audio review : Secrets [ Of Success ] ( song ) … Cookie Crew

I don’t know why the title is plural; it’s used singularly in the song; but the Secrets to making a Successful pop record are all here. Impressive rap skills isn’t necessarily one of them, so when Susie Q comes in sounding more like Brother J from X Clan, it’s all good.

The key is the catchiness not only of the music, led by samples from Brenda Russell’s Little Bit Of Love, but the chorus, which doesn’t really kick in until the second go around. That’s when what sounds like Luther Vandross; actually producer Danny D; starts doing his thing.

my rating : 4 of 5

1991

audio review : Secrets [ Of Success ] ( song ) ... Cookie Crew

Two Good Greek Lowfat Yogurt : Strawberry

Two Good Greek Lowfat Yogurt : Strawberry

You might wonder why a yogurt company would limit itself indefinitely to Two G (Grams) of sugar per serving for the sake of wordplay until you realize it’s actually a subsidiary of Dannon. It does taste Good though, at least in the case of this Strawberry version, which is sweetened with “stevia leaf Reb M”.

my rating : 4 of 5

Dannon Light And Fit Yogurt [ Zero Sugar ] : Peach

Dannon Light And Fit Yogurt [ Zero Sugar ] : Peach

Not only does this yogurt have Zero Sugar, there’s also “no artificial sweeteners or flavors”. Such health boasts aren’t often promising in the way of taste, but it’s pretty good. It is indeed sweet, thanks to the addition of Reb M; a natural extract of the stevia leaf. It’s also surprisingly (“irresistibly”) creamy.

my rating : 4 of 5

Nature’s Bakery Fig Bar : Apple Cinnamon

Nature's Bakery Fig Bar : Apple Cinnamon

This Fig Bar; it comes in “twin packs”, so they’re more like fig bars; is among the best I’ve ever had. That’s not saying much because I don’t like the taste of fig, but I do like Apple Cinnamon. The best part though is the soft and crumbly cookie-like coating, which indeed makes for a “wholesome” eating experience.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : Clap Your Hands ( song ) … Lyrical Lively

This starts like a corny rap song from the mid-1980s, but give it a minute. Once the bass, chords and that glorious organ riff drop, you know you’re in for something special. It’s a gospel song and a (God)damn good one not so much because of but despite Lively’s lyrics.

The music carries the song; the production is splendid minus the tacky intro; with the minister’s raps more-or-less serving as filler until she finally starts singing near the end. “Clap Your Hands, leap for joy” the chorus goes, “Uh-huh.” That last bit is her catchphrase.

my rating : 4 of 5

2014

audio review : Clap Your Hands ( song ) ... Lyrical Lively

video review : Jackass Forever

video review : Jackass Forever

That the title of this fourth Jackass sequel doesn’t follow in the tradition of the others by utilizing its number in the word Forever is an odd waste of opportunity. It’s also my only major complaint. Bam Margera is relegated to a cameo and Ryan Dunn is dead, but they’re hardly missed. This newest Jackass is every bit as entertaining as the one before it.

It’s even more dangerous as Johnny Knoxville, now 50, gets knocked unconscious by a charging bull. It’s a brief moment of solemnity; he could’ve been paralyzed or killed; among all the wackiness. “Those guys are getting old,” Chris Pontius jokes elsewhere to a fun new cast member named Zach Holmes, “so we’re handing the torch to you.”

my rating : 4 of 5

2021

video review : Jackass 3D

video review : Jackass 3D

The boys are back, right on schedule, with another Jackass movie. Actually they’re more like documentaries; real-life stunts and pranks that push the limits of danger and vulgarity for the sake of comedy.

3D is more entertaining than the first two. Some of the vulgarity goes a little too far; for some reason, vomit grosses me out more than feces; but you can’t help but laugh at the outrageousness of it all.

my rating : 4 of 5

2010

video review : Jackass Forever

Michael Angelo’s Three Cheese Baked Ziti

Michael Angelo's Three Cheese Baked Ziti

This is “zita pasta smothered in a delicate cream sauce” with parmesan and white wine. That makes it a fancy alternative to plain macaroni and cheese. It’s also “topped with mozzarella and Romano”, which is where the Three Cheese theme comes into play.

You might think you made a blunder when it comes out a tad burnt until you notice there are also brown spots on the box photo. That adds to its “homemade taste”, which is damn good. My only complaint is the relatively large size of the ziti pieces.

my rating : 4 of 5

No Sugar Keto Cup : Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter

No Sugar Keto Cup : Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter

If these Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Keto (diet) Cups aren’t as yummy as Reese’s, and I don’t think they are, that fault is compensated by the fact that they have No Sugar, which is amazing given their taste. The secret to the sweetness is erythritol; the one questionable item on an otherwise impressively simple (healthy) ingredients list.

my rating : 4 of 5

Little Debbie Mini Powdered Donuts

Little Debbie Mini Powdered Donuts

Little Debbie’s Mini Powdered Donuts are baked fresh and made with homemade imperfection. The hole sizes may vary, you might find some donuts have less powder than others and they have the tendency to sweat when stored in warm environments, but they are tasty. As tasty as Entenmann’s? No, but certainly good enough, especially when you eat them by the halves.

my rating : 4 of 5