Category: reviews with a 3 of 5 rating

audio review : Raven ( album ) … Paula Cole

audio review : Raven ( album ) ... Paula Cole

Paula Cole is best when she’s bawling like a lunatic. Those moments are typically the highlights of her albums and this one is no exception. Billy Joe and Imaginary Man are decent, but it’s the office sex fantasy where she plays a naughty Secretary that flies highest. The song’s climax is intensely gratifying… or at least gratifyingly intense.

What this album would do better without are the short four-bar choruses, which could ruin an otherwise enjoyable song. A chorus should almost always go by eights. Not that this songbird needs music lessons from me. She and her band are masters at making cozy mood music. It’s just that sometimes that mood is kind of boring.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

audio review : Piece Maker 3 [ Return Of The 50 MCs ] ( album ) … Tony Touch

audio review : Piece Maker 3 [ Return Of The 50 MCs ] ( album ) ... Tony Touch

There should be exactly fifty MCs, or rappers, featured on this set; the third in a series of mixtape-style compilations from DJ Tony Touch; but there isn’t. My count, not including a spoken monologue by Angie Martinez, goes over fifty. That’s a major conceptual flaw as far as I’m concerned. If there are more than fifty MCs, in other words, what sense does it make to say “50” in the title? It’s a nice solid number, yes, but I see no logical reason to round down to it. The best thing would’ve been to simply limit the guest-list to 49.

That’s because Tony Touch starts the set with a verse of his own. He doesn’t have anything particularly clever or interesting to say; that’s actually the case for most rappers; but his drunken Puerto Rican flow makes it one of the best. Two of my favorite rappers; Eminem, who spit the best Piece Maker verse back in 2000, and Masta Ace; are also featured, but both disappoint. The best verse this time around comes from Papoose on Brooklyn with an honorable mention going to a surprisingly fresh KRS-One on The Bronx.

He rhymes “delay” more than once; he should’ve looked over his verse more carefully to make sure he wasn’t repeating words; but it’s still a relatively impressive verse. The Lox and members of the Wu-Tang clan also provide verses for the album. This is New York hip-hop music, so it’s no surprise that one of the best beats; the horn-laced banger on the aforementioned opener; is provided by DJ Premier. Another banger comes from Statik Selektah on A Queen’s Thing, a borough anthem by Action Bronson and Kool G Rap.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

audio review : Magna Carta Holy Grail ( album ) … Jay-Z

audio review : Magna Carta Holy Grail ( album ) ... Jay-Z

The title implies historic importance, but this sounds like just another Jay-Z album to me. That means fans of the rapper, at least the ones who aren’t particularly critical when it comes to hooks, should enjoy it while the rest of us are limited to bobbing our heads to the beats. Picasso Baby, fathered by an Adrian Younge sample loop, captures the grittiness of 1970s funk, but the chorus, or lack of, ruins the song. That’s the problem with most of Jay-Z’s albums and this one is no exception. I’ve been saying he has minimal song talent for years. His albums continue to prove my point.

This Holy Grail is better than Yeezus though, for whatever that’s worth. Kanye West is a better music artist in general, but he lost his imaginary crown on that one. Jay-Z, on the other hand, is no less of a king, or a “God”, than he’s been since his ego got big enough to make him think he is one. Being consistently lackluster, after all, is still being consistent. Not that there aren’t any highlights here. Somewhere In America, which features a clever “Instagram” line and a cute nod to Miley Cyrus, sounds good. Nickels And Dimes is also likable. Too bad it totally rips off a Gonjasufi song.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

video review : Hitchcock

video review : Hitchcock

The title suggests a full bio, but Hitchcock covers the life of the famous director only during the production of Psycho. It’s a movie about making a movie considered one of the best and most groundbreaking in cinema history.

Psycho went on to become Hitchcock’s most successful film. This behind-the-scenes retrospective, which spends too much time away from the on-set action to focus on his troubled marriage, is comparatively pointless.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

video review : Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee [ Season 1 ]

video review : Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee [ Season 1 ]

“You don’t have to have coffee,” Jerry Seinfeld says to Michael Richards, “That’s just the name of the show.” That conceptual inaccuracy doesn’t seem to bother Jerry, but it bothers me. If the comedians aren’t necessarily getting coffee, why say it in the title?

It’s a minor gripe though. The main problem with the show is that it isn’t particularly funny. It’s interesting watching celebrities interact like normal people and the non-diegetic jazz music makes for a cozy atmosphere, but the laughs are rarely warranted.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : Albert Einstein ( album ) … Prodigy + The Alchemist

audio review : Albert Einstein ( album ) ... Prodigy + The Alchemist

Prodigy’s real name is Albert, so he and Einstein share a first name. Prodigy isn’t nearly as educated though. His key learning experiences come not from school but from the streets of New York. He’s a thug and “thuggin” is what he does. So if you’re only interested in hearing thug music, this set shouldn’t disappoint. If you want good songs, you’ll have to go elsewhere. P’s skills are limited to rap. Even there, he’s far from “the world’s most hottest”.

