video review : 3 From Hell

video review : 3 From Hell

When I first heard Rob Zombie would bring back The Devil’s Rejects after they went out like Thelma And Louise nearly a decade and a half ago, I figured it would be some sort of prequel. This isn’t. It’s a bona fide sequel featuring the original members with one disappointing caveat.

While all 3 Rejects are here, Captain Spaulding, the most enthralling, is limited to a cameo role. That’s reportedly the result of real-life health problems. The actor, Sid Haig, is 80 years old. He’s replaced by a less interesting brother of Otis, who helps him (Otis) escape from prison.

That’s one of many blatant implausibilities happening in this movie, including the fact that the Rejects are still alive in the first place, though it’s Baby’s escape that’s most absurd. Once the new trio is set, the plot starts to get good, but by then it’s almost at the halfway point.

The best parts are still the kills; what I like most about Rob Zombie movies is the amoral depiction of brutal violence; but 3 seems incomplete without Cutter. A phone call in Mexico gives the peak dramatic suspense, but this is the worst movie in the Firefly trilogy.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

video review : The Lords Of Salem

video review : The Lords Of Salem

It’s the supernatural theme, which has to do with witches and Satan, that holds this otherwise interesting movie down. The best parts are when humans engage in normal conversations, albeit often about said abnormal topics. When creatures appear and the horror begins, mostly in the form of abstract cutaways revolving around a radio DJ named Heidi, the plot grinds to a bloody halt.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

video review : Halloween

video review : Halloween

The Halloween series resets itself again, this time all the way back to the 1978 original. It’s a remake by Rob Zombie and easily the best movie in the franchise. That’s mostly due to the liberties it takes with the plot, a third of which focuses, close-up and shaky, on “Mikey” as a psychopathic child.

Character backstories are usually best left untold, or at least kept to a minimum, especially the enigmatic Bogeyman type, but the case study of Michael Myers, led by Malcolm McDowell as doctor Samuel Loomis, lends a layer of poignancy to the later kill scenes. It also explains why he wears the mask.

my rating : 4 of 5

2007

video review : Cujo

video review : Cujo

Being trapped in a broken-down Pinto for several hours with a rabid dog trying to kill you every time you try to get out is bad. Having a dying kid with you is even worse. That’s the situation Fonna Trenton finds herself in one hot day.

The movie should be mostly that, but it isn’t. The car doesn’t break down, thus the suspense doesn’t begin, until pass the halfway point. Everything before comes across as a prelude involving Donna’s irrelevant marriage troubles.

my rating : 3 of 5

1983