dreams I had

overhearing my lesbian roommate have sex

watching My Girl in class

a girl interviewing me for school

living in an apartment in Detroit

meeting Stevie Wonder

having sex with Michelle Waterson

watching a movie that started to become real

my next-door neighbor and a bunch of dogs

a girl who was about to let me put my tongue in her ass

living in a college dorm and seeing an enormous insect

a gay school teacher giving me his phone number

lying to a high school security guard to get out of trouble

a woman named Rebecca

a girl staring at me like she wanted to fuck

driving my cars from a bus

witnessing a crazy traffic collision

being late for class

arguing with Alex Malpass

taking pictures of girls I used to know

two old people who vacationed a lot

being at school with Wendy and Leanne

a co-worker named Eugene

a video girl who seemed to have a crush on me

kissing and fondling a girl named Wendy

living with people and a caged bird

walking to a college campus and teleporting back home to get my car

500 girls at a hotel

a teen prison inmate attempting an escape

a man and a woman near the end of their romance

my car being repossessed

being on a tower and trying to run home before being eaten by lions

attending an event with tables of free White Castle burgers

a parachute man

waiting till the last minutes to study for a college exam

taking notes in a history class

taking a photo of a police officer at my job

seeing an airplane going down outside my window

working in a mansion with Sheila

being trapped nude in a bathroom stall

going to Solomon’s Temple in Detroit

a freaky bisexual girl

meeting a distant cousin

seeing two dragons fighting in the night sky

hiring Pinky and Misty to exercise at my mother’s house

asking for Cap’n Crunch at Target

going back to the past

somehow getting an enormous amount of cash from a bank ATM

trying to interview Hulk Hogan for the site

a girl and her sister

being featured on a “reality” TV show with Jack Osbourne

my boss Heather sitting on my face

working for AVI

being in an elementary school reading class

a beat I made

being at home in my apartment

playing Night Of The Living Dead

trading insults with a girl named Eliza

a tube of peanut butter toothpaste

a girl giving me her baby in Miss Dubose’s class

a sweaty porn girl with amazing tits

going back to the past

a dream I had about overhearing my lesbian roommate have sex

I might’ve already been awake, but I think it was the sound of them having sex that woke me up. Either way I was lying in bed under the covers, at least a blanket or sheet, when I overheard, or just heard, Tiara, my lesbian roommate, having sex.

I say “overheard, or just heard” because she obviously wasn’t trying to be discreet in any way. Perhaps she didn’t think I was home, but she should’ve known there was a chance. Perhaps she knew or figured I was and actually wanted me to hear her.

I say “her” instead of “them” because I could barely hear the other girl. It was mostly Tiara’s voice I heard; she was talking loud and clear almost to the point of projection; over the sound of rhythm bed creaking. That’s what really turned me on.

Tiara’s voice actually went against that, meaning it turned me off a bit. Not that she doesn’t have a sexy voice; I actually love her voice; but because of what she was saying. She was engaging in what people refer to as dirty talk, which I’m generally turned off by.

I don’t recall her exact words, but she made references to “pussy” and I clearly remember her saying she was about to “cum” before she apparently did; just the kind of forced utterances that put me off of most professional, and even some amateur, porn.

Her saying the girl’s name aloud; it was either “Alexandra” or “Alexandria”; and pronouncing almost everything with perfect school-taught enunciation, as she typically does, only made it sound more forced, or faker, than it already would’ve.

It was the sound of that bed, not to mention the other girl’s comparatively natural-sounding moaning on top of it, that turned me more on than off. Tiara must’ve been fucking her with a strap-on dildo to make it creak and the walls rock like that.

I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall in her room. We lived in a college-dorm-like apartment with one or two other people. Tiara, a girl I know in real life, is cute enough despite her boyish (stud/dyke) look. I soon realized the other girl looked even better.

She was a much cuter Asian girl. I found that out when, I think because I yelled some kind of funny joke to let them know I heard them, she followed Tiara into my room. Tiara was grinning and apparently they’d both just orgasmed, so they were slightly out of breath.

