video review : Cloverfield

video review : Cloverfield

A terrorist the size of Godzilla invades New York City and goes on the attack, breaking thru that big fourth wall in the process, for Cloverfield. It’s a Matt Reeves movie; an artsy creature feature of sorts; but most of the credit goes to Hud; the guy with the (shaky) camera. Lucky for us, he continues to record even as buildings start to fall and The Statue Of Liberty’s head goes rolling by.

my rating : 4 of 5

2008

video review : 10 Cloverfield Lane

video review : Raw ( comedy special ) … Eddie Murphy

video review : Raw ( comedy special ) ... Eddie Murphy

When Eddie Murphy impersonates a gay guy imitating a police siren and a starving man’s reaction to eating a cracker, it’s laugh-out-loud funny, but such moments are fewer and farther between than the ones from his Delirious show.

That one rarely lets up. This one is funny; once you get past the corny introduction skit; but not nearly as often. He spends too much time on Bill Cosby, which isn’t one of his best impersonations, romantic relationships and sex.

my rating : 3 of 5

1987

video review : Mommie Dearest

video review : Mommie Dearest

I’m not sure why, but I get the feeling Joan Crawford might be mentally unstable. Perhaps it’s the way she reacts when she realizes her daughter’s dress is hanging on a, gasp, wire hanger. It’s one of the movie’s many examples of overacting but also its most iconic, and most hilarious, moment. All of Mommie Dearest’s best scenes, in fact, are ones in which she’s abusing her daughter.

To be fair, the plot is based on a book, a memoir, written by Crawford’s real-life adopted daughter, so we’re only getting one side of the story. When it comes to allegations of mistreatment, especially among dysfunctional families, the truth is often overdramatized for the sake of one’s own virtue. Her take is interesting though, even if barely enough to have been made into a Hollywood movie.

my rating : 3 of 5

1981

video review : Short Circuit 2

video review : Short Circuit 2

Short Circuit 2 is better than the first one. They’re both corny, thanks mostly to the personality of the star robot, but this one has a better plot. It sends Number 5, now known as Johnny 5, to New York City to build toy replicas of himself. Of course, all hell breaks loose from there.

There’s a ridiculous sequence involving a restaurant freezer and an answering machine; in a movie about a living robot, this bit comes across as the most implausible; but it’s a decent sequel. It would be better if it took itself seriously though. Johnny 5’s sense of humor is cringey.

my rating : 3 of 5

1988

video review : Bitch I’m Madonna ( song ) … Madonna ( featuring Nicki Minaj )

video review : Bitch I'm Madonna ( song ) ... Madonna ( featuring Nicki Minaj )

There’s a party going on and I wasn’t invited. The scene; people having crazy fun at what looks like a lavish rooftop hotel suite in or near Los Angeles; is awesome. I especially dig the part where host Madonna prances her way up a red-lit graffiti-laced staircase and tongue-kisses a random girl. It’s nice to see she’s still being a slut in her 50s.

What the video would do better without are the cringey cameos from celebrities who obviously aren’t at the party. Having Beyoncé in your video, lip-syncing to your song, makes for ultimate bragging rights, even for a VIP like Madonna, but it also makes for an awkward edit. The one exception is Nicki Minaj, who at least raps on the song.

my rating : 4 of 5

2015