This movie is awfully stupid. If you believe it’s really The Final Friday after watching them from the beginning, you’re even stupider. I wish it were. The series couldn’t go any further down the qualitative Hellhole. Jason, as we know him, barely shows up here because of the ludicrous folklore the plot conjures up.
my rating : 1 of 5
1993
There’s a character in this movie you’re supposed to dislike. He’s a teacher named Charles who’s grouchy to the point of caricaturation. It’s a prime example of a series that was only decent to begin with being handed off to talentless hacks.
Director Rob Hedden takes the blame this time around as he sends Crystal Lake killer Jason Vorgees to, of all places, Manhattan. It might be an intriguing concept, but it’s also somewhat deceptive. Most of the plot takes place getting there on a ship.
my rating : 1 of 5
1989
video review : Jason Goes To Hell : The Final Friday
video review : Jason X
“They say he died as a boy,” the narrator states, “but he keeps coming back.” That man is Jason Voorhees, of course, and the way the killer returns this time takes Friday The 13th to a New level of absurdity. The protagonist having magical (telekinetic) powers also kills any real sense of suspense when the two finally face off. Part 6 may be the best in the series. Part 7 may be the worst.
my rating : 1 of 5
1988
video review : Friday The 13th : Part 8 : Jason Takes Manhattan
video review : Jason Goes To Hell : The Final Friday
video review : Jason X
Another sequel, less than a year later, to what was supposed to be The Final Chapter is conceptually ridiculous. The actual movie; this is part five of what has become the Friday The 13th series; is even worse. It reverts to the campiness of Part 3; corny comedy and annoying characterization; but without a thrilling ending to balance it out.
my rating : 1 of 5
1985
video review : Friday The 13th : Part 6 : Jason Lives
video review : Friday The 13th : Part 7 : The New Blood
video review : Friday The 13th : Part 8 : Jason Takes Manhattan
video review : Jason Goes To Hell : The Final Friday
video review : Jason X
![Hormel Chili : Ghost Reaper [ World's Hottest Chili ]](https://marcellee.com/posts/138992.jpg)
Why so many people like to eat food that causes them pain is well beyond me, but here it is; the World’s Hottest Chili. It’s initially tasty, good or almost so, until the burn kicks in. Soon the Ghost Reaper arrives and you feel like you’re about to die. Yes, that’s what I want in a meal.
my rating : 1 of 5
You wouldn’t know from the title, but this is a sequel to The Shining. Both movies, based on Stephen King horror novels, are stupid, but this one is worse. The underlying concepts of telepathy and ghosts, which allow supernatural “magic” to happen seemingly at random, make for a plot that’s both silly and confusing.
my rating : 1 of 5
2019
Ellen Page is a woman. As a girl, she was actually quite cute; adorable even. Why she decided to alter her looks, going as far as to chop off her hair and tits, and pretend to be a man; Elliot Page; for the rest of her life is well beyond me, but it’s certainly an aesthetic tragedy.
As a female, her transformation makes her, at least for a straight guy like myself, unattractive to the point of repulsion, though it should be pointed out that growing older also plays a part in her degradation. As a male, at least a normal one, she doesn’t pass the piss test.
my rating : 1 of 5
2024
“Lady FBI agent” Lee Harker, played by Maika Monroe, is attractive. She resembles a younger version of Jennifer Lopez. There’s no other reason to watch this stupid movie; a horror flick about a serial killer who acts like The Joker and looks like Roc… Well, I’m not going to say who he looks like, but his name is Longlegs. Imagine Silence Of The Lambs but worse; a lot worse.
my rating : 1 of 5
2023 or 2024
KRS-One and Freddie Foxxx should’ve took their Time to make a better song. The verses, in which they have the nerve to brag about their skills and badmouth other (anonymous) rappers, are “lazy”. The same can be said for the beat; an amateurish production led by sloppy drums and a monotonous piano riff. The worst thing about the song though is the stupid hook.
my rating : 1 of 5
2011
You’d think they’d somehow found a way to make Seaweed edible when you see it packaged and promoted as Snacks, but no. These, despite being “roasted to light crispy perfection”, are as nasty as you’d otherwise expect. Teriyaki my ass. The taste is more akin to shit; thin sheets of freeze-dried feces; seasoned with powders and sugars.
my rating : 1 of 5
“Tears and flowers dry over time,” Paul ponders, “Memory leaves us; melody and rhyme.” He’s still Rhymin Simon, but his knack for melody left him a long time ago. It was 2000 to be precise when, after making his best albums in the 1990s, his inevitable decline began. I remember listening to You’re The One and being Surprised at how unremarkable his music had become.
These Seven Psalms, given his old age and the amount of time between projects, may be the final batch. The morbid concept certainly seems to suggest so. They’re Hebrew Bible songs about God and death; a thematic continuation of his previous (Stranger) album, which ended with the Insomniac’s Lullaby. It’ll be a sad day when Paul Simon dies, but he seems to be prepared.
It’s nonetheless his worst album if it can be considered as such. It’s described as a “seven-movement composition”; The Lord is resurrected in intervals as if the chorus to a very long song; “intended to be listened to as one continuous piece”. If the purpose were to put you to sleep, it would be a success. Paul Simon, singing over an acoustic guitar, has never sounded more lifeless.
my rating : 1 of 5
2023
This movie, about a psychiatrist being haunted by a ghost-like entity, won’t invoke many Smiles. Wasting your time watching rubbish is generally nothing to be happy about. Token casting and bad acting aside, it’s a horror flick of one of the worst kinds; in which the hallucinations of a potentially crazy protagonist are used as an excuse for a slew of hokey jump scares.
my rating : 1 of 5
2022
