Olivia Luccardi’s physical appearance

Olivia Luccardi's physical appearance Olivia Luccardi's physical appearance Olivia Luccardi's physical appearance Olivia Luccardi's physical appearance Olivia Luccardi's physical appearance Olivia Luccardi's physical appearance

Olivia Luccardi is one of those women who can be pretty one minute and ugly the next. It’s mostly to do with whether or not she’s showing her teeth, specifically that gap. Seeing it brings about a mild version of the repulsion you get when an otherwise normal person smiles to reveal they’re missing a tooth in the front.

To be clear, she is cute, if not pretty, most of the time. Look at those turquoise eyes. She looks like a doll. Her one big flaw is that goofy toothy grin. Not that it would stop me from kissing her, having sex with her or dating her. I’d just have to be sure not to make her laugh. It’ll have to be a serious relationship.

my rating : 4 of 5

2021

Libby’s Premium Mandarin Oranges

Libby's Premium Mandarin Oranges

The word Premium might go too far, but these Mandarin Oranges, which Libby’s official site suggests “add that extra kick to any fruit salad or leafy-green salad”; I prefer to eat them as they are; do taste good, especially cold out of the fridge. “They’re a far-out fruit straight out of the far east,” meaning China, in “light syrup”, meaning sugar water.

my rating : 4 of 5

Casablanca’s Greatest Catch [ Traditional Sardines In Vegetable Oil ]

Casablanca's Greatest Catch [ Traditional Sardines In Vegetable Oil ]

You might think it’s a bar of soap from the beige box packaging. It’s the illustration on the front that’ll clue you in that there’s something fishy going on. Corny jokes aside, these sardines may indeed swim, rather flop and squirm, among the Greatest Catch.

They’re “wild caught” from The Atlantic Ocean, off the coast of Morocco, and they actually taste good. I say “actually” because food this healthy usually doesn’t. The only ingredients listed are fish, sunflower oil; no Vegetable Oil, oddly enough; and salt.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : Will You Be There ( song ) … Michael Jackson

This song would be better without the intro; an orchestral piece that lasts for over a minute; especially considering a second one; what sounds like angels hymning; immediately follows. By the time Michael Jackson sings, his old Motown records Got To Be There and I’ll Be There would be reaching their ends.

This isn’t a romantic dedication to some girl though. As the angels suggest, it seems to be a religious calling of sorts. “Hold me like the river Jordan and I will then say to thee you are my friend,” Michael Jackson pleads, “Carry me like you are my brother, love me like a mother; Will You Be There?”

The church choir offers a similar melody to the verses, which suggests a lack of musical creativity, though it is a wondrous melody. The song, in fact, sounds like one that was destined to be made; perhaps a future standard generations of people will come to sing-along with and enjoy. It reminds me of Christmas.

The one major sin (flaw) other than the ostentatious prelude is Jackson seeming to not be able to hear what the choir is saying during the peak. “Lay your head lowly,” they sing to which he ad-libs about getting “lonely”. The coda, on which he recites a poignant poem over the music of Heaven, sounds divine.

my rating : 4 of 5

1991

video review : Cris Cyborg versus Leslie Smith at Bellator 259

video review : Cris Cyborg versus Leslie Smith at Bellator 259

Leslie Smith does better this time around; I’ll give her that; but still it’s not enough. As tough as she is, her opponent is simply too much. Cris Cyborg wins every round of this rematch in what seems destined to be an unanimous decision victory until Smith eventually goes down and out with just nine seconds left on the clock.

my rating : 4 of 5

2021

audio review : J Beez Comin Through ( song ) … Jungle Brothers

Ladies and gentlemen, how about a big round of applause for the ending of this song in which the beat strips down to just hip-hop drums and what sounds like a short piano riff. It’s the manic record-scratching laid atop that sells it; thousands of tickets worth, in fact.

The J Beez are Comin Through your city on tour. They’re going from venue to venue, performing concerts for fans around the world. If you think the girl; or is that a boy; at the end says their names in the wrong order, by the way, check the Forces Of Nature album cover.

my rating : 4 of 5

1989

audio review : Something To Feel ( song ) … Tinashe

Tinashe’s rap is cute; she should do it more often; but the concept of it sort of contradicts what came before it. She goes from feeling sad about being played “like a symphony” to bragging about the guy’s sexual attraction toward her. “This shit got him so whipped,” she says, in reference to her pussy, “slurping it up like a snow cone.”

It’s a strange juxtaposition. She even acknowledges that he’d “wife it if I let his ass, for sure”. I guess her point is that the sex is Something she also enjoys a lot; the way she exhales on the bridge makes my dick stand up to see what’s going on; and, though she refuses to be his other girlfriend, she’ll let him keep coming around in order to get it.

my rating : 4 of 5

2015

audio review : Heal The World ( song ) … Michael Jackson

This sounds like a cover of an old pop standard perhaps from the catalogue of The Carpenters. According to the credits, it’s composed entirely by Michael Jackson; its philanthropic theme is to the Dangerous album what Man In The Mirror was to Bad; with musical accompaniment from John Bahler and Marty Paich.

