audio review : Don’t Let It Get You Down ( song ) … Fine Young Cannibals

The beginning of the second chorus section is out of sync. “When my plans,” it starts, but Roland Gift says it a little too fast. It’s a technical flaw that could’ve been fixed with a redo or post delay. How it got by, after being either ignored or accepted by the people involved, and made it onto a major album release is beyond me.

The rest sounds fine. The techno beat is mixed at a considerably lower volume than the vocals, which is abnormal for the genre, but it doesn’t bother me. I’m more bothered by the fact that I’m not bothered by Roland Gift’s homoerotic falsetto. In fact, I like it, especially when he screams the title phrase like a mad woman.

my rating : 4 of 5

1989

audio review : The Raw And The Cooked ( album ) ... Fine Young Cannibals

audio review : Naughty Girl ( song ) … Beyoncé

Beyoncé’s just arrived at the party. She’s “feeling sexy” and she wants everyone to know, especially the boys she insists on flirting with by offering not only rhythmic movements but also empty promises for later tonight.

The beat is hot enough to get any urban club jumping, while the vocals work around it effectively if not too closely at times. The best part is the chorus though, where she declares that she’s “all yours” tonight. Yeah right.

my rating : 3 of 5

2003

audio review : Let’s Get It On ( song ) … Macho Man Randy Savage

The best part of this song is the beat, which works with a sort of hip-hop rock chemistry. It takes amatuer production to new heights with everything from the crunch snare to the addition of coliseum-inspired horns and automated crowd cheers where applicable.

Over the music, Randy’s laughably simple raps don’t sound as bad as they should. By the second verse, where he declares “It’s not wise to mess with Randy cause you’ll catch a beat-down to the third degree”, you’re actually bobbing your head and getting amped to it.

my rating : 2 of 5

2003

audio review : Something About The Name Jesus ( song ) … Kirk Franklin ( featuring Rance Allen + Men Of Standard )

What is Kirk Franklin talking about? You can’t do much “dancing” to this song. You can sway from side to side with your arms up in the air though, which I guess is a form of dance. It’s more of a praise song about a guy named Jesus.

“It is the sweetest name I know,” these Christians claim. I’d personally beg to differ. “Jeff” is a sweeter name to me. I generally prefer names with one syllable. Their fanatical declarations do, however, float upon clouds of sweet melody.

my rating : 4 of 5

1998

audio review : Bollywood ( song ) … Liz Phair

Record companies are all about making money, Liz implies, even at the expense of their own artists, but her point is lost in the wackiness of this song, which sounds more like an experimental skit of sorts.

There are crazy sounds mixed in for comical effect, but none of it works. Perhaps it’s intentionally bad. Maybe she wants to never get signed to a label again. If that’s the case, she’s on the right track.

my rating : 1 of 5

2010

audio review : Bollywood ( song ) ... Liz Phair

audio review : Love The Way You Lie ( song ) … Eminem ( featuring Rihanna )

What’s bad is that Eminem, who has the potential to be one of the edgiest rappers in the world, is down to making generic love songs. What’s worse is that he’s decided to recruit the singing voice of Rihanna; one of pop music’s most annoying.

This is a song about a romantic relationship gone wrong; “wrong” in the sense that everything isn’t all right like it was when the guy and the girl first met. They’re fighting now, verbally and physically, only to kiss, make-up and fight again the next day.

It’s a love-hate situation with masochistic undertones; something celebrity gossip suggests both Eminem and Rihanna are familiar with. And I’d bet it happens more often than most couples would be willing to admit. But who cares. This song is boring.

Eminem’s forced delivery is bland and tiresome, especially when he’s playing the role of a pussy-whipped boyfriend involved in a domestic quarrel I couldn’t give a fuck less about. The music; maudlin rock-hop produced by Alex Da Kid; does little to help.

my rating : 2 of 5

2010

audio review : Recovery ( album ) ... Eminem

audio review : Lil Ghetto Boy ( song ) … Snoop Dogg ( featuring Dr Dre )

This begins with a short clip presumably recorded during the LA riots of 1992. The man; a black man; says he’d give his life if it means that a single African (child) will have a (successful) future. It’s an extreme claim, one he’d probably dismiss as metaphorical if there were a way to take him up on the offer, but I appreciate his compassionate, which sets the mood for the song. He even uses the word Lil to describe the boy.

It’s a politically-driven anthem that’s not just about but also dedicated to African-American boys who basically grow-up on the streets because their mothers, the hoes who spent years fucking random “niggas” and having babies out of wedlock, don’t have the education or means to raise them right. That’s “right” in a moral sense. The neighborhood thugs take on the role of the father, creating a downward spiral effect.

Snoop Dogg narrates from the first-person perspective about being in jail after catching a murder case, which Dr Dre follows as a man released from prison after serving a long sentence only to get back into the same kind of trouble that got him locked away in the first place. The third verse, by Snoop, is unnecessary, but it’s a deeply effective song with catchy chorus vocals and a magnificently out-of-place jazz flute.

my rating : 4 of 5

1992

audio review : The Chronic ( album ) ... Dr Dre

audio review : Stay In My Corner ( song ) … The Dells

This song; a romantic and soulful plea conceptually hinted by, of all things, the sport of boxing; doesn’t really get sweet until about the half-way mark. That’s when it finally settles on a steady melody and the vocal ad-libs, which include one classic falsetto and an awesomely big “baby”, are set free over soaring love horns.

my rating : 4 of 5

1965

audio review : 2 Bitches ( song ) … Too Short

A wild sex orgy isn’t out of the ordinary in the life of a pimp “nigga”; a fact Too Short throws in your face over a nasty Jazze Pha beat. This freaky tale centers around a threesome he initiates by taking a bisexual “bitch” to a strip club and asking which dancer she wants to fuck. She picks a chocolate one with a big booty and big tits. Long story Short, the girls end-up licking each other’s tits, navels, toes and assholes.

my rating : 3 of 5

2000

audio review : I’ll Take The Rain ( song ) … REM

“The rain came down,” Michael Stipe sings, thrice until he gets it right. Those first few bars are a preview of the subtle melody shifts to come. The song; a winter “love” song; doesn’t go full power ballad until the refrain, which soars high thru a backdrop of airy guitars.

my rating : 4 of 5

2001

audio review : Reveal ( album ) ... REM

audio review : Starter ( song ) … Street Life + Gza + Inspectah Deck + U-God ( featuring Sunny Valentine )

This is a pretty good song if you can get pass Sunny Valentine and his annoying chorus, which doesn’t sound as bad over a jazzy Rza beat with Tash Mahogany crooning softly in the background. It’s basically a love ode bursting with ghetto testosterone and sloppy metaphors. The concept has the rappers putting their girls on a sports team, which is about as romantic as Wu-Tang get.

my rating : 4 of 5

2007

audio review : 8 Diagrams ( album ) ... Wu-Tang Clan

audio review : If ( song ) … Destiny’s Child

The gorgeous piano backdrop gives the music an incensual vibe that suggests it could’ve been made in the 1970s. It was. It’s a looped sample from Natalie Cole’s Inseparable. The buzzkill can be found in the lyrics, specifically when a ghetto Beyoncé mentions “raggedy heffas”.

Still the music never disappoints. While building an entire song around an old soul sample is the sign of a lazy or uncreative producer, Rockwilder must be credited for not modernizing it with a hip-hop beat, which a romantical break-up song like this does better without.

my rating : 4 of 5

2004

audio review : Destiny Fulfilled ( album ) ... Destiny’s Child