video review : Bitch I’m Madonna ( song ) … Madonna ( featuring Nicki Minaj )

video review : Bitch I'm Madonna ( song ) ... Madonna ( featuring Nicki Minaj )

There’s a party going on and I wasn’t invited. The scene; people having crazy fun at what looks like a lavish rooftop hotel suite in or near Los Angeles; is awesome. I especially dig the part where host Madonna prances her way up a red-lit graffiti-laced staircase and tongue-kisses a random girl. It’s nice to see she’s still being a slut in her 50s.

What the video would do better without are the cringey cameos from celebrities who obviously aren’t at the party. Having Beyoncé in your video, lip-syncing to your song, makes for ultimate bragging rights, even for a VIP like Madonna, but it also makes for an awkward edit. The one exception is Nicki Minaj, who at least raps on the song.

my rating : 4 of 5


audio review : Extinction Level Event 2 [ The Wrath Of God ] ( album ) … Busta Rhymes

audio review : Extinction Level Event 2 [ The Wrath of God ] ( album ) ... Busta Rhymes

It seems absurd for an Extinction Level Event to have a sequel after just 22 years; The Final World Front wasn’t so final; but here we have it, which isn’t to say it doesn’t sometimes come close to justifying its existence. Busta Rhymes, now a Leader of the old school, still brings the boom-bap; vintage hip-hop producers featured here include 9th Wonder, Pete Rock, DJ Premier and DJ Scratch; and his flamboyant rap style still sounds fresh after all these years.

With that, ELE2 sounds damn good when it’s just Busta Rhyming to a beat. He says Czar is “music for riots” and, though his groupthink ideology in regard to race and religion suggest he’s more of a boneheaded caveman, it gets you amped enough to be just that. Boomp sounds even better. What the album would be better without is the bombastic Intro, ill-fitting song interpolations; he resurrects ODB and BBD; silly skits and irky Chris Rock monologues.

my rating : 3 of 5


audio review : Blame Game ( song ) … Kanye West ( featuring John Legend )

The most endearing part of this song comes near the end where a semi-funny Chris Rock engages in a dialogue with what is supposed to be Kanye West’s girlfriend. She sounds awkwardly copy-and-pasted, retarded or drugged out of her fucking mind, but it’s cute how she says what she says. Though neither voice should be panned to the left or the right because its supposed to be “Yeezy” listening from his mono phone speaker, the background piano music is as beautiful as the Dark Twisted album title suggests.

Lo-fi drums come and go, but that music, which is at times highlighted by what sounds like a violin, is looped from start to end. That’s a winning move, along with the chorus. The “for sure” part sounds out of place, but it’s a nice chorus, especially when Kanye West replaces John Legend and adds his own melodic touch. If nothing else, that part supports my point that it’s nice vocal melodies, not nice voices, that matter most when it comes to the quality of a song. As far as intimacy goes, John Legend distracts.

There should be an unknown voice as the “local dude” West’s chick cheats on him with instead of Chris Rock. It’s certainly conceivable that a pretty “bitch” who’s leeched onto the dick (heart) of one wealthy celebrity would leech onto the heart (dick) of another, but it’s not supposed to be that way. He’s supposed to be a “neighborhood nigga” who couldn’t afford to buy the watch he wanted. That artistic blunder throws the concept off a bit. Then again, Chris Rock is a professional actor, so I guess it’s okay.

my rating : 4 of 5


audio review : My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy ( album ) ... Kanye West

video review : I Think I Love My Wife

I Think I Love My Wife

Nikki is hot and ready. If I were her friend Richard, I wouldn’t have a problem cheating on my wife with her. His co-worker George seems to get it. He’s been cheating on his wife for years and all he needs is Viagra to keep it up, but he’s slick and discreet. Richard is a buffoon, so when he does decide to cross the line, everyone seems to know. The point this romantic comedy, sloppily written and directed by Chris Rock, misses is that having sex with another woman has nothing to do with whether or not you love your wife.

my rating : 3 of 5