Category: reviews with a 3 of 5 rating

audio review : Vicious Lies And Dangerous Rumors ( album ) … Big Boi

Vicious Lies And Dangerous Rumors ( album ) ... Big Boi

A “love” song about a girl Big Boi refers to as the Apple Of My Eye begins and ends with the sound of someone biting an apple. That’s one of many annoying bits sprinkled about what, depending on how you classify his Speakerboxx, stands as his second or third album, entitled Vicious Lies And Dangerous Rumors because short album titles aren’t zany enough. The worst of those bits has a man ranting about boys who focus more on basketball than schoolwork. Even if you agree with his generalization, it’s his voice that makes him sound stupid. Nevermind the fact that the sermon seems to have no relevance in the context in which it’s presented.

Such flaws would be easier to forgive, or at least ignore, if the songs they’re mixed with were enjoyable enough to distract, but most aren’t. Big Boi’s music is quirky and fresh; while nowhere near my “top-ten” list, his rap skills aren’t too far behind those of his Outkast partner Andre 3000; but this sets lacks the appeal of his previous album. That’s most noticeable during the chorus sections. Most are decent; the rapper knows enough to recruit guest singers like Sarah Barthel of Phantogram; but the melody Wavves leader Nathan Williams provides on Shoes For Running sounds atrocious and the Thom Pettie hook hardly qualifies as such.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : Wu Block ( album ) … Ghostface Killah + Sheek Louch

Wu Block ( album ) ... Ghostface Killah + Sheek Louch

The title doesn’t really make sense. It’s a Wu-Tang Clan and D-Block (Lox) collaboration; Ghostface and Sheek are the prime members for this set; but the Wu Block moniker implies a Clan takeover. The title doesn’t linguistically represent both groups, in other words. It seems to favor Wu-Tang Clan over D-Block because the “Wu” is semantically equivalent to the “D”, not the “Block”. If you take out the “D”, it can be anybody’s “Block”, depending on whose name you put before it, just as it could be anybody’s “Clan”. If it were D Clan, the problem would go the opposite way.

Not that I’d expect either group to consider proper English. This is rap music for uneducated street thugs; the type of “niggas” who rob and shoot people when they aren’t selling drugs to them. The first song, as it goes, is a collection of Crack Spot Stories. It’s also one of the best because it’s one of the few that isn’t dampered by a tawdry hook. Stick-Up Kids, inspired by a tired Fat Boys catchphrase, and Been Robbed, which limits its verse space to just four bars, are particularly annoying. The only commendable chorus, in fact, is the one provided by guest singer Erykah Badu.

Sheek has become the best rapper of The Lox though. “My high school teachers, they said I wouldn’t be nothing; sitting on the bleachers,” he says, “Now I’m sitting in a Phantom, trying to figure-out the features.” Jadakiss and Styles provide guest verses for comparison’s sake. Other Clan members, and Cappadonna, are also featured. I would’ve liked to hear a verse from Rza, but Ghostface holds it down. He and Sheek Louch actually make a dynamic duo. When Method Man finishes their story about a shady “bitch” named Stella, he only distracts from their chemistry.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012
 

C. Gray :

Excellent review. I agree with you on all points. You almost have to “dumb-down” to listen to this album. There’s no intelligence on display, and the stories lack originality. Aside from a few catchy tunes, this is a disappointing collaboration.

R. Maia :

Really? Your critiquing the title. Would you prefer lox-tang? Wu-block makes sense and to be honest not even worth mentioning in your review.

video review : Get On The Bus

video review : Get On The Bus

Spike Lee invites you to Get On The Bus. Its passengers consist of about twenty men and a teenager, played De’Aundre Bonds overacting his role, headed to The Million (black) Man March; a potentially historic civil rights event held by Louis Farrakhan in Washington DC.

You don’t have to support the cause to enjoy the ride. There’s enough dynamic characterization to hold your attention for the most part. It’s when we start leaving the bus for conflict and drama during the movie’s second half that things go from good to not-so-good.

It soon becomes an emotional wreck. Imagine fist fights and father-son therapy sessions over contemporary soul music. Spike Lee deserves praise for including a new Michael Jackson song as the theme, but They Don’t Care About Us would’ve been a better fit.

my rating : 3 of 5

1996

video review : Home Alone 2 [ Lost In New York ]

video review : Home Alone 2 [ Lost In New York ]

Home Alone 2 may as well be a remake. That’s how close it follows in the footsteps of the original. It’s a formula starting with the McCallister family going on Christmas vacation and ending with them celebrating elsewhere after reuniting with Kevin. This time he gets left at the airport, which sends the family to Miami and Kevin to New York City. He’s Alone again, if one can ever be alone in New York City, but he’s not at Home, so the title no longer makes sense.