“Hi Tiara and Tiara’s girlfriend,” I said before Tiara could get a chance to introduce us. She made it seem like that grin came out of embarrassment, but I think it was mostly pride; not the fake pride “LGBT” people parade about but actual pride.

The Asian girl reached out to shake my hand. I remember being sort of surprised, and majorly disappointed, that her hand wasn’t wet. It was little, soft, warm and inherently sweet; I really wanted to fuck this girl myself, with a real dick; but not wet.

Thinking about the dream, I don’t know why I expected her hand to be wet. I guess I figured she had just fingered Tiara’s pussy, but the bed sounds suggested her hands were either out to her sides or on Tiara’s back, so that wouldn’t have made much sense.

2021 [ October 03 ]

a dream I had about watching My Girl in class

It must’ve been a short class as we watched My Girl; the Macaulay Culkin movie; for what seemed like the third day. It was playing on a TV on one of those rolling stands at the front of the classroom and we were apt to pay attention because the teacher would give us daily quizzes on it.

The movie seemed to be on a montage scene when I arrived relatively early that day to find that, much to my delight, the seats; we had black chairs as opposed to traditional school desks; farthest to the back and closest to the window were empty, which meant I got to sit in the very last one.

I liked not being surrounded by people. Like most of the time in life, I just wanted to be left alone. Besides, while it was sort of embarrassing watching a kid romance movie with a bunch of people; it was a fairly large class; it was vital that I paid attention and got good grades on the quizzes.

2021 ( September 25 )

a dream I had about living in an apartment in Detroit

Perhaps that was me who looked like a cross between YZ, a rapper from the 1990s, and Doug E Doug; a young man striving to be the best school teacher in the world. I was already a teacher, in fact; if indeed it was me whose face I saw in this pleasantly cryptic dream; perhaps just a happy substitute at the beginning of his illustrious career.

I lived in a Detroit apartment that went from cluttered and congested to relatively spacious in what seemed like hours. I remember looking around at all the furniture and knick-knacks I’d collected over the years in a state of pride. “My home actually looks like a home,” I thought, maybe in those exact words, instead of a college dorm.

My suite, at least the early tiny of version of it, was on one of the mid-level to higher floors in a complex scarily and dangerously close to an airport. I could literally see the wings of the airplanes, taking off and landing, a few feet from my window. Never mind the noise they made. Knowing me, that was my trade-off for cheap rent.

The owner of the building used to be somewhat famous. He was either a former NFL player or a character from an old TV show. I can’t remember which, but I remember seeing him on TV, at present time in the dream, walking around a low-lit and seemingly vacant section of the apartment in some kind of local news segment.

Eventually the dream switched to the kitchen of the house I grew-up in. Frank was visiting. His mother had just put something white, or made something white we put, in the cabinet I don’t remember whether or not was there in real life before she died. We talked about the significance of it in regard to its sentimental value.

2021 ( September 04 )

a dream I had about having sex with Michelle Waterson

I guess I was married to her. Perhaps, since I wouldn’t under any realistic circumstance get married to even a cutie like her, assumably even in my dreams, I was the man she’s married to in real life. Either way, there we were in one of the bedrooms in our near mansion of a house.

It was the bedroom our kids slept in and I was lying in one of the beds as she stood beside me, asking what time our daughter woke up in the morning. It was as if she didn’t know because she was always or usually gone to work in the morning and I was more-or-less a househusband.

I started to answer; the kids were in the next room; when she cut me off with something like, “Or we can go in our room and wake up together.” That doesn’t really make sense and I don’t remember her exact words, but it ended with an emphasized “together” and she said it with a grin.

The implication was an invitation for sex with the excuse for the kids being that we were going in another room to give them theirs back; they seemed to be keeping their distance to respect the privacy of our conversation; to which I hopped up as her grin grew to a restrained giggle.

Since I was sort of Quantum Leaped into my role, I had no memory of having sex with her before; imagine all of a sudden waking up as the husband of someone you never met in real life; but I was damn-sure excited to have an opportunity as I followed her out of the kids room.

Michelle Waterson is an MMA fighter known as The Karate Hottie and that nickname is certainly fitting; a swift kick in the nuts with one of those Chun-Li legs wouldn’t break my instant boner; but I’d be lying if I say the anticipation didn’t come with a bit of performance anxiety.

