Category: reviews

audio review : Such Pretty Forks In The Road ( album ) … Alanis Morissette

audio review : Such Pretty Forks In The Road ( album ) ... Alanis Morissette

Alanis Morissette has long lost the quirky charm she exuded when she first transitioned from just another Canadian singer to a Jagged Little Pill rammed down the throat of the pop music world. That album, one of the biggest-selling ever, was 25 years ago. She’s had plenty of time to mature; she started as a teenager; now she’s in her mid-40s; and these new songs reflect as much.

“Take me back in time,” she demands on Sandbox Love before engaging in post-traumatic sex that’s “awkward as fuck”. It’s lyrically and sonically about as close to the artistic edge as she gets here. Most of the other songs stay near the middle of The Road. The album ultimately comes across as sad and desolate even when she’s Smiling; a “crash” survivor that’s too damaged to feel Pretty.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

audio review : The Curb Commentator [ Channel 2 ] ( EP ) … E-40

audio review : The Curb Commentator [ Channel 2 ] ( EP ) ... E-40

It’s disappointing to hear E-40 jump on the BLM bandwagon. “Racism is heavy; it still exists,” he complains, but he only focuses on white people, ironically enough, when black people are just as racist. Racism isn’t exclusive to certain races. Neither is violence, but he ignores “black on black crime” to cover “police brutality”, which, in the mind of a black racist, automatically means the white cop is racist when the victim is black. That said, Channel 2 is what Donald Trump would call fake news.

Conceptual disagreements aside, this second Curb Commentator EP is about as decent as the first one if not a little better. The aforementioned race anthems, Black Is Beautiful And The Funk Is Still Pending, are on-point musically. The latter has a weak hook, but the rapper makes up for it by talking during the breaks, which he should do more often. The best song is Born In It, featuring Chippas and Milla, which does have a good chorus. It’s about growing-up in the inner city.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

Orville Redenbacher’s Gourmet Popping Corn : Naturals [ Simply Salted ]

Orville Redenbacher's Gourmet Popping Corn : Naturals [ Simply Salted ]

The concept of Naturals popcorn, or popping corn as Orville Redenbacher prefers to say it, is that it’s made with “real” ingredients. This Simply Salted variety is just that; salted popcorn with palm oil and vitamin E for freshness.

What’s a bit surprising is how little butter and other usual additives are missed. While not quite “delicious” as claimed in the promo, this Gourmet Popping Corn does provide “whole-grain goodness” when it comes to taste.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : Folklore ( album ) … Taylor Swift

audio review : Folklore ( album ) ... Taylor Swift

If there’s a sense of Folklore surrounding Taylor Swift, it’s high school alumnae gushing to their acne-ridden successors over her “like amazing” musical talent. I’m much less impressed. She has some good songs, including False God from her previous album, but they’re far and few between. Her music is mostly middling and this album is no exception.

With Aaron Dessner and Jack Antonoff at the helm, it’s a solemn; in one case Illicit; affair. This isn’t pop music in the loud electro-synth sense. Taylor Swift tips a hat to her country and western roots on the opp-gender love ballad Betty, but these are mostly “like folk songs”, which makes for easy listening. It’s also thoroughly unremarkable and a little bland.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

audio review : Evermore ( album ) … Taylor Swift

audio review : Outrageous ( song ) … Paul Simon

The best parts of this quasi-rhapsody come near the end when the chorus question is finally answered. “Who’s gonna love you when your looks are gone,” it goes, “God will like he waters the flowers on your window sill.”

Paul Simon also compares using that same rain water to wash your face a “blessing”, which I guess makes this a fitting choice for the Christian rock genre. It sounds more like a gritty Bob Dylan song during the verses though.

my rating : 3 of 5

2006

audio review : Surprise ( album ) ... Paul Simon

audio review : Surprise ( album ) … Paul Simon

audio review : Surprise ( album ) ... Paul Simon

The real surprise is that after waiting six years for a new Paul Simon album, it arrives with only two good songs on it. The rest is decidedly decent like about half of the songs from his previous One. Perhaps it’s not such a surprise after all.