What makes this album listenable are the beats, all produced by The Alchemist. It’s historically inconsistent, thus sort of stupid, to credit this as his album too when he’s only providing the instrumental music, but he is, to my ears, near the aesthetic level of acclaimed producers like Rza and DJ Premier. His music, a muddy mix of soul drums and eclectic samples, is dark and sinister; the perfect backdrop for a rapper like Prodigy to thug-out to.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

Peanut Butter Toast Crunch

Peanut Butter Toast Crunch

The taste of Peanut Butter Toast Crunch is, at least in comparison to it’s Cinnamon predecessor, surprisingly thus disappointingly bland. It’s made with real peanut butter, the fourth listed ingredient, but it’s not quite peanut-buttery enough. It’s certainly not sweet enough, despite its sugar coating.

my rating : 3 of 5

video review : Paranormal Activity 4

video review : Paranormal Activity 4

Cutesy interaction between a typical American family, along with the daughter’s boyfriend, are the most interesting parts of this movie; the newest in a series of what is supposed to be private Youtube-ready videos that happen to catch ghostly happenings like books and chairs moving by themselves.

It’s the paranormal activity, which revolve around the neighbor’s kid, not the family, that is supposed to be the star of the show. Instead, since it usually happens at night when nearly everyone is asleep or in the day when hardly anyone is around, it brings the plot to a comparatively dreary slowdown.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

video review : Paranormal Activity : The Marked Ones
video review : Paranormal Activity : The Ghost Dimension
video review : Paranormal Activity : Next Of Kin

audio review : Reincarnated ( album ) … Snoop Lion

audio review : Reincarnated ( album ) ... Snoop Lion

The worst thing about this album is that Snoop Dogg, known years ago as Snoop Doggy Dogg, changed his name to make it. This new change may be temporary, an alias to reflect his sudden switch from a “gangsta” rapper to a reggae singer, but it’s still silly and unnecessary. “Snoop Dogg” has a nice cool ring to it. “Snoop Lion”, which adds an awkward syllable and sounds like an ebonical way of accusing Snoop of “lying”, sounds comparatively stupid.

The songs are better. Not better than most of his Dogg songs; albums like The Blue Carpet Treatment and Doggystyle trump this one easily; but better than the name. Memorable vocal melodies are hard to find; the Fruit Juice and Smoke The Weed anthems are downright annoying; but the beats are convincingly groovy. Though Snoop often forgets to fake a Jamaican accent, this is, for what it’s worth, real reggae music. It’s just mediocre reggae music.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

video review : Seven Psychopaths

video review : Seven Psychopaths

Seven Psychopaths isn’t so much a movie about seven psychopaths as it is a movie about a movie about seven psychopaths. That is if merely being a brutal murderer qualifies a person as such. I’d argue that, outside of the pop-based pseudoscience known as psychology, it doesn’t. But that semantic debate is beside the point.

The plot reels you in from the start with two mob-style killers engaging in an interesting dialogue and never really gets boring from there. It never really gets particularly enjoyable neither, let alone as clever as it aims to be. Billy Bickle, a source of comic relief in a movie that would do better without it, is annoying. The dog is adorable.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : Of The Heart Of The Soul And Of The Cross [ The Utopian Experience ] ( album ) … PM Dawn

audio review : Of The Heart Of The Soul And Of The Cross [ The Utopian Experience ] ( album ) ... PM Dawn

Prince Be sounds like an estranged member of De La Soul, but he does more than rap. He also recites poetry and sings. It’s that latter skill layed over lush contemporary soul music that makes his songs easier on, if not more pleasant to, the ears.

If people have Heart and Soul, this is, on some aesthetic level, hearty soul music. Be, given his allegiance to The Cross, would probably attribute its tranquil vibes to his Father. The song dedicated to that God is spiritful and enchanting.

A warm Heavenly atmosphere seems to be the goal not just for After I Die but most of these songs. Memory Bliss owes its life to a Spandau ballet and Mirrors invokes the passion of Michael Jackson, but most of this album is refreshingly original.

my rating : 3 of 5

1991

audio review : Blackout [ White Noise ] ( EP ) … Booka Shade

audio review : Blackout [ White Noise ] ( EP ) ... Booka Shade

Chelonis R Jones adds nothing of value to this set. In fact, he takes value away. His vocals, presented upon both versions of the title track as a dub blend of sorts, are annoying and distracting. It just sounds like some random gay guy talking nonsense over thumpy house grooves.

My only other major complaint is that the Karrera song is already included on the Haleshop EP released just a few months ago. Otherwise the music is typical Booka Shade, which typically isn’t a bad thing, especially if you happen to be night-outing on a crowded dance floor.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013