a dream I had about watching My Girl in class

It must’ve been a short class as we watched My Girl; the Macaulay Culkin movie; for what seemed like the third day. It was playing on a TV on one of those rolling stands at the front of the classroom and we were apt to pay attention because the teacher would give us daily quizzes on it.

The movie seemed to be on a montage scene when I arrived relatively early that day to find that, much to my delight, the seats; we had black chairs as opposed to traditional school desks; farthest to the back and closest to the window were empty, which meant I got to sit in the very last one.

I liked not being surrounded by people. Like most of the time in life, I just wanted to be left alone. Besides, while it was sort of embarrassing watching a kid romance movie with a bunch of people; it was a fairly large class; it was vital that I paid attention and got good grades on the quizzes.

2021 ( September 25 )

a dream I had about a girl interviewing me for school

She started out by asking me a question about “God”. She was reading off of a paper or the screen of her phone to put it in the exact words she’d prepared in advance, but she was reading it too fast and monotonously, which made her sound like a novice interviewer.

I guess she was. It seems she was doing the interview as part of a school; high school or college; assignment. There was no video that I was aware of, but she must’ve been recording audio of it as another girl about the same age as her watched us from a few feet away.

I interrupted to ask what God she was talking about. Her reply implied the Christian God. “So the God of Christianity,” I said. She confirmed, which was probably weird for her because she was apparently a Christian and Christians reject the possibility of other Gods.

She continued to read a verbose question that assumed the existence of God to which I replied by saying I don’t think there is; emphasis on the word “is”; a God. She didn’t reply back. She just went on to the next question, actually a set of questions, about war and morality.

I interrupted her again. “You’re asking me too many questions at once,” I might’ve worded my complaint; “I hate when people question-pile like that.” “Hate” would’ve been too strong of a word in real life and I doubt I would’ve used a gay term like “question-pile”, but it worked.

She summarized her questions down to one that got to the point. I don’t remember her exact words, but she was asking what I thought about innocent civilians dying in wars. “I don’t care,” I said as the two girls stared at me with blank expressions; “I mean it doesn’t matter.”

I said that, though I generally thought it was wrong, it didn’t matter in any objective sense because morality is subjective. I started to ask if she knows the difference between “objective” and “subjective” before telling her I’m not going to put her on the spot and explaining it myself.

2021 ( September 05 )

a dream I had about living in an apartment in Detroit

Perhaps that was me who looked like a cross between YZ, a rapper from the 1990s, and Doug E Doug; a young man striving to be the best school teacher in the world. I was already a teacher, in fact; if indeed it was me whose face I saw in this pleasantly cryptic dream; perhaps just a happy substitute at the beginning of his illustrious career.

I lived in a Detroit apartment that went from cluttered and congested to relatively spacious in what seemed like hours. I remember looking around at all the furniture and knick-knacks I’d collected over the years in a state of pride. “My home actually looks like a home,” I thought, maybe in those exact words, instead of a college dorm.

My suite, at least the early tiny of version of it, was on one of the mid-level to higher floors in a complex scarily and dangerously close to an airport. I could literally see the wings of the airplanes, taking off and landing, a few feet from my window. Never mind the noise they made. Knowing me, that was my trade-off for cheap rent.

The owner of the building used to be somewhat famous. He was either a former NFL player or a character from an old TV show. I can’t remember which, but I remember seeing him on TV, at present time in the dream, walking around a low-lit and seemingly vacant section of the apartment in some kind of local news segment.

Eventually the dream switched to the kitchen of the house I grew-up in. Frank was visiting. His mother had just put something white, or made something white we put, in the cabinet I don’t remember whether or not was there in real life before she died. We talked about the significance of it in regard to its sentimental value.

2021 ( September 04 )

audio review : Babylove ( song ) … Morris Day

This is a party anthem for sugar daddies. The club is packed with “sexy people”, but it’s the young ladies Morris Day is after, “as long as you’re 21”. What he means is 21 years old, no younger and not much older, and who could blame him? The best meat is fresh meat. There are no girls in jail though, so Jerome is posted at the door, checking state IDs and driver’s licenses.

