Category: reviews with a 3 of 5 rating

audio review : BB Angel ( album ) … Tinashe

audio review : BB Angel ( album ) ... Tinashe

The worst thing about this project is the silly stylization of its title. “BB/ANG3L”, as it officially goes, is a trendy way of saying Baby Angel, which would’ve suited just fine. Not that these songs have much to do with religion or innocence. One, called None Of My Business, has the singer playing the role of side piece to a potentially married man.

At twenty minutes; about the same length as her Comfort And Joy Christmas set with the same amount of songs; this is more of an EP than the album it’s promoted as. The music is decidedly decent, but perhaps “D&B/ANG3L” would’ve been a better theme as the highlights; Gravity and Tightrope; interpolate drum and bass (jungle) beats.

my rating : 3 of 5

2023

audio review : Quantum Baby ( album ) … Tinashe

Reign : Orange Dreamsicle

Reign : Orange Dreamsicle

This Reign really does taste like a Dreamsicle. Or is it a Creamsicle? Either way it’s “inspired by the classic frozen treat”; an Orange Popsicle with vanilla (bean) ice cream on the inside. Why Orange? I don’t know, but the two flavors go well together.

They were one of my favorite treats as a kid, so this drink, which offers 300 milligrams of caffeine for “increased concentration” and “reduced fatigue” but no sugar, should be a nostalgic delight. The one drawback is its grimace-inducing carbonation.

my rating : 3 of 5

Palermo’s Rising Crust Breakfast Pizza

Palermo's Rising Crust Breakfast Pizza

It’s hard to go wrong with a Pizza if you stick to the basics. Palermo gets experimental and misses the mark with this one. It’s an interesting concept; Breakfast is generally my favorite type of meal; but the eggs basically ruin it. Swapping them out for pepperoni and adding in some traditional pasta sauce could make it good, but then it’ll be a regular pie.

my rating : 3 of 5

video review : Freddy Versus Jason

video review : Freddy Versus Jason

Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees are the two most iconic serial killers in the horror movie world, so the concept of putting them against each other is interesting to say the least. This is the chronological follow-up to Jason Goes To Hell; the ending of which hinted at what was to come.

Who wins the fight is basically beside the point. It’s the mere presence of the two trying to kill each other for a change that fans have been eagerly awaiting. Most of those people won’t be disappointed. There’s plenty of screams, kills, illogical narration, corny dialogue and bad acting to keep them entertained.

my rating : 3 of 5

2003

video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

video review : Wes Craven's New Nightmare

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare claws right thru the cinematic fourth wall to bring Freddy Krueger into real life. That’s done via Heather Langenkamp; the actress who plays Nancy Thompson. She, and her annoying son, are having bad dreams about the man who made her movie career a success. This is a horror flick about the horror flick you’re watching; an innovative epilogue for the franchise.

my rating : 3 of 5

1994

video review : Freddy’s Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]

video review : Freddy's Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]

While the series never managed to produce a good movie, this Final Nightmare comes back full circle to the decency of the first. The main difference is that this one takes itself less seriously as if it knows the franchise has descended into an illogical mess. It eases on the scares to allow itself to have some campy fun.

Freddy Krueger; “son of a hundred maniacs”; is almost entertaining as he cracks one bad wisecrack after another like a washed-up comedian who laughs at his own jokes because no one else will. He still knows how to kill kids in interesting ways though; listen for the hearing aid scene; and there’s actually a decent plot.

my rating : 3 of 5

1991

video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 [ Freddy’s Revenge ]

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 [ Freddy's Revenge ]

This is an improvement over part 1, but not by much. It relies more on close dialogue and careful pacing than bloody thrills and cheap scares, but, even without Wes Craven around to blame, it doesn’t result in anything more than standard slasher flick fare. By the end, when Krueger is in a psychophysical tug of war with a guy who’s been unwillingly recruited to kill for him, it actually gets kind of silly.

my rating : 3 of 5

1985

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 [ Dream Warriors ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 [ The Dream Master ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 [ The Dream Child ]
video review : Freddy’s Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]
video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street

A horror flick about a dead man who kills people in their dreams is an interesting concept, but rather than offering up an interesting narrative, director Wes Craven presents his boogieman almost on the strength of that idea alone. “He wears a weird hat and a red and green sweater,” says the girl with the overbite, “and he uses these knives like giant fingernails.”

It’s mostly to annoy us with the screeching sound they make when he slides them against metallic surfaces before slashing some kid to death. His name is Fred Krueger; the guy from “that old jump-rope song”. After being burned alive by parents angry because he avoided a murder sentence on a technicality, he’s back from the flames of Hell to continue his wrath of terror.

my rating : 3 of 5

1984

video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 [ Freddy’s Revenge ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 [ Dream Warriors ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 [ The Dream Master ]
video review : A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 [ The Dream Child ]
video review : Freddy’s Dead [ The Final Nightmare ]
video review : Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips : Original [ 40% Less Fat ]

Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips : Original [ 40% Less Fat ]

These are Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips made with “an extra spin in the kettle to remove excess oil for 40% Less Fat”. They’re supposedly “just as delicious as our classic chip”, but they’re not delicious. They’re harder, less crisp, than you’d expect; a matter made worse by the fact that they tend to come crumpled together, giving you no choice but to eat two or three at a time.

my rating : 3 of 5

Bang : Swirly Pop

Bang : Swirly Pop

This doesn’t taste like any Swirly Pop I’ve ever had. As far as Bang names go, it’s one of the most inaccurate. The flavor is more akin to some kind of fruit; Papaya Pop would’ve been more fitting; though the can makes sure to inform drinkers it “contains no fruit juice”. Neither is there sugar added; it actually includes an impressive amount of vitamins; which makes it healthier than candy.

my rating : 3 of 5

video review : The Ultimate Fighter [ Team McGregor Versus Team Chandler ]

video review : The Ultimate Fighter [ Team McGregor Versus Team Chandler ]

The most interesting parts of this show are the Fights themselves. Perhaps that’s a given, but, aside from star Conor McGregor and his antics, they’re also the only interesting parts. They come near the end of each episode as the Team members compete for a UFC contract; Chandler, though less of a personality, has better coaching skills; but (too) much of the time is spent on their mundane lives and families.

my rating : 3 of 5

2023

video review : Chris Weidman versus Brad Tavares at UFC 292

video review : Chris Weidman versus Brad Tavares at UFC 292

This loss wouldn’t be so bad if Chris Weidman wasn’t so delusional during the promo interviews, claiming to be in his “prime” and such. He’s never looked worse. Whether that has more to do with him coming back from a devastating leg break, “ring rust” or the fact that he’s nearly 40 years old is the question. Brad Tavares and his leg kicks; how crazy would it be if he broke his kicking Weidman; also come into play.

my rating : 3 of 5

2023