a dream I had about a woman named Rebecca

Parts of it were like a movie; one of those dramatic tearjerkers you see on Lifetime. Rebecca, a woman I used to work with in real life, had a decent job until she got fired for stealing. That was, as far as I could tell, the beginning of her downfall.

The good news was that her boyfriend; a man probably in his thirties named Sid; had a job, so he could take care of her. That is until he got fired what seemed like weeks later. The reason for his firing was where the real drama came into play.

Rebecca’s ex-boyfriend, the one before Sid, was still enraged over their breakup. She’d dumped him for Sid before she got fired. So he went to Sid’s job, which was also the place she got fired from; they used to work together; and caused a scene.

That scene wasn’t in the dream. Either Rebecca, who for some reason was constantly around me as if we still worked together, or someone we knew told me what happened. Her ex had a meltdown and tried to fight Sid right there at the job.

There was a lot of commotion, yelling and cursing, which ultimately resulted in Sid being fired. That meant there would be no one to help take care of Rebecca and her two or three kids, whom I don’t think was fathered by either guy.

She had her parents but didn’t want to burden them. I think that’s what she told me, but I suspect it had more to do with disappointing them. Still I overheard her on the phone, basically in tears, saying the kids would be staying with them.

She’d stay there also, off and on, when not staying with Sid. I don’t know why the kids wouldn’t follow, but it was probably because she didn’t want to burden them (kids) with having to go back and forth every week or two. They also had school.

Another reason could’ve been that she didn’t really trust Sid and didn’t want her kids around him that much. He was just a co-worker after all; one she’d recently started dated not long before dumping a guy she perhaps regretted leaving.

This is gossipy speculation, but it seems she’d been in a glum state ever since. Getting fired, losing her home; I didn’t mention that part; and Sid getting fired for a reason she was inadvertently responsible for would only add to her depression.

She mumbled something to me one day; I think the day she was sitting out on the window sill, looking down at what would’ve probably been a deadly drop; that sounded like, “I wanna kill myself.” I asked her to repeat it and that’s what she said.

I felt sorry for her. She seemed to make bad decisions in life when it came to money and relationships. She also smoked a lot of cigarettes; you could smell it; and may have done heavier drugs, but she seemed like a good-enough person.

She was also attractive; a slim-built Caucasian with sexy legs, a perky cleavage and a prettyish face. She, like the men she dated, seemed to be in her thirties, perhaps around 40, and was a bit rough around the edges but still attractive.

I’ve never been the type of guy to take care of a woman financially and I’m certainly not the type to help raise a woman’s kids, but I imagined being her next boyfriend and helping her out if only for the sex and cigarette-breath kisses.

What I told her was advice I try to follow in my own life. “When you come across major problems in life, you should think about how to solve them.” It’s simple and obvious enough but profound in its implications and she seemed to agree.

The dream ended in a weird way. I must’ve still been living in the house I grew-up in because I remember seeing a young black guy come out of the old Simpson’s building that isn’t there anymore. I asked him if there was anyone (else) in there.

I think he told me it was just him before asking Rebecca about Sid. I don’t remember the question and he didn’t mention Sid by name, but she did in response to his question. “Do you mean Sid,” she might’ve phrased it. I awoke soon after.

2020 ( August 06 )

audio review : Bruce Wayne [ Gothom City 1987 ] ( album ) … Esham

audio review : Bruce Wayne [ Gothom City 1987 ] ( album ) ... Esham

I don’t know what the 1987 bit is about; he says that’s when he “came up”; but Gothom City is Detroit, which makes Esham Bruce Wayne. Batman is, of course, a member of The Justice League and the rapper embraces a life of crime. Perhaps the moniker has to do with the fact that they’re both millionaires with a thing for sexy women.

“We can fuck like animals, bitch, I’m not soft,” he tells one before vowing to “take the dick out the pussy and jack the fuck off… all over your body.” How’s that for romance? When he’s not chasing females, or fading “that little pussy like Telly Savalas”, he’s riding down 7 Mile Road in his Volvo 850 with a heavy stash of cash, drugs and guns.

There are almost enough good songs here to make a short album; You Betta Ask Somebody, a fun summer anthem based on Rock With You by Michael Jackson, is easily the best of the bunch; but Esham revels in excess, so he gives us another album with too many songs on it. There are some demos near the end he didn’t even bother to title.

my rating : 3 of 5


a dream I had about driving my cars from a bus

I was on a bus, going south (southwest) on what seemed like the first street I lived on in Detroit, except it was longer. Instead of one intersecting Avenue before you had to turn left or right; or crash thru a fence, down a grassy slope and the wrong way onto a busy Freeway; there were at least two.

I know that because as the bus passed each intersection, seeming to slow down or stop as if there was a Stop sign at each one, I was able to look out of the window to my left and drive my own vehicle; I think it was two cars, but it could have been a car and a truck or some kind of SUV; via remote control.

I don’t know if it was an actual remote control like one used for an RC toy, my phone or what, but I was able to drive one of two vehicles I owned at each intersection. It seemed they were already rolling (northwest) and I was merely trying to park them to the side so that they wouldn’t block traffic.

My plan was to get off the bus soon, before it turned left or right at the end of the street, walk over and drive each vehicle home. What I don’t understand is why I didn’t just get off immediately. Perhaps I thought there could be more intersections with more vehicles, though it’s unlikely I’d own more than two.

I awoke just before or after getting off, contemplating how to drive two vehicles home. I was uncomfortable leaving them parked haphazardly as they were because I didn’t have time to park them properly. In hindsight, the most sensible choice would be to drive one home, walk back and drive the other one.

2020 ( July 20 )

Hannity : a Green Bay town hall meeting with Donald Trump