video review : Bitch I’m Madonna ( song ) … Madonna ( featuring Nicki Minaj )

video review : Bitch I'm Madonna ( song ) ... Madonna ( featuring Nicki Minaj )

There’s a party going on and I wasn’t invited. The scene; people having crazy fun at what looks like a lavish rooftop hotel suite in or near Los Angeles; is awesome. I especially dig the part where host Madonna prances her way up a red-lit graffiti-laced staircase and tongue-kisses a random girl. It’s nice to see she’s still being a slut in her 50s.

What the video would do better without are the cringey cameos from celebrities who obviously aren’t at the party. Having Beyoncé in your video, lip-syncing to your song, makes for ultimate bragging rights, even for a VIP like Madonna, but it also makes for an awkward edit. The one exception is Nicki Minaj, who at least raps on the song.

my rating : 4 of 5

2015

audio review : Babylove ( song ) … Morris Day

This is a party anthem for sugar daddies. The club is packed with “sexy people”, but it’s the young ladies Morris Day is after, “as long as you’re 21”. What he means is 21 years old, no younger and not much older, and who could blame him? The best meat is fresh meat. There are no girls in jail though, so Jerome is posted at the door, checking state IDs and driver’s licenses.

Pedophilic undertones and all, the song is a banger. A louder beat (drums/bass), less cluttered production and more melodic ad-libs; the one at 3:08 is the best part of the song for me; could push it up to classic status, but it’s still the jam as is, mostly because of a set of hooks catchy enough to go fishing. “Calling on the sexy ones,” it goes, “Girls are sure nough fine.”

my rating : 4 of 5

2021

audio review : Jam And Lewis [ Volume One ] ( album ) ... Jimmy Jam And Terry Lewis

audio review : Jam And Lewis [ Volume One ] ( album ) … Jimmy Jam And Terry Lewis

audio review : Jam And Lewis [ Volume One ] ( album ) ... Jimmy Jam And Terry

The title suggests a compilation of songs from the past, but this is a new album; the duo’s first ever after four decades of making music for other people’s. Some of those singers are featured here. Every song is by a different artist or group, in fact, with one flagrant exception.

That Janet Jackson isn’t included, and starting the whole damn set, is about as disheartening as recent rumors that Jam And Lewis aren’t involved in her upcoming Black Diamond project. Unbreakable was underwhelming, yes, but they should never stop making music together.

Maybe if they had a new Janet song, they wouldn’t need to restore a 2005 Toni Braxton album reject, the inclusion of which makes me wonder how much of this set is actually new. Babylove; the best song and one true jam; sure is. It’s Time for another Morris Day solo album.

my rating : 3 of 5

2021

a dream I had about meeting Stevie Wonder

I don’t know where we were; it seemed like the eatery area of a shopping mall; but I was with Jamel when I saw him. “That’s Stevie Wonder,” I said aloud as I approached him. He looked skinnier and younger than he is in real life, but, at first sight, I was convinced it was him.

He was standing behind a counter like a cashier would if it really were a shopping mall as I greeted him hand to hand; something I almost certainly wouldn’t have done in real life. He had a big smile on his face; I remember his sunglasses and dreadlocks; as I showered him with praise.

I was like a typical zealous fan, telling him how much of a “legend” he was, and he seemed to appreciate it. That is until I told him, rather Jamel and the sparse spread of strangers around us, that he was “one of the big three”, listed the order and pointed out that he was “number two”.

I meant it as a compliment, meaning that, in some hyperbolic blarneying 1980s-throwback way, he was the second best or at least biggest music icon in the world, but he seemed to take it as a bit of a gibe as if I was emphasizing the fact that he wasn’t the best.

I started with number three; Prince; then named himself as number two as he continued to smile. It’s not until I apologized to “Mister Wonder”; something else I probably wouldn’t have done in real life; and said that Michael Jackson was number one that he seemed to take umbrage.

Perhaps it was the way the people around us; I remember unwittingly standing in the way of a freakishly tall guy after all this; reacted when I said it, like the crowd at a rap battle when one rapper lands a devastating insult to his opponent, that made Stevie jump to his own defense.

He wasn’t actually angry or upset, at least he didn’t seem to be, but neither was he smiling as big as he’d been until then. I don’t even remember what he said, but the gist was less how dare I say he’s not the best and more a stern declaration that he is, indeed, the best.

I mentioned what I probably wouldn’t have done in real life and I doubt Stevie Wonder would’ve really argued with me even if he disagreed. He seems humble enough and he and Michael Jackson were Good Friends, so he probably would’ve just laughed or made a joke about it.

2021 ( July 19 )

audio review : The Mail Man ( EP ) … E-40

audio review : The Mail Man ( EP ) ... E-40

I don’t know why the intro; a disclaimer in which E-40 lets listeners know the violent “mob music” he makes is solely for entertainment; is Scotch-taped to the beginning of the first song instead of being listed as a track of its own, but that technical blunder is the only major flaw of this six-song set.

Neva Broke, that first song, is a P-Funk-like banger about armed robbery; the point is that all a poor man needs is a “strap” (gun) to make money; while Bring The Yellow Tape, another crime story, deals in premeditated murder. Other highlights include Where The Party At and Captain Save-A-Hoe.

my rating : 4 of 5

1993