I was being led hurriedly and hornily to the bedroom by a strong stamina-loaded athlete who also happens to be an attractive woman and I had to perform with no prep time. My dick saying no problem was the problem. I wasn’t worried about not being able to get up but keep up.

It wasn’t enough of a concern to stop me, but the pace slowed on its own as soon as we entered the bedroom. She had what looked like portable stove burners cooking breakfast; pancakes; presumably for the kids. “Oh, you brought me in here to work,” I said, feeling duped. She laughed.

2021 ( March 31 )

a dream I had about watching a movie that started to become real

I was watching a movie, a sort of horror movie, that started with a man entering a nice suburban house and killing the parent; I can’t remember if it was the mother or father; of a little girl. He shot them once at point-blank range in the head or the heart with a handgun that looked like it had a silencer on it. The kid saw it, started screaming and ran to another part of the house.

The man, who was on the phone with someone; the person apparently had no idea what he was up to; casually walked away from the dead body thru the house to where the cries of the kid were coming from. I’d wondered if he was going to leave or go after the kid and there was my answer. She was hiding on the floor of what seemed like a bathroom when he found her.

She lay there frozen, except for the fact the she was trembling, in fear as he put the gun to her head as casually as can be and squeezed the trigger. The tension released as the gun made a soft click noise. After the few seconds it took to realize she was still alive, she hopped up and ran out of the room. The man didn’t give chase. He simply began putting more bullets in the gun.

The girl ran out of the house. It had been night but switched to day as I imagined where I’d go if it were me. To my house next door, I thought, visualizing the one I grew-up in, which would mean the killing happened at my Grandma’s house. I could hide in the basement, but I changed my mind after considering how I’d be trapped if he followed me down there.

Suddenly the tone of the movie changed as the scene cut to what looked like an orangutan. That’s when I realized I’d seen this movie before. It was a sense of déjà vu that scared me as the ape, the fat face of which flashed in extreme close-ups; my only levity was thinking how it looked like a fat black woman I used to work with; began to make Chewbacca-like noises.

At first all I saw was the movie, but at this point I could see the TV I was watching it on and all. I was in a house; not the one I grew-up in but a different one, a newer one, I assume I now lived in alone, which would explain my shock as what looked like a fat white woman walked in from outside. As I feared, the movie was, just as it did the first time I watched it, coming to life.

It wasn’t until the person walked over to the couch and sat down that I got a close look and realized it was probably a man; he looked to be in his 50s; dressed as a woman. “I live in California,” it said, flickering like a hologram from Total Recall. “You live in California,” I repeated but in the form of a question as to confirm it said what I clearly heard it say. That’s when I awoke.

2021 ( February 17 )

a dream I had about my next-door neighbor and a bunch of dogs

I didn’t know it at the time, but it would’ve had to have been a dream because I’m not about to leave my front door wide open, especially on a warm day with insects flying around and neighbors walking by, in real life. Then again, the only reason I did it was because my next-door neighbor; the skinny white hippie girl I had a (sexual/romantic) crush on; was sitting in a chair just outside my door.

She was close enough to the left of it that I could see the right side of her body from inside my apartment. She was out there with her dogs, at least two. She either had them chained to her chair or was letting them run about and stopping them every time they tried to enter my apartment. I was going to tell her it’s fine to let them come in and out if they want, but I don’t think I ever got around to it.

Dogs did come in eventually, but not hers. It seemed her sitting out there with her dogs encouraged neighbor after neighbor to come out and walk by with theirs. Some of the dogs would run into my apartment, which I didn’t mind. I actually wanted the small ones to come in so I could greet and pet them, which I did before they ran right back out to get back to their outside fun as dogs do in real life.

This one guy; he seemed Asian; had a cat with him. I thought it was a dog when it first scurried toward me but realized it was a big fluffy cat when I reached down to show it some love. The weirdest part of the dream though is when a dog; it had a kid face but was furry and on all fours like a dog; actually talked to me. I’m not saying it barked. I mean it actually talked English like a human-being.

