video review : Thelma And Louise

video review : Thelma And Louise

The story of Thelma And Louise doesn’t really start to get interesting until it’s almost over. By then, the duo’s weekend plans, which started as a simple vacation to “the mountains”, have long gone awry; thanks in part to Thelma’s decision to bring her gun.

The final scene is poignant; it’s a hell of an ending; but the following flashbacks are counterproductive. Comedic and romantic undertones also lessen the impact of the movie; an unlikely chick flick that would be better if fully embraced the thrill of the chase.

my rating : 3 of 5


audio review : The Mail Man ( EP ) … E-40

audio review : The Mail Man ( EP ) ... E-40

I don’t know why the intro; a disclaimer in which E-40 lets listeners know the violent “mob music” he makes is solely for entertainment; is Scotch-taped to the beginning of the first song instead of being listed as a track of its own, but that technical blunder is the only major flaw of this six-song set.

Neva Broke, that first song, is a P-Funk-like banger about armed robbery; the point is that all a poor man needs is a “strap” (gun) to make money; while Bring The Yellow Tape, another crime story, deals in premeditated murder. Other highlights include Where The Party At and Captain Save-A-Hoe.

my rating : 4 of 5


audio review : Xxplosive ( song ) … Kurupt + Six-Two ( featuring Nate Dogg + Hittman )

The odd song structure, which starts with a hook never heard again and separates two rap verses by what itself sounds like a Nate Dogg song demo, isn’t as off-putting as it should be. In fact it works, mostly because it all sounds good. The best part, aside from Nate’s splendid vocal melodies, is the beat; a pimped-out funk-guitar loop that sounds like it was made to smoke weed and fuck hoes to.

my rating : 4 of 5


audio review : Chronic 2001 ( album ) ... Dr Dre

audio review : Relax ( song ) … Problem ( featuring E-40 )

The problem here is Problem. His apathetic (garbage) vocal delivery, specifically on the hook; I hate the way he says “Ooooh” and that he continues to rap after saying he’s “out”; ruins what could’ve been a decent song.

The obvious highlight, aside from the way the beat plays (out) at the end, is E-40. “Never reveal your enforcers; make them think that you’re nervous,” he advises, “not knowing you active duty, more guns than The Service.”

my rating : 1 of 5


audio review : The Gift Of Gab ( album ) ... E-40

my dead schoolmates

The first schoolmate I heard about dying was Nikel in middle school. We met in either the sixth or seventh grade. We had a gym class together. In the showers, which, aside from going to The YMCA with my Big Brothers mentor, was my only time having to be naked around other guys, Nikel was the only kid whose chest I remember being flatter than mine. I was sort of insecure about being (too) skinny back then, at least when it came to people seeing me with no clothes on, but it was a relief knowing I wasn’t the only one.

We didn’t have a close relationship, but we were friends. He was cool and laidback but also a tough street dude. One day me and another boy were wrestling. Nikel thought he was really trying to fight me and I think grabbed him by the arm until I explained that we were just playing around. I respected Nikel for that though and would’ve gladly returned the favor if I ever saw him in similar trouble. He apparently died in June, just a few days after the seventh grade semester ended, at the age of 13 from a gunshot wound to the face.

Quentella got shot two years later. We’d just taken English 2 together. I remember Miss Philyaw announcing her death to the class when we came back for English 3. The rumor was that her boyfriend killed her. Carlos also died during those early high school years. For him it was a drive-by shooting. I was talking with John when a solemn Cordell walked up like “Carlos dead”. My last memory of Carlos is him ignoring me after I greeted him outside and my last memory of Quentella is her getting mad at me, whatever that’s worth.

I don’t think I knew Kenneth, but I knew Darrell; the guy who killed him. We were classmates a few years earlier. I remember him collapsing from a probably self-induced asthma attack after the teacher made him stand as a form of punishment for being insubordinate. I also remember chasing him one day outside after school until he couldn’t go any further because of his asthma. It was James, who also went to middle school with us, who told me about the shooting, which Darrell reportedly admitted to in criminal court.

A girl named Keena died a few months later. I don’t know if I knew her; I never got a chance to see a photo; but she was almost certainly the one whose death Miss Gilchrist, who seemed even more solemn than Cordell had, announced to the class. She said Keena, if it was her, had been run over by a car, but she apparently got the early rumor version of the story. She made it sound like just an innocent school accident, but, if we’re referring to the same girl, it apparently had more to do with Keena being targeted for rape.

The only other dead schoolmate I know of who didn’t die by gunshot is Jermaine from college. We never had a class together, but we did work together at a campus library. I was closer to him than the others. We’d hangout sometimes. He used to give me driving lessons. He reportedly died of pneumonia, but someone who should know, the same person who said she suspected he was gay; her suspicion was stronger than mine, though I do remember him going on about how ugly Jennifer Aniston is; told me he actually died of Aids.

Eugene was shot and killed just a few years ago, which goes back to middle school. He went there with me, James, Darrell, Quentella and Nikel. Eugene and Nikel might have even been close friends. James and I detested him though. Despite his shy quiet demeanor, he was a real troublemaker; a bully’s henchman type. James said he (Eugene) once tried to provoke some boys to “jump” him outside of school but was scared shitless when he (James) caught him alone a day or few later and was about to beat his ass because of it.

Those are all the dead schoolmates I can think of, each of whom I can say I knew except for Keena and Kenneth. Darrell is still alive, I assume, and still in prison for killing Kenneth, though, based on his sentence, he could be free soon or might already be. I don’t know what it means that most of these people died by gunshot, aside from living in a notoriously rough city, but it seems Nikel is the only one who wasn’t purposely shot. His killer said he was just “playing” when the gun went off. I don’t know if that boy got locked up or not.

audio review : High Off Life ( album ) … Future

audio review : High Off Life ( album ) ... Future

Future is a rich man with a lavish collection of jewelry and several luxury cars; his money and fame attract so many “bad bitches”, it’s Hard To Choose One; so it’s no wonder he’s High Off Life. He’s also high on “green”. This, his eight album, serves as a soundtrack to his biography; at least the parts he wants us to know about.

Not that his heavily Auto-Tuned vocals are the highlight here. The best parts are the gritty Trap beats; those of us who can’t switch the “yellow Lambo” with the “green Ferrari” have to be careful not to blow our woofers with all this bass; though the set would be a lot less interesting without his singsong raps to set the scenes.

my rating : 3 of 5