It seems that Paul Simon, one of my all-time favorite song artists, is simply losing his knack, which he’s had since at least the age of thirteen when he composed The Girl For Me; a romantic doo-wop ballad that easily topples anything here.

The focus now seems to be poetic words to rhythm. He’s as lyrically brilliant as ever, choosing his words carefully like that of a poet who expects to be quoted long after he’s dead, but catchy vocal melodies seem to be a thing of the past.

The “sonic landscape” of Brian Eno, which can go from easy rock to trippy jungle to cool space noise at a moment’s notice, is modern and fresh, but without interesting songs to wrap itself around, it just feels like boring background music.

The two good songs are Another Galaxy, about a girl who ditches her fiancé on their wedding day, and There Was An Ocean, which is best during its second verse where harmonious vocals and quirky bass jerks help bring it up from mediocrity.

my rating : 3 of 5

2006

Slim Jim : Mild

Slim Jim : Mild

Slim Jim is one of the best brands of beef jerky partly because of its signature skinniness, which enhances the taste. It’s delicious for sure, at least when you first bite into it; this Mild variety being my flavor of choice. The one major flaw is the way the skin has the tendency to clump after several chews.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : Lianne La Havas ( album ) … Lianne La Havas

audio review : Lianne La Havas ( album ) ... Lianne La Havas

Bittersweet, one of the best songs on this album, would’ve made the most fitting title for it, but any of these song titles would’ve been better than Lianne La Havas. That it’s confusing as to whether I’m referring to the artist or the album is a testament to why self-titled projects are almost always an awful idea, especially when it’s not even a debut.

This is her third full-length set and she’s still singing mostly about “love” to 1970s-style soul grooves. Those funky/lush soundscapes remain the best thing about her music. The singing; not her voice, which is husky yet soothing, but her melodies; is usually trailing behind. Read My Mind is a joy to listen to though, along with Paper Thin and Courage.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

video review : Undertaker : The Last Ride

video review : Undertaker : The Last Ride

The Last Ride bit references The Undertaker’s final WWE match, but there should be a question mark at the end. Many athletes get addicted to the thrill of performing for thousands of cheering fans and don’t know when or how to quit. Taker, my favorite wrestler almost since his 1990 debut, is no exception. At 55 years old and riddled with injuries, he still can’t manage to formally announce his retirement from the sport.

This behind-the-scenes documentary series, which, like most, would be better edited down to one lone project, chronicles his latter years, starting at his WrestleMania 33 bout with Roman Reigns. It stops just after WrestleMania 36 and, while compelling all the way; I lost interest in the kayfabe aspect of wrestling as a teenager but remain a die-hard fan of the shoots; it never stops feeling like an extended epilogue.

my rating : 4 of 5

2020

Rest Stop ( story ) … Stephen King

It seems people vomit in Stephen King stories for reasons that seem unlikely in real life. One is a “whore”, albeit a pregnant one, being beaten by her boyfriend or husband. The other is protagonist John Dykstra after attacking the man to protect the woman.

Dykstra is a novelist with an alter ego, a “literary werewolf” named Rick Hardin, whom he conjures in order to do the deed, but the point is lost on me. Rest Stop is technically well-written; Stephen King guarantees as much; but the plot doesn’t really go anywhere.

my rating : 2 of 5

Rest Stop ( story ) ... Stephen King

audio review : Charly ( EP ) … Max B

audio review : Charly ( EP ) ... Max B

Charly Wingate, better known as Max B, is still in prison and I still don’t know how he’s making what sounds like studio music from there. He’s supposed to be released next year. Perhaps he should’ve waited till then to release these songs, which sound like the start of what could be a damn good album.

I said “start”, but the order is off. Porno Music 2; a sequel that, without a careful comparative analysis, seems to match, if not outmatch, the 2009 original; should come later in the set. It’s song two of five, perhaps because of the “2”, but it should be song four or three. That’s my only major gripe here.

The lame title is more forgivable, especially when you’re distracted by a catchy chorus. This EP, which is better than the crowded House Money, confirms that Max B is still the best relatively famous rapper when it comes to singing hooks. He’s just warming up on the first song. It gets better from there.

my rating : 4 of 5

2020