I saw Hulk Hogan, of all people, just outside my grandmother’s old house, in the space her neighbor’s old house still stands to this day. It wasn’t there in the dream though. It was just an empty lot; a jungle-like area with lots of trees and plants; as if the house had been torn down and cleared away a long time ago. The Hulkster was sitting at a table or a booth with some kind of promoter guy, apparently to promote his new movie. There may have even been ads for it posted around the area and memorabilia right there ready to sell or give away.

I didn’t have my main video camera on me, but I had my new Fifth Generation “iPod” Touch, which has a “1080p” video camera built into it. So, once I walked by and realized I was actually looking at the real Hulk Hogan, with just a promoter guy and maybe a few people standing around him; no apparent bodyguards or fans to get in my way; I sprung into action. Getting a celebrity video for my site is a major thing, so I went over to him and, just in case he wasn’t in the mood for video, started-off by asking him if I could take a picture with him.

I told him that I was a big fan of his, that he and Michael Jackson were like my idols, which was a lie. The Michael Jackson part is true, but I never particularly liked or cared about Hulk Hogan. Not that I ever disliked him or anything. I just never really had negative or positive feelings about him one way or the other. I remember wanting to see his No Holds Barred movie as a kid, back when I was a WWF fan and follower, but that’s about it. I thought buttering him up with fake praise was the best way to get a picture with him, so I did.

It seemed to work. I could see him smiling behind the shades that covered not only his eyes but a lot of his face. He said yes, that I could take a picture with him, so I acted excited, which I was, but mainly because I’d have a photo with a big celebrity for my site. As I fumbled around with the iPod Touch, either Hulk Hogan or the promoter guy suggested we do a “picture-in-picture”, which, at-least in the dream, meant that we’d (somehow) both have the photo on our iPod or iPhone. Hulk Hogan had one too.

I didn’t like that idea because I was concerned about how I’d look in the photo. If I didn’t like the way I looked and it was just on my camera, I could simply not put it on the site or perhaps just cut me out of it. But if it was on his camera too, a lot people might see it either way. That was my logic in the dream. It would’ve been a concern in real life, but not a major one. Me having the photo on my camera would’ve outweighed any concerns about him having it on his. But in the dream, it was a major concern.

So I fumbled around with my camera, purposely now, pretending I didn’t know how to get to “picture-in-picture”. After several awkward seconds, I asked if I could interview him on video instead, which is what I really wanted to do in the first place. He said okay, so I rushed to the video part, which seemed much more complicated in the dream than it would be in real life. The Fifth Generation iPod hasn’t even been released yet. But I plan to buy one as soon as it is.

By the time I got the video recording and the camera pointed at his face, which only took a few (more) seconds, his whole demeanor had sort of changed. Perhaps he was putting on a character act for the camera; I consider that possibility only in retrospect; but he was no longer smiling. So I didn’t waste any (more) time. I threw-out my first interview question. I can’t remember what it was, but it was basic question, which I thought was a good way to start. He didn’t answer it. He just looked at me. All of a sudden, he had a bad attitude.

I think I revised it for him, but he still wouldn’t answer. He wasn’t silent though. He grumbled and complained about it not being a good question. So I think I asked another one; a different one; to which he responded in the same way. He said somthing about my questions not being relevant, that he was there to promote his movie. When I heard the word “movie”, I jumped on it. “Okay, the movie, yeah, whatever,” I might’ve phrased it, which meant that whatever subject he wanted to talk about was fine with me.

I asked him a question about the movie and I can’t remember exactly what he said, but it obvious that the interview had fallen apart. He didn’t answer my question and may have even chastised me to the promoter guy. All I know is that I continued to record him as I backed off. What was happening; conflict as the result of Hulk Hogan being a jerk; was probably more interesting than a proper interview would’ve been anyway. Once I got about twenty or thirty feet away from him; I might’ve even counted aloud for comedic effect; I started talking shit back to him.

“Fuck you, Hulk Hogan,” I think I yelled, “Fuck you, your wife and your kids!” I just started throwing insults at him, about being old or whatever else I could think of, as he yelled back at me, probably threatening to beat my ass if I came back over to him. I wasn’t going to do that though, not even for the site. Though I was yelling at him in a jokey sort of way; it was obvious I wasn’t really angry; he seemed to be genuinely pissed-off, if only a little.

It wasn’t until I’d gotten all the way over to the front of my old house, which stood on the opposite side of my grandmother’s house, that the promoter guy and a few of his people caught-up with me. They were smiling and laughing. He started praising me for what just happened. He might’ve said it was “awesome” before agreeing with me about Hulk Hogan being an “asshole”. The Hulkster was no longer in view, so, even though the camera was still recording, he started freely insulting him. The whole thing was funny.

2012 ( September 26 )