I was at Target, at the front registers, with a red box of Cap’n Crunch in my hand. It was on sale. I assume that because I almost never buy the cereal when it isn’t. I’d gotten the box from an out-of-section display, meaning they were stacked in an area other than the cereal aisle, possibly on an endcap. The problem was that I wanted more than one box and, while there were a lot more where I’d gotten it from, I’d forgotten where that was. I don’t know why I didn’t grab more than one at the time. I guessed I simply changed my mind and decided to get more after the fact. I was also looking for Frosted Flakes, which I think was always on sale, so that might’ve added to the brain fart.

I asked the cashier; a young brown-skinned girl with a round, relatively cute, face that might’ve had some acne on it; where they were. “They” meaning the Frosted Flakes. I don’t know why, but I don’t think I asked her about the Cap’n Crunch. She didn’t seem to know but grabbed the telephone, or microphone, and made an overheard PA-like announcement asking where they were. I don’t remember her wording, but she made it clear that it was for a customer and the ceiling speakers were loud enough for anyone in the store listening to hear. Then she did something that caught me by surprise. She handed me microphone to me, with a smile, as if she wanted me to talk. So I talked.

It was a total impromptu performance, an improvisation, with no forethought. I didn’t have time to plan-out what I was going to say. I just starting talking, in a soft nerdy voice for comedic effect. “Hi, my name is Marcel,” I think I started with, “And I love my Cap’n Crunch.” I could hear the customers around me erupt in giggles. I probably should’ve said Frosted Flakes instead. That’s what I asked her for and I think that’s what she asked about on the overhead speakers before handing the mic to me. But Cap’n Crunch sounded funnier, so, without having much time to weigh the two in my mind, I went with that. The response I got from the crowd affirmed my decision.

I went on for probably about 30 seconds, making an exaggerated proclamation about how much I love Cap’n Crunch, in the same funny voice, sounding almost like the Christian evangelist Robert Tilton, before making a plea for anyone who sees the cereal to bring some to the front registers. I’m not generally a live performance comedian, but I knew that not going on for too long was important, so I kept it brief, and it worked. I saw smiling people holding their phone cameras up to record me as I talked. When I finished, the whole store seemed to respond with laughter and applause. It was a nice cute spontaneous event. I awoke before anyone brought the cereal though.

2013 [ September 14 ]