audio review : Babylove ( song ) … Morris Day

This is a party anthem for sugar daddies. The club is packed with “sexy people”, but it’s the young ladies Morris Day is after, “as long as you’re 21”. What he means is 21 years old, no younger and not much older, and who could blame him? The best meat is fresh meat. There are no girls in jail though, so Jerome is posted at the door, checking state IDs and driver’s licenses.

Pedophilic undertones and all, the song is a banger. A louder beat (drums/bass), less cluttered production and more melodic ad-libs; the one at 3:08 is the best part of the song for me; could push it up to classic status, but it’s still the jam as is, mostly because of a set of hooks catchy enough to go fishing. “Calling on the sexy ones,” it goes, “Girls are sure nough fine.”

my rating : 4 of 5

2021

audio review : Jam And Lewis [ Volume One ] ( album ) ... Jimmy Jam And Terry Lewis

audio review : Xxplosive ( song ) … Kurupt + Six-Two ( featuring Nate Dogg + Hittman )

The odd song structure, which starts with a hook never heard again and separates two rap verses by what itself sounds like a Nate Dogg song demo, isn’t as off-putting as it should be. In fact it works, mostly because it all sounds good. The best part, aside from Nate’s splendid vocal melodies, is the beat; a pimped-out funk-guitar loop that sounds like it was made to smoke weed and fuck hoes to.

my rating : 4 of 5

1999

audio review : Chronic 2001 ( album ) ... Dr Dre

Adrenaline Shoc [ Smart Energy ] : Cotton Candy

Adrenaline Shoc [ Smart Energy ] : Cotton Candy

The flavor does remind you of Cotton Candy, at least when you first taste it. The aftertaste of this Smart Energy drink from Adrenaline Shoc is more similar to Smarties or Pez.

There’s “zero sugar” though and, aside from its suspect substitutes, the ingredients list, which include green coffee beans and ginseng root extract, looks surprisingly healthy.

my rating : 3 of 5

Bang : Frosé Rosé

Bang : Frosé Rosé

With a whopping 300 milligrams of caffeine per serving, this “potent brain and body fuel” is, according to the can, “not your stereotypical high sugar, life-sucking soda masquerading as an energy drink!” There’s actually no sugar at all, a major health benefit, though the inclusion of sucralose as a substitute isn’t much better.

The taste is hard to describe. I’ve never had Rosé (wine) but there are hints of grape, along with strawberry and maybe some Pez. It’s certainly sweet, thanks to the aforementioned sucralose, at least when you first start drinking. The sweetness seems to fade after a while. Drink it partially frozen to get the full conceptual impact.

my rating : 3 of 5

Old Orchard Healthy Balance : Strawberry Watermelon

Old Orchard Healthy Balance : Strawberry Watermelon

This juice tastes like garbage. That’s not to say it’s nasty; it isn’t; just that its flavor is comparable to the sweet smell of trash. It also smells like trash; it’s probably the smell that causes it to taste that way; but without the repugnant stench that often comes with it.

Aside from that, the drink, from the Old Orchard Healthy Balance line, isn’t bad. It’s mostly water and apple juice, so the name is misleading, but there is some Strawberry and Watermelon juice added. No sugar though; just sucralose, which may be as bad for your health.

my rating : 3 of 5