Once you realize you’re basically watching Home Alone again; different details with the same basic plotline; you start to anticipate the one entertaining part; the part where The Wet Bandits, now known as The Sticky Bandits, fall victim to Kevin and his booby traps. Even though you know how everything’s going to end-up, that climax does not disappoint. It’s still fun to watch those two idiots become real-life Looney Tunes characters before your eyes.

my rating : 3 of 5

1992

video review : Home Alone

video review : Home Alone

The climax of this movie, in which an eight-year-old boy booby-traps his house to prevent two burglars from robbing it while his family is away on Christmas vacation, is quite entertaining. He uses ice, tar, fire and whatever else he can find in the house to make even something as simple as walking up the stairs or turning a doorknob a dangerous experience for would-be-robbers.

In a more serious movie; one that doesn’t sugarcoat its violence in slapstick comedy; the two burglars, named The Wet Bandits because one of them likes to clog the sink and leave the water running when they rob a house, would probably be dead. Here they just hurt and humiliate themselves in amusing ways. There’s a scene involving a spider that’s actually hilarious.

What’s annoying is the boy. I guess he’s supposed to be cute and he might look cute, but the way he acts; the character and the actor who plays him; is the worst thing about the movie. When a Wet Bandit falls victim to one of his pranks, he celebrates with a “Yes!” When he glides across a sheet of ice to escape a policeman, he lets out an exaggerated “Wooah!” It’s just annoying.

With that, I think Home Alone would be better if Kevin’s character were presented in a more realistic way. I’d also like to see some background to how he’s able to come-up with such an ingenious Battle Plan. There are no scenes of him making booby traps before his family mistakenly leaves him Home Alone, which is an inclusion that would work wonders for the plot’s believability factor.

my rating : 3 of 5

1990

video review : Home Alone 2 [ Lost In New York ]
 

Ryan :

You’re joking, right? You wanted them to develop how he came up with his “battle plan?” Out of everything in this phenomenal, CLASSIC movie, that was what you found to be the most unrealistic aspect?

audio review : I’m Goin Out Lika Soldier ( album ) … Willie D

I'm Goin Out Lika Soldier ( album ) ... Willie D

Willie D is funny when he’s mad and yelling, and he’s usually mad and yelling. That’s why he’s my favorite member of the Geto Boys; a group he’s no longer a part of and might be at war with. If he’s Goin Out Lika Soldier, as the ridiculous album title insists, he’s a one-man army, but it’s best that way. When comrades arrive to Pass Da Piote, it makes for the album’s worst song.

The best or at least most entertaining; the set is scattered with clever comedy bits; are the ones on which he’s Goin off on (bald-head) hoes. There’s a diss about a Little Hooker named Choice and My Dick knocks pussy off the pedestal sexist society tries to put it on. Both songs are hilarious, but he goes the opposite way on Clean-Up Man; the anthem of a typical romantic.

When he’s not aiming at women, he’s taking shots at men; from Rodney King; there’s a whole song about how much he hates the motorist for being a racial “sellout”; to phony Gankstas to “weak-ass” rappers he wants to Die. By the end of the album, over a funky Average White Band sample, he’s put himself in a situation in which has to come-up with an Alibi for murder.

my rating : 3 of 5

1992

audio review : Cruel Summer

audio review : Cruel Summer

The hooks on the first two songs are annoying. R Kelly, for one, sounds silly stretching the word “world” out to so many syllables. Neither is as bad as on a song called Higher though, which is practically unbearable. There is “GOOD” music here, but most of it is confined to the actual music. The instrumental beats, even without Kanye West at the helm, thump with artistic flair.

The raps are neither here nor there; there aren’t really any stand-out MCs in Kanye’s clique; though feature verses from Ghostface Killah and Jadakiss serve as pleasant surprises. Song highlights include Don’t Like, an updated version of the Chief Keef song, which isn’t at all appropriate as the ending to an album that represents a record label he’s not signed to, Sin City and The One.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

A Stolen Life [ A Memoir ] ( book ) … Jaycee Dugard

A Stolen Life [ A Memoir ] ( book ) ... Jaycee Dugard

Jaycee Dugard was abducted at 11 years old. She lived with her abductors, a pedophile and his wife, for 18 years, but she wasn’t held captive all that time. That’s the problem with her story. She was a victim in June of 1991 when Phillip Garrido zapped her with his stun gun, put her in his car, imprisoned her in his home and started using her as his personal sex slave, but by the time Jaycee, now living under the secret identity of Allissa; a 29-year-old mother of two; was discovered by the police and reunited with her real family, she’d become willing participant. That she attributes to being “conditioned” as she tries to play the victim role to the end, but she’s full of shit. She had countless chances to flee; at one point, she strolls thru a crowded shopping mall without Phillip; but chose not to.

