Chobani Zero Sugar : Strawberry Cheesecake

Chobani Zero Sugar : Strawberry Cheesecake

Why even bother calling this Strawberry Cheesecake? It’s a bad idea as far as marketing and promotion goes because it tastes nothing like it and will inevitably irk those of us anticipating the flavor.

What does it taste like? Well, it’s hard to say; certainly not cheesecake or even strawberries. It’s mildly sweet though and pleasant enough to eat as a healthy alternative to sugar yogurt.

my rating : 3 of 5

a dream I had about saving the life of someone also named Marcel

I don’t know how he died or how his heart stopped; he’d presumably had some kind of heart attack; but there he; a guy I know also named Marcel; lay, soon to be dead if I didn’t take action. That last bit was a near certainty based on memories of seeing, on TV and such, hearing about and reading about people being resuscitated by paramedics and the like.

The key, I knew, was to act quickly. Michael Jackson; my favorite dead person; might’ve been saved if Conrad Murray had that mindset instead of trying to save his own ass. Not that I admired Marcel like I admire Michael Jackson. In fact I don’t even like Marcel; not really, though he can be fun to hang around on occasion; but I felt morally obligated to try to save him.

I could go into a psychological introspection on why that is; morals, I’m convinced, are completely subjective and I can be a heartless bastard; but try my best to save him I did. CPR was out of the question; I never learned it, hate the thought of having to press into someone’s chest and could never get past the disgust of putting my mouth on his; but I had another way.

For some reason I had with me what I can only describe as some kind of dreamworld defibrillator, which I actually remembered bringing him back to life with in the past. That time he’d come back quickly, but this time, as I repeated the process of basically shocking his chest to jumpstart his heart and brain, it seemed to no avail. Too much time was passing by.

Still I tried. There was no one else around and I would’ve felt damn guilty if I’d given up without a fight; I’m also convinced morals are inherently selfish; so I continued to shock him as he lay there otherwise motionless. Thoughts raced thru my mind during the process, including whether or not that bastard would work as hard to save me. Probably not, I figured.

It didn’t matter though, especially when, after what seemed like minutes of shock treatment, he finally came back to life. I was ecstatic, audibly so, as “My boy!” opened his eyes and started to regain consciousness. There was an underlining concern in my mind that maybe he’d been gone too long and would never be the same, but at least he was alive.

2023 [ April 29 ]

audio review : Mental Trillness ( album ) … Juicy J

audio review : Mental Trillness ( album ) ... Juicy J

This project (album/mixtape) has to do with Mental health. If you couldn’t already tell by the title, the pedagogic prelude and interludes suggest as much. The theme is a solemn departure for Juicy J, but musically it’s basically business as usual. “I stay strapped like a baby seat,” the Memphis native declares on Pay Attention, over a trunk-rattling beat, because you “can’t trust niggas no more.”

Paranoia, schizophrenia; there are plenty of medical references to Stress the concept, but, though the No Rapper begins the set by suggesting there’s a personal underlining regarding the death of his mother, he never goes that deep. He’s more interested in doing drugs, making money and fucking “bitches”. Highlights include Deadbeat; a duet with Three 6 affiliate La Chat; and Gettin.

my rating : 3 of 5

2023

Organic Valley Stringles

Organic Valley Stringles

I like cheese on pizza and such, but I’ve never understood the allure of eating it by itself. These Organic Valley Stringles; glorified mozzarella sticks; are no exception. The ingredients list is impressively simple; skim milk, salt and enzyme; but the taste leaves a lot to be desired.

my rating : 2 of 5

Dr Pepper : Strawberries And Cream [ Zero Sugar ]

Dr Pepper : Strawberries And Cream [ Zero Sugar ]

The phrase Strawberries And Cream brings to mind hearty bowls of oatmeal with a little milk poured atop. This Dr Pepper version is sweeter; it’s aspartame that takes the place of Sugar; but the aforementioned flavor is barely detectable. Not that its taste, if you’re not too bothered by the sting of carbonation, isn’t mildly pleasant.

my rating : 3 of 5

Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars : Oats And Honey

Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars : Oats And Honey

I like the taste of these Granola Bars. Oats And Honey go well together. It’s the texture I have an issue with. They’re Crunchy as advertised, which is fine, but they’re also dry and messy. You’d be best off eating them outside, perhaps on a hiking trip where the ants will appreciate all the falling crumbs, with a bottle of water in hand.

my rating : 4 of 5