Pedophilic undertones and all, the song is a banger. A louder beat (drums/bass), less cluttered production and more melodic ad-libs; the one at 3:08 is the best part of the song for me; could push it up to classic status, but it’s still the jam as is, mostly because of a set of hooks catchy enough to go fishing. “Calling on the sexy ones,” it goes, “Girls are sure nough fine.”

my rating : 4 of 5


audio review : Jam And Lewis [ Volume One ] ( album ) ... Jimmy Jam And Terry Lewis

video review : Knowing

video review : Knowing

This movie starts off interestingly enough and stays that way for a while, but soon the plot heads Hellward. There are some awesome disaster scenes scattered about, all of which happen to include people running around on fire or being smashed to death by man-made vehicles gone awry, but they don’t even begin to make-up for all the numerical nonsense happening elsewhere in this two-hour yawner.

Part of the problem isn’t that it tries to cover several sci-fi subgenres at once, but that it does so clumsily, going from paranormal thriller to disaster flick to religious allegory only when it’s convenient to the plot. Marco Beltrami’s over-the-top score isn’t appreciated until the end, during a muted scene in which the jovial orchestration doesn’t at all fit with what’s happening on screen but sounds terrific nonetheless.

my rating : 2 of 5


my dead schoolmates

The first schoolmate I heard about dying was Nikel in middle school. We met in either the sixth or seventh grade. We had a gym class together. In the showers, which, aside from going to The YMCA with my Big Brothers mentor, was my only time having to be naked around other guys, Nikel was the only kid whose chest I remember being flatter than mine. I was sort of insecure about being (too) skinny back then, at least when it came to people seeing me with no clothes on, but it was a relief knowing I wasn’t the only one.

We didn’t have a close relationship, but we were friends. He was cool and laidback but also a tough street dude. One day me and another boy were wrestling. Nikel thought he was really trying to fight me and I think grabbed him by the arm until I explained that we were just playing around. I respected Nikel for that though and would’ve gladly returned the favor if I ever saw him in similar trouble. He apparently died in June, just a few days after the seventh grade semester ended, at the age of 13 from a gunshot wound to the face.

Quentella got shot two years later. We’d just taken English 2 together. I remember Miss Philyaw announcing her death to the class when we came back for English 3. The rumor was that her boyfriend killed her. Carlos also died during those early high school years. For him it was a drive-by shooting. I was talking with John when a solemn Cordell walked up like “Carlos dead”. My last memory of Carlos is him ignoring me after I greeted him outside and my last memory of Quentella is her getting mad at me, whatever that’s worth.

I don’t think I knew Kenneth, but I knew Darrell; the guy who killed him. We were classmates a few years earlier. I remember him collapsing from a probably self-induced asthma attack after the teacher made him stand as a form of punishment for being insubordinate. I also remember chasing him one day outside after school until he couldn’t go any further because of his asthma. It was James, who also went to middle school with us, who told me about the shooting, which Darrell reportedly admitted to in criminal court.

A girl named Keena died a few months later. I don’t know if I knew her; I never got a chance to see a photo; but she was almost certainly the one whose death Miss Gilchrist, who seemed even more solemn than Cordell had, announced to the class. She said Keena, if it was her, had been run over by a car, but she apparently got the early rumor version of the story. She made it sound like just an innocent school accident, but, if we’re referring to the same girl, it apparently had more to do with Keena being targeted for rape.

The only other dead schoolmate I know of who didn’t die by gunshot is Jermaine from college. We never had a class together, but we did work together at a campus library. I was closer to him than the others. We’d hangout sometimes. He used to give me driving lessons. He reportedly died of pneumonia, but someone who should know, the same person who said she suspected he was gay; her suspicion was stronger than mine, though I do remember him going on about how ugly Jennifer Aniston is; told me he actually died of Aids.

Eugene was shot and killed just a few years ago, which goes back to middle school. He went there with me, James, Darrell, Quentella and Nikel. Eugene and Nikel might have even been close friends. James and I detested him though. Despite his shy quiet demeanor, he was a real troublemaker; a bully’s henchman type. James said he (Eugene) once tried to provoke some boys to “jump” him outside of school but was scared shitless when he (James) caught him alone a day or few later and was about to beat his ass because of it.

Those are all the dead schoolmates I can think of, each of whom I can say I knew except for Keena and Kenneth. Darrell is still alive, I assume, and still in prison for killing Kenneth, though, based on his sentence, he could be free soon or might already be. I don’t know what it means that most of these people died by gunshot, aside from living in a notoriously rough city, but it seems Nikel is the only one who wasn’t purposely shot. His killer said he was just “playing” when the gun went off. I don’t know if that boy got locked up or not.