video review : CHUD

video review : CHUD

The one payoff to sitting thru this shitty excuse for a horror flick, the monsters of which look like Halloween costumes with light-bulb eyes, is the ending credits. Over it plays the full version of the opening theme music and it sounds good.

The title stands for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers; the homeless population of Manhattan turned killer creature as a result of a secret Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal; and the movie is as stupid as those acronyms.

my rating : 1 of 5

1984

Serendipity Ice Cream : Selena Gomez’s Cookies And Cream Remix

Serendipity Ice Cream : Selena Gomez's Cookies And Cream Remix

Unfortunately this ice cream, albeit pink, doesn’t taste like Selena Gomez. It’s her “ever-fresh perspective” we get here as it was apparently her idea to blend traditional Cookies And Cream with Moose Tracks fudge swirls.

The color combination is a nod to Blackpink; this hard-serves as a Remix to their Ice Cream song duet; and the taste is a hit. The Cookies to cream ratio is just right and the fudge bits taste like hot chocolate powder clumps.

my rating : 4 of 5

video review : Notorious

video review : Notorious

“Biggie, give me one more chance,” to cash in on your death. This movie; based on the life of Chris Wallace, better known as The Notorious BIG; isn’t really about biographical art. Neither does it offer anything new about his life. It’s just a straight summary that goes from his hardships as a Brooklyn street kid to the Biggest name the “eastcoast” rap world has to offer without offering any unique insight or perspective of its own. That means, even if you never read Vibe or watched BET enough to know what’s going to happen, what does is never enough to warrant a Hollywood movie.

Aside from his “so-called beef with you-know-who” and the spectacular murders that follow, BIG’s life of rags-to-riches, worldwide fame and bitches; Naturi Naughton plays the role of Lil Kim; just isn’t that interesting when the words don’t rhyme over beats. The storytellers here; screenwriters Reggie Rock and Cheo Hodari, along with director George Tillman; simply lack the creative know-how to make up for that fact. What that results in is a movie any cinema-driven fan could’ve made with a big-enough budget and approval from $ean “Puffy” Combs as executive producer.

my rating : 3 of 5

2009

video review : Fatal Attraction

video review : Fatal Attraction

Jeez. They couldn’t have casted a more Attractive lead actress than Glenn Close? I admit to not turning away during the bare breast scenes, but her big manly face leaves much to be desired. Perhaps that’s the point. Her romantical obsession for a lawyer named Dan after their weekend “love” affair would be less realistic if she were prettier than his wife.

It might take a while for you to realize the daughter isn’t the son, speaking of odd casting, but the plot is clear and straight-forward once the gist is established. What makes it good is the suspense, which revolves around Alex’s mental state. The crazier her obsession gets, the more it thrills, though some of her antics near the end go a bit over the top.

my rating : 4 of 5

1987