It asked “Can I have a cookie”, referring to some (Ritz-like) crackers I had on the floor, or “Can I have a cracker” and they were (sandwich) cookies. I don’t remember which, but he/she/it had it wrong. I told it that it had to ask its mother. I think it’s stupid how people refer to themselves as their pets parents, but it seemed more appropriate than “owner”. “Can I just have one,” it whined.

“You have to ask your mom”, I repeated with a grin of surprise as my cute neighbor and seemingly a few other people giggled along. It may have even asked a third time to which I would’ve just repeated myself again. It didn’t want to ask its owner, who was apparently far enough away not to hear our dialogue, perhaps because it figured it would be told no. I think that’s how the dream ended.

2021 ( February 04 )

a dream I had about a girl who was about to let me put my tongue in her ass

I think we were arm wrestling. At least that’s what it seemed like as we leaned on a desk or table of some kind, in a front-to-back embrace, with our arms wrapped together. Perhaps I had her in a chokehold. I don’t know, but I was behind her, jokingly taunting her as I dominated the exchange. She remained silent, perhaps with the exception of some inadvertent grunts, as she struggled to gain control.

The weird part of the dream, if that isn’t weird, is also the best part. For some reason; I guess just after our little competition, though it seemed like it was happening at the same time; I kept pulling down the back of her pants and panties, revealing the crack of her ass. I don’t know whether or not she was pretty; she was a black girl with dark brown skin; but, from what I could see, her ass certainly was.

She didn’t object to me playfully and repeatedly pulling her panties down, letting them go and watching the elastic waistband pop back up as she continued to lean on the table/desk. I was crouching a bit further behind her by then. She may have even shown signs of liking it, so I got down on my knees and pulled them further down till they held. I was just about to put my tongue in her ass when I awoke.

2020 ( December 15 )

a dream I had about living in a college dorm and seeing an enormous insect

I awoke to the sound of Shaunee talking about how we first met. I couldn’t see her; I was turned away from her with my head wrapped under a sheet and I think I still had my eyes closed; but I could tell it was her from the voice. I was lying on my side and she was lying behind me with her arms wrapped around me. We weren’t in any kind of romantic or sexual relationship, but it did turn me on the way she was hugging me with her mouth so close to my ear.

“I remember when I first met you,” she said before going on to explain that it was in the first grade, meaning the first level of elementary school after kindergarten, but I can’t remember what else she said. It seemed to be about being in a play or something. I don’t know, but I was fascinated. I cherish old school memories, enjoy being reminded of ones I forgot about and even intervened to tell her that, though I didn’t actually remember anything she said happened.

I don’t know if I went back to sleep or what, but when I eventually got out of bed, Shaunee was gone and there was a gay guy in the room or a skinny black guy whose mannerisms fit the gay guy stereotype to a tee. He even did the fake voice thing as he told me something about ordering pizza; he might’ve asked me if I wanted some; but I was too distracted by my repulsion as I considered the possibility that it was him, not Shaunee, who’d embraced me earlier.

Just then a white guy who seemed to have brown curly hair walked into the room. I can’t remember what he said to me, but it seemed he’d gotten upset with me not long before and was trying to explain why. I didn’t want to be bothered, but I listened as he talked, perhaps seeking an unlikely apology, even as we walked from that room to an area separated by what looked like a glass wall or partition with tables and more college-age people on the other side.

I was apparently a college student living in some kind of dorm. The room on the other side of the glass must’ve been some kind of eating or study area, though most of the students I saw were just standing around, conversing with one another and probably on their phones. I observed all of this in a matter of seconds as the guy continued to talk to me when, all of a sudden, I saw what looked like an enormous insect crawling from underneath one of the tables.

I don’t know if it was a roach, a cricket or what, but it was at least a foot long and seemed to be injured; perhaps someone had inadvertently stepped on it; as it crawled toward the room I’d awaken in where the partition stopped. That meant all it had to do was crawl around it to get to where I was, but the dream didn’t last that long. The last thing I remember is interrupting the guy. “Okay, but all I want to know is… what that is,” I think I said as I pointed at it.

2020 ( November 05 )