Her story is nonetheless an intriguing one. Her style of writing is sometimes childish and redundant, especially at the beginning, but the personal journals she was thoughtful enough to write over the years, which she apparently saved, help her do a fine job of revisiting the past. That is assuming all the details she includes; the rape scenes, which are the most interesting parts, are surprisingly graphic; are true. This is just one side of a long story. My only major complaints are the Reflection bits, which take the reader from a factual account of the past to a present-day psychological analysis in a jolt, and the fact that it should’ve ended at the Discovery And Reunion chapter; the ending of which is genuinely poignant. The rest could’ve and should’ve been summed down to a short epilogue.

my rating : 3 of 5

2011

Tootsie Roll

Tootsie Roll

Never had a Tootsie Roll? Imagine chocolate-flavored chewing gum you can easily swallow because it doesn’t stick together. That’s the basic consistency here. It’s a rolly taffy of sorts, not made with actual chocolate but with cocoa and sugar.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : Welcome To Our House ( album ) … Slaughterhouse

audio review : Welcome To Our House ( album ) ... Slaughterhouse

You can’t tell from the generic album title, but the Slaughterhouse rappers, even with weak link Joell Ortiz, can be a clever bunch. They hype themselves as the best rap group out now. If that’s true, it just means there aren’t any great rap groups out now, but there is enough lyrical skill between the four of them to make inviting songs that would otherwise turn you away. That’s literally the case with some of these songs as executive producer Eminem; a rapper who, once upon a time, would’ve easily outshined all four MCs; provides them with basically a tame collection of run-of-the-mill pop music. Rather than serve as a showcase for hip-hop; the only right direction to go with a group like this; the album seems to be made for the 2012 Billboard charts. A seemingly talentless Skylar Grey sings to emo Alex Da Kid beats. That fact alone flies in the face of what Slaughterhouse is supposed to be about. They may have “made it”, meaning heightened fame and fortune for four rappers who’ve never been far above the underground, but the Our Way claim rings false.

There is nothing essentially wrong with commercialized rap music. The popular bandwagon is often a fun ride. Eminem has proven that time and time again. This Slaughter-House simply isn’t a good place to be. Both D-12 albums are better for comparison’s sake and I don’t even like the second D-12 album. That isn’t much of a surprise though. Eminem has been off-track ever since he went against his own Relapse, my second-favorite album of his, and ditched the twisted artistry of his Slim Shady persona for a watered-down pop hits Recovery. Listen to his forced flow on this album’s title song, which does include a witty line about his daughter, and tell me it’s any better than “eh”. Not that he never shines anymore. The Asylum song, which he provides the chorus and beat for, is actually good. It’s only for the Deluxe version of the album though, which means it has no affect on this review. The highlights that do count, like the Coffin drums and lyrics that are great as opposed to just better than most other mainstream rappers, are few and far between.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

video review : Deep Impact

video review : Deep Impact

The premise is captivating. A huge comet is headed toward Earth and will hit in less than a year, which means most, if not all, people will die. It’s a extinction-level event; an “Ele”, as some unimaginative government official dubs it. But such a thing is hard to take in. Earth hasn’t had one since the dinosaurs, after all. So an MSNBC news reporter named Jenny Lerner carries on with her job, looking as lethargic as ever, as the end of the world grows near.

A decision she makes near that end is stupid, but it’s the boy who discovered the comet while looking thru a telescope in astronomy class who’s the ultimate idiot. His impeding doom is a secondary concern for him. He cares more about the classmate he’s fallen in love with. Time wasted on such trivial silliness instead of more hardcore realism; The President addressing the nation are the best parts; cushions the blow with a layer of schmaltz.

my rating : 3 of 5

1998

audio review : Havoc And Bright Lights ( album ) … Alanis Morissette

Havoc And Bright Lights ( album ) ... Alanis Morissette

I need brighter lights. I can’t see what made Alanis Morissette think these songs were good enough to put out. Most aren’t bad. There’s a love-women anthem for men that’s pretty repulsive and Til You is syrupy enough to make you sick, but the background ambience this album provides is nice and breezy.

Listen for the dreamy military drum section at the end of the title song. Producers Guy Sigsworth and Joe Chiccarelli do a decent job in that regard. What’s lacking are any hooks to latch on to. There are hooks; every song has a soaring vocal refrain; but they aren’t catchy. That’s where the real havoc lies.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012