“MDNA” is a clumsy abbreviation, but Madonna already made a self-titled album and I don’t think this one has any connection to that one, so, as bad of an idea as it was in 1983 when self-titled debuts were commonplace, it’s even worse now. Surely after Hard Candy, a title both sweet and fitting, she could’ve come-up with something better.

The good thing is that, with the exception of two features from pop music’s most annoying rapper; Nicki Minaj; the title is the worst thing about the album. The songs are typical Madonna, which isn’t bad. I didn’t say it was good; her teen-sing melodies are rarely catchy and her lyrics are trite all night; but it’s not bad, mainly because of the beats.

The “Queen” of pop has a thing for electronic dance music. That’s what I like about her. She surrounds herself with producers like William Orbit and the Benassi Bros. They provide her with music that pops and flares with thumpy drums, pulsating bass and snazzy synths. So it’s not hard to block-out lead vocals if necessary and just groove to the music.

The album’s coolest moment comes at the end of the Gang Bang song, which isn’t about what you might think. Madonna has kids now. She’s not nearly as erotic as she used to be, at least not in public. But she can still shock. “Now if you’re gonna act like a bitch,” she says, while holding a gun to her lover’s head, “then you’re gonna die like a bitch.” Dang.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012