video review : The Twilight Zone : The Man In The Bottle

video review : The Twilight Zone : The Man In The Bottle

The Man is actually a genie able to grant wishes. The one caveat is that you only get four and can’t wish for more. That would be plenty to make my life everything I’d ever want it to be; he actually gives you time to think it over before making it “official”; but the plot of this story relies on the stupidity of its protagonist.

Enter Arthur Castle. When the genie is summoned to the struggling antique shop he runs with his wife, he’s at first skeptical and wastes his first wish on a trivial test. Once he realizes he’s for real, he wishes for money but isn’t thoughtful enough to make it limitless. His last two wishes are even more idiotic.

my rating : 3 of 5

1960

video review : Buried

video review : Buried

A lot of people say that being Buried alive is the thing they fear more than anything else. I can think of worse, but the lack of oxygen alone would make for a terrifying experience. An American truck driver named Paul Conroy finds himself in just this situation after being kidnapped by “terrorists” while doing contract work in Iraq.

The hook is that the entire movie, which is sometimes overdramatic but generally suspenseful, takes place in the coffin. That means we’re with Paul the whole time. His breathing is annoying, but there are interesting talk breaks as his abductors were thoughtful enough to leave him with a cellphone to call home and beg for ransom money with.

my rating : 3 of 5

2010

video review : Short Circuit

video review : Short Circuit

Number 5 is alive? No, but he thinks he is. He’s a military robot created at Nova Laboratories. It’s when he gets struck by a magical lightning bolt and inadvertently escapes to the home of a girl named Stephanie that the plots kicks into gear.

A potentially interesting concept is ruined by the movie’s chosen genre. Short Circuit would be better as serious science fiction. Instead it presents itself as mostly comedy; the star robot is constantly making jokes; except it’s mostly corny.

my rating : 2 of 5

1986

video review : Short Circuit 2

a dream I had about a girl interviewing me for school

She started out by asking me a question about “God”. She was reading off of a paper or the screen of her phone to put it in the exact words she’d prepared in advance, but she was reading it too fast and monotonously, which made her sound like a novice interviewer.

I guess she was. It seems she was doing the interview as part of a school; high school or college; assignment. There was no video that I was aware of, but she must’ve been recording audio of it as another girl about the same age as her watched us from a few feet away.

I interrupted to ask what God she was talking about. Her reply implied the Christian God. “So the God of Christianity,” I said. She confirmed, which was probably weird for her because she was apparently a Christian and Christians reject the possibility of other Gods.

She continued to read a verbose question that assumed the existence of God to which I replied by saying I don’t think there is; emphasis on the word “is”; a God. She didn’t reply back. She just went on to the next question, actually a set of questions, about war and morality.

I interrupted her again. “You’re asking me too many questions at once,” I might’ve worded my complaint; “I hate when people question-pile like that.” “Hate” would’ve been too strong of a word in real life and I doubt I would’ve used a gay term like “question-pile”, but it worked.

She summarized her questions down to one that got to the point. I don’t remember her exact words, but she was asking what I thought about innocent civilians dying in wars. “I don’t care,” I said as the two girls stared at me with blank expressions; “I mean it doesn’t matter.”

I said that, though I generally thought it was wrong, it didn’t matter in any objective sense because morality is subjective. I started to ask if she knows the difference between “objective” and “subjective” before telling her I’m not going to put her on the spot and explaining it myself.

2021 [ September 05 ]

video review : Killing Season

video review : Killing Season

The best thing about Killing Season is the two legends that star in it. Robert De Niro and John Travolta, who play Bosnian War veterans, are alone (together) in the woods for most of it with nothing, besides a somewhat endearing scene involving an elk, to distract from their beaming star power. It’s a shame their rivalry couldn’t play out in a more fitting movie.

Though it gets better than the cliché battle flick the flashback prelude suggests it’s going to be, the plot is too contrived for its own good. There are solemn undertones dealing with death and life; the final scene hammers that latter message home; but the story, with all its unlikely happenstances, plays out more like a cartoon than something to be taken seriously.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013