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looking for eggnog at an outdoor Christmas store
searching my house and seeing Fat Joe
finally meeting an ex-housemate
leading the charge against a tyrannical landlady
living in an apartment with a dining room
a new pair of shoes and a dangerous freeway trip
saving the life of someone also named Marcel
walking thru my apartment building
Eugene getting knocked out in class
a video I shot in a high school science lab
a five-part Steven Spielberg movie
having an interesting discussion with a woman at a table
watching a video of a girl being killed
overhearing my lesbian roommate have sex
a girl interviewing me for school
living in an apartment in Detroit
having sex with Michelle Waterson
watching a movie that started to become real
my next-door neighbor and a bunch of dogs
a girl who was about to let me put my tongue in her ass
living in a college dorm and seeing an enormous insect
a gay school teacher giving me his phone number
lying to a high school security guard to get out of trouble
a girl staring at me like she wanted to fuck
witnessing a crazy traffic collision
taking pictures of girls I used to know
two old people who vacationed a lot
being at school with Wendy and Leanne
a video girl who seemed to have a crush on me
kissing and fondling a girl named Wendy
living with people and a caged bird
walking to a college campus and teleporting back home to get my car
a teen prison inmate attempting an escape
a man and a woman near the end of their romance
being on a tower and trying to run home before being eaten by lions
attending an event with tables of free White Castle burgers
waiting till the last minutes to study for a college exam
taking notes in a history class
taking a photo of a police officer at my job
seeing an airplane going down outside my window
working in a mansion with Sheila
being trapped nude in a bathroom stall
going to Solomon’s Temple in Detroit
seeing two dragons fighting in the night sky
hiring Pinky and Misty to exercise at my mother’s house
asking for Cap’n Crunch at Target
somehow getting an enormous amount of cash from a bank ATM
trying to interview Hulk Hogan for the site
being featured on a “reality” TV show with Jack Osbourne
my boss Heather sitting on my face
being in an elementary school reading class
playing Night Of The Living Dead
trading insults with a girl named Eliza
a tube of peanut butter toothpaste
a girl giving me her baby in Miss Dubose’s class
I was at some kind of outdoor Christmas event. It was more like a huge store, possibly connected to a shopping mall, that sold Christmas trees, decorations and the like. The whole place probably smelled like pine cones. There were reefs, stockings, figurines and so on; a shopper’s delight for anything Christmas themed; but all I was looking for was the eggnog.
I say “the” instead of “some” because I had the sense I’d been to this store before and remembered seeing, if not buying, it. I was going to ask a worker, preferably a manager, where it was but couldn’t find a free one amongst the crowd, which probably included a line of parents waiting for pictures of their kids sitting on the lap of a man dressed as Santa Claus.
When I finally found the eggnog area; they only sold TG Lee brand at $7 a carton; it was a bittersweet experience. The main display case; a round stand of sorts; was empty, so I walked over to the back where I thought I saw other varieties, including Chocolate and Cookie-flavored, but I soon realized they were some sort of eggnog candy; nothing to drink.
After scanning that section back and forth, seemingly trying to will a carton into existence, I actually saw one. It was a Cookie one and there was a man standing to my left; he was looking too; so I quickly grabbed it and eggnog spilled all over my fingers. The man gasped in surprise or perhaps disgust. It was an open carton that wasn’t even being refrigerated.
Now that it was obvious why there was apparently one carton of eggnog left in the whole place; it was facing backward when I grabbed it, which is why I couldn’t tell it had been opened; I quickly put it back. I, the nog junkie I am, did however put the chewing gum I’d been holding in that same hand in my mouth; odd as I rarely chew gum in real life; and savor the taste.
2024 October 11
· Born To Roll … Masta Ace
· Green Onions … Booker T And The MGs
· Heavy In The Game … E-40 + B-Legit
· It’s All Gravity … E-40
· Let The Beat Hit Em … Lisa Lisa
· Skeletons … Stevie Wonder
· Son Of A Gun … Janet Jackson ( featuring Carly Simon )
· Verbal Milk … X Clan
· 187 Proof … Spice 1
· Daughter [ Beyoncé ] … the bridge ( Caro Mio Ben )
· FML [ Kanye West ] … the last minute
· Keep My Spirit Alive [ Westside Gunn | Kanye West ] … Westside Gunn’s part ( verse and ad-libs )
· Ladies [ Fiona Apple ] … the end when she starts saying “Yet another woman to whom I won’t get thru”
· Money [ Michael Jackson ] … the verses
· Move [ Beyoncé ] … the first half before the chords come in
· Pure Souls [ Roddy Ricch | Kanye West ] … Shenseea’s part
· Son Of A Gun [ Janet Jackson ] … Carly Simon’s chorus
· Spend The Night [ E-40 | Droop-E | Work Dirty | King Hot | Laroo Tha Hard Hitta | B-Slimm ] … the hook
· Strung Out Johnny [ Iggy Pop ] … most of the bridge ( the part that starts with “First time you do it with a friend” )
· Til The Dawn [ E-40 ] … Suga Free’s verse
· 305.1 [ Bass 305 ] … the jazz bit at the end