video review : Bitch I’m Madonna ( song ) … Madonna ( featuring Nicki Minaj )

video review : Bitch I'm Madonna ( song ) ... Madonna ( featuring Nicki Minaj )

There’s a party going on and I wasn’t invited. The scene; people having crazy fun at what looks like a lavish rooftop hotel suite in or near Los Angeles; is awesome. I especially dig the part where host Madonna prances her way up a red-lit graffiti-laced staircase and tongue-kisses a random girl. It’s nice to see she’s still being a slut in her 50s.

What the video would do better without are the cringey cameos from celebrities who obviously aren’t at the party. Having Beyoncé in your video, lip-syncing to your song, makes for ultimate bragging rights, even for a VIP like Madonna, but it also makes for an awkward edit. The one exception is Nicki Minaj, who at least raps on the song.

my rating : 4 of 5

2015

audio review : BB Talk ( song ) … Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus may have a cute face and a sexy personality, but damn her voice is annoying. She sings okay enough; it’s her talking voice that’s a boner kill. The vulgar monologues presented here, addressed to a dude she’s in romantic “love” with, are a welcomed addition; that is to say they add stylistic value to the song; but you (I) wish it were a girlier-sounding girl talking.

The pop icon and chronic smoker, age 22, sounds 44 as she blathers about burying her head in his armpit, “which weirdly smells good”, and licking his teeth. Those disturbing images are soon replaced by a chorus that instantly catches the ear. “Fuck me so you’ll stop baby-talking,” it goes, as if he couldn’t do both, and it goes down like sweet tit milk over a funky hip-hop beat.

my rating : 4 of 5

2015