Imagine my surprise when I came home, or went outside, to see a row of huge sinkhole-like holes in the ground just outside my apartment complex. Each hole was somewhere between three to ten feet in diameter with a car or truck parked next to it. Each vehicle belonged to a tenant who stood beside it.
I could tell by the fact that my immediate neighbor and her vehicle were beside the newest hole that I was up next. I’d gotten the word, perhaps by said neighbor, that we could have whatever came up from our hole; whatever there may have been in the soil beneath after the excavator worker did his thing.
I was somewhat excited; apparently there were valuable items underground; as I walked briskly to my car to pull it around. I was also concerned; hesitant about the fact that I didn’t want all my, or any of my, neighbors seeing what car I drove. I’m a cynical person in general and didn’t trust them.
The next thing I remember is walking back, without my car, and seeing what seemed like dozens of neighbors on the ground. They were now near the middle of the complex. The holes were in the front where the lawn met the sidewalk. They were doing push-ups. Some were past coworkers from real life.
Lisa was there along with Bernadette; both fat women; the latter of which couldn’t even raise her arms, let alone midsection, during the so-called push-ups. She humped the grass as she let out an audile grunt for each rep. I laughed and asked what they were doing. Then I “but seriously” asked them why.
They said they were told to, implying it was more of a command than a suggestion. When I asked by who, they said the landlady. “Man, fuck that bitch,” I retorted, “I thought you were talking about the governor or something.” I may have said “mayor” but meant governor. Not that I would’ve stood for it either way.
As I continued to reprehend the landlady and her authoritarian ways, the others began to express their agreement. They stopped the push-ups and sat up as the momentum of the protest built. “Remember when she said don’t stand over there in the sun,” one woman yelled, “We should all go over there right now!”
There was a roar of agreement from the crowd as they stood up and dusted themselves off. I was leading the charge, with the woman who’d just spoke out, against our tyrannical landlord. I was new there but apparently the abuse had been going on for a while. Well, it was about to end. That’s when I awoke.
2023 [ September 17 ]