like Glue is, despite Prince trying to rap, one of his best songs. It’s a romantic love dedication at heart, but its sleeky funk also makes it a fitting pick for the dance clubs. It’s the dull slow songs and zany fillers, like Everybody Loves Me, that hold the album back from being the full return to form it could’ve been.

my rating : 3 of 5

2010

audio review : Premro ( mixtape ) … Eightball

audio review : Premro ( mixtape ) ... Eightball

A quick glance at the title might suggest “Premo”; an album of Eightball tracks with beats by DJ Premier. Unfortunately for us hip-hop heads, that isn’t the case. We’ll have to settle for Drumma Boy; the executive music producer and “host” of this mixtape, which is actually titled after Eightball’s real first name.

While he’s never been a lyrical MVP, I’ve always liked his southern fat-boy voice, which sounds naturally chopped and screwed. I also like his laid-back flow. Neither disappoint here. The problem is his weak hook game. When he lets singers like Ebony Love do the job, the songs generally sound better.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

video review : Signs

video review : Signs

M Night Shyamalan uses the psyche of his audience against them. He uses what’s not on screen to pump fear into their minds, suggestive music, lighting and camera angles to build a sense of dread where there is nothing to fear. The monster in Signs, a movie that drags along at a slow methodical pace, doesn’t reveal itself till the end. Even then, it’s mostly hidden in shadowy TV-screen reflections.

The thing is, it isn’t scary. It’s somewhat suspenseful; the ending, in which the Hess family borders all the windows and doors of their Philadelphia home and hides in the basement, reminds me of the classic Night Of The Living Dead; but, despite a plot that has reptilian space aliens traveling to Earth from presumably light years away, it wastes too much of its time not really going anywhere.

my rating : 3 of 5

2002

audio review : Ithaca ( album ) … Paula Cole

audio review : Ithaca ( album ) ... Paula Cole

My biggest complaint about Paula Cole is the way she swayed from the artistic ferocity of This Fire, which remains my favorite album of hers. She returned to it briefly, for only about Fourteen seconds or so, on her previous album. She still can’t seem to keep the fire going with Ithaca, which borrows its metaphoric title from Homer’s Odyssey. It does, however, include one song I’d describe as a true return to form.

Elegy sparks slowly before going ablaze. It begins with an introspective narrative sang over a pleasant but uneventful piano melody, so the magic doesn’t begin until almost halfway in. When it does, it really is something to behold as Paula Cole; still playing the piano, over a symphony of tribal drums with rock guitars whining quietly in the background; wails and screams melodic ad-libs just like she used to.

I like how The Hard Way ends and the Sex song, in which she fingers her pink “lips” while thinking about her man, is epic, but the majority of the album, as soothing as it may be for a recently divorced Paula Cole, drowns in the waters of mediocrity before ever reaching the promised land. Hooks aren’t her strong point and that’s the problem. What are supposed to be the best parts are often the most lackluster.

my rating : 3 of 5

2010

audio review : Testify ( album ) … Phil Collins

audio review : Testify ( album ) ... Phil Collins

This release marks a step-by-step degression in the quality of Phil Collins albums. Dance Into The Light, while fun, isn’t on par with Both Sides. Testify; the title track of which suggests a romantic, not religious, undertone; is even lower on the scale.

You might not realize that by listening to the first song; Wake Up Call; with its boosty bassline and inspirational message. It’s one of two notable cuts on an album of mostly spiritless sleepers. It seems Phil Collins has simply lost his knack for melody.

my rating : 3 of 5

2002

audio review : All Of Me ( album ) … Estelle

audio review : All Of Me ( album ) ... Estelle

The title, All Of Me, sets listeners up for some major disappointment given the fact that this is the same Estelle who, in 2008, presented to the world one of the best pop songs of the year. If this album represents all of her, she doesn’t have a lot of good to offer. Nevermind the fact that none of these songs even come close to American Boy. The problem is that they aren’t all that (catchy) in their own rite.

She’s a girl who makes a big deal of not being like other girls; at one point, she mentions how getting married and having kids aren’t for her, despite what her dad had in mind; but the romantic topics she covers on most of these songs, two of which have the word “Love” in the title, are oh so typical. They’re listenable though. The chatty interludes, titled and listed as if they were more songs, are intellectually annoying.

The chorus on Speak Ya Mind sounds like Beyoncé’s Rather Be With You and Adina Howard’s Freak Like Me, but melodic similarities are bound to happen. What I don’t get is why Estelle feels the need to rap when her singing voice sounds much better. It’s not smooth enough to save the album, that would’ve been up to the melodies, but give it a breezy beat with a couple of Rick Ross verses and it makes for nice vibes.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : No Trespassing ( album ) … Too Short

No Trespassing ( album ) ... Too Short

I understand why Too Short felt the need to post the No Trespassing sign. His world, a pimp’s paradise populated with fine females, is a place of attraction for low-lives like myself. That’s why I’m constantly checking for new Short albums. This is album number… I lost count, but it sounds like I thought it would at this point in his post-retirement career; raunchy raps over funky beats.

Not all the beats are funky. Shut Up Nancy and Ba Boom Cha are easy throwaways. Short Dog, a rapper sometimes lost in the guest vocals of icons like Snoop and people you never heard of, also seems to be on lyrical auto-pilot these days. Still the album, which commits the lazy blunder of including songs from the previous two, is decent as far as this kind of ghetto sex life music goes.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : Late Nights And Early Mornings ( album ) … Marsha Ambrosius

audio review : Late Nights And Early Mornings ( album ) ... Marsha Ambrosius

Marsha Ambrosius is like most singers of the soul croon genre in that her days seem to revolve obsessively around “love”. It’s a buzzword that stands for the allure of a romantic relationship between two people. In this case, it’s Marsha and You. It can also serve as a euphemism for sex as this album makes clear from the start.

“I wanna ‘uh-uh-uh’ with you,” she says with those “uh”s representing the sighs of sexual pleasure. If her naughty intentions go over his head, she makes them clearer on the next song. “Let me do you all night long,” it goes, “I wanna do it all night long.” Marsha Ambrosius is horny. Perhaps all that talk of romance is just a facade.

Though a Remix of Michael Jackson’s Butterflies, a song she originally composed with Andre Harris, and a cover of Lauryn Hill’s Lose Myself are unnecessary additions that should’ve served as bonus tracks, most of these songs have silky smoothness going for them. It’s their vocal melodies that lack the magic to make it matter.

Highlight’s include Far Away, which is a seven-minute lament about the death of her “baby”, and The Break-Up Song, which most couples will come to relate to. “I’m out of here,” she says on the latter to the guy she started-off so passionately entangled with, “It’s over.” Hmm. Maybe the sex wasn’t all she cracked it up to be.

my rating : 3 of 5

2011