It’s a song mostly layered in schmaltz, but they’re beautiful oceans nonetheless. Jackson’s quivering vocal melodies sound superb. The only bruises (flaws) I can see (hear) have to do with certain words that should rhyme not rhyming (“brothers/plowshares”) and an adult starting monologue being spoken by what sounds like a kid.

my rating : 4 of 5

1991

video review : UFC 261

video review : UFC 261

Despite Jake Paul, this has got to be one of the best events in the history of The UFC. Every bout on the main card ends early either shockingly or spectacularly. The first two are TKOs in the loosest sense. Anthony Smith continues the trend of leg kick finishes after a doctor steps in to give an injured Jimmy Crute the MMA equivalent of a sobriety test, which he fails. Uriah Hall, in a surreality destined to be a viral sensation, breaks Chris Weidman’s leg the same way he (Weidman) broke Anderson Silva’s.

Jéssica Andrade’s loss to Valentina Shevchenko, a traditional TKO by strikes, serves as a bit of an intermission as its the one fight that ends as expected. Then, just when you think you can breathe again, Rose Namajunas shocks the world by knocking out Weili Zhang with a first-round head kick; the aftermath of which provides the most endearing moment of the night. “I’m the best,” Namajunas chants just before becoming champion and weeping with the belt around her waist. Joe Rogan apparently cries too.

The main event was unwarranted; Jorge Masvidal didn’t deserve another title shot and I figured he’d lose again, even with a full training camp; but Kamaru Usman delivers a surprisingly impressive finish by knocking him out with a punch to the jaw. If you hadn’t been putting respect on Usman’s name up to this point; the crowd boos not only him but also Weili Zhang on their way to The Octagon; it’s about time you start. The Nigerian fighter is on his way to becoming, much like this UFC event, one of the best ever.

my rating : 4 of 5

2021

audio review : Sex Packets ( album ) … Digital Underground

audio review : Sex Packets ( album ) ... Digital Underground

The Humpty Dance introduction, which references a song from the other (forthcoming) side of the tape; the full version of this album can only be heard on cassette; should come at the end. That would put The Way We Swing at the beginning where it belongs. The sloppy order of these songs stands, rather lies drugged-out on a cum-stained mattress, as the only major flaw on an album that’s otherwise rather amusing.

That’s thanks mostly to the innovative mind of Shock G, which is influenced not only by “biochemically compacted sexual affection”; the concept of this project pushes erotic “hallucinogens”; but George Clinton and other eccentric Funk artists from the 1970s. Some of these bits are genius. Sex Packets, like De La Soul’s 3 Feet High And Rising, is a prime example of a damn good, clever and creative Hip-Hop debut.

my rating : 4 of 5

1990

video review : Ghost

video review : Ghost

The Ghost is Sam Wheat, a New York City banker with a girlfriend named Molly he plans to marry. Those plans are ruined one night when he’s targeted by a mugger. That’s the point in which this movie goes from a boring romantic prelude to something interesting. Sam is shot during the attack but still chases the guy until he realizes he’s lying on the ground behind himself in Molly’s weeping arms.

The plot has to do with his efforts to save Molly; her boy-haired look suggests her next “ditto” will be in the arms of another woman; from a similar fate. Sam’s killing wasn’t random; a reveal that begins a crafty balance of drama, action and comedy. That latter genre, which makes for the best parts, comes almost solely at the hands of Whoopi Goldberg as a “spiritual” medium named Oda Mae Brown.

my rating : 4 of 5

1990

video review : UFC 260

video review : UFC 260

You know you’ve been hit hard when you have to wait till Bruce Buffer officially announces the results to find-out how long your fight lasted. That’s the situation Khama Worthy finds himself in after getting “caught” by Jamie Mullarkey in the very first round. UFC 260 would, in fact, be a night of finishes if not for Miranda Maverick; I’d love to see this woman fight Maycee Barber; earning a decision victory over Gillian Robertson.

Sean O’Malley is still undefeated (ha) with a relatively easy win over a much smaller Thomas Almeida. The knockout comes in the third, but he could’ve pulled it off in the first if not for his showboating antics. Tyron Woodley lets his hands go fast and early on Vicente Luque, damn-near knocking him out at one point, but Luque hits back. I really wanted Woodley to win here as a fourth consecutive loss probably ends his UFC career.

I didn’t really care who won the main event, but I would’ve bet on Francis Ngannou; the “scariest contender” in the organization. Stipe Miocic, who’s a bit overrated with all the heavyweight “goat” talk during the build-up to this bout, finds that last bit out the hard way. “Out cold”, Joe Rogan declares, though I’m not sure if he’s referring to Stipe’s loss of consciousness or how wrong Ngannou did him by punching him in the face like that.

my rating : 4 of 5

2021

video review : UFC 261