audio review : Get Off The Stage ( album ) … Too Short

audio review : Get Off The Stage ( album ) ... Too Short

Sounding more like a collection of song demos than album number seventeen, Get Off The Stage will have you yelling just that. Too Short has never sounded so uninspired and the beats are basic, but the worst parts by far are the lame-ass hooks. Dum Ditty Dum is downright awful.

I like I Like It; it’s the one good song on the album; and I’m glad Short Dogg came out of retirement when he did to drop some more game on us, but, if it’s gotten to the point where he’s putting out shit like this, it’s time to take his own advice and get the fuck Off The Stage for good.

my rating : 2 of 5

2007

audio review : Curtain Call 2 ( album ) … Eminem

audio review : Curtain Call 2 ( album ) ... Eminem

Eminem should’ve come up with a different title. Curtain Call made conceptual sense coming after the Encore album. This new one, based on the cover artwork, attempts to merge the concert/stage theme with, of all random things, a pinball game.

Musically it covers every Eminem album since that first Hits compilation, which, since he’s made one good album in all that time; one man’s “trash” is another man’s treasure; results in a lackluster affair. Even his raps have gotten corny and verbose.

“Oh,” he mocks on Rap God, “he’s too mainstream.” It’s kind of true though. His first two LPs were fun, edgy and provocative. Relapse was a gratifying throwback. Imagine a cringey Ed Sheeran, Rihanna or Beyoncé chorus on one of those albums.

my rating : 3 of 5

2022

audio review : Curtain Call [ The Hits ] ( album ) … Eminem

“Hi” was his formal introduction to the world; “My name is Slim Shady.” Almost seven years later, after becoming the most famous rapper ever, Eminem returns to the stage for a Curtain Call. It’s a compilation of his most popular songs; The Hits; plus a few new ones.

Fack, an odd start, finds him shoving a gerbil in his ass. “This don’t mean I’m gay,” he declares, “I don’t like men.” It’s a silly song that has the rapper, a genius during his Shady LP debut, squirting a wad of babble. That’s the problem with too much of his recent stuff.

His rap skills have steadily declined; a fact that would standout like a thumb sore from holding the mic too long if these songs were ordered chronologically. Then there’s the problem an Eminem Hits album was bound to create; that most of his best songs aren’t hits at all.

Guilty Conscious and Stan; a studio version featuring Elton John singing and playing the piano like he does on the Live one would be epic; represent Eminem at his best, but they’re here amongst a bunch of corny chart-toppers like Without Me and Mockingbird.

my rating : 3 of 5

2005

audio review : Curtain Call 2 ( album ) … Eminem

video review : Robin Harris on One Night Stand

video review : Robin Harris on One Night Stand

Don’t be disillusioned by the corny prelude. Robin Harris is a funny man. He’s often downright hilarious, especially when he’s making fun of people. “What you laughing at,” he says to a balding man in the audience before directing a stage technician to beam in on him, “Put the light on the brother with the hole in his natural.”

It’s not just the jokes that are funny. It’s also Robin’s vocal inflections, body language and overall delivery. He’s like the uncle who talks (shit) about everybody at the family get-together. It’s all in fun though. He spends a little too much time on the ending bit about Bébé’s kids, but the show is a thoroughly entertaining affair.

my rating : 4 of 5

1990