Category: reviews

audio review : Magna Carta Holy Grail ( album ) … Jay-Z

audio review : Magna Carta Holy Grail ( album ) ... Jay-Z

The title implies historic importance, but this sounds like just another Jay-Z album to me. That means fans of the rapper, at least the ones who aren’t particularly critical when it comes to hooks, should enjoy it while the rest of us are limited to bobbing our heads to the beats. Picasso Baby, fathered by an Adrian Younge sample loop, captures the grittiness of 1970s funk, but the chorus, or lack of, ruins the song. That’s the problem with most of Jay-Z’s albums and this one is no exception. I’ve been saying he has minimal song talent for years. His albums continue to prove my point.

This Holy Grail is better than Yeezus though, for whatever that’s worth. Kanye West is a better music artist in general, but he lost his imaginary crown on that one. Jay-Z, on the other hand, is no less of a king, or a “God”, than he’s been since his ego got big enough to make him think he is one. Being consistently lackluster, after all, is still being consistent. Not that there aren’t any highlights here. Somewhere In America, which features a clever “Instagram” line and a cute nod to Miley Cyrus, sounds good. Nickels And Dimes is also likable. Too bad it totally rips off a Gonjasufi song.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

video review : Hitchcock

video review : Hitchcock

The title suggests a full bio, but Hitchcock covers the life of the famous director only during the production of Psycho. It’s a movie about making a movie considered one of the best and most groundbreaking in cinema history.

Psycho went on to become Hitchcock’s most successful film. This behind-the-scenes retrospective, which spends too much time away from the on-set action to focus on his troubled marriage, is comparatively pointless.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

video review : Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee [ Season 1 ]

video review : Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee [ Season 1 ]

“You don’t have to have coffee,” Jerry Seinfeld says to Michael Richards, “That’s just the name of the show.” That conceptual inaccuracy doesn’t seem to bother Jerry, but it bothers me. If the comedians aren’t necessarily getting coffee, why say it in the title?

It’s a minor gripe though. The main problem with the show is that it isn’t particularly funny. It’s interesting watching celebrities interact like normal people and the non-diegetic jazz music makes for a cozy atmosphere, but the laughs are rarely warranted.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

video review : The Call

video review : The Call

The ending, as far as movie realism goes, borders absurd. What happens in the final couple of minutes before the credits start is especially uncalled-for, but those silly plot twists aren’t quite enough to ruin what came before them.

The Call, about a 911 operator helping police find a trunked kidnap victim, is, for the most part, a thrill. The suspense hardly lets up until about the final third when the call and the realism of the plot suddenly get disconnected.

my rating : 4 of 5

2013

audio review : Albert Einstein ( album ) … Prodigy + The Alchemist

audio review : Albert Einstein ( album ) ... Prodigy + The Alchemist

Prodigy’s real name is Albert, so he and Einstein share a first name. Prodigy isn’t nearly as educated though. His key learning experiences come not from school but from the streets of New York. He’s a thug and “thuggin” is what he does. So if you’re only interested in hearing thug music, this set shouldn’t disappoint. If you want good songs, you’ll have to go elsewhere. P’s skills are limited to rap. Even there, he’s far from “the world’s most hottest”.

What makes this album listenable are the beats, all produced by The Alchemist. It’s historically inconsistent, thus sort of stupid, to credit this as his album too when he’s only providing the instrumental music, but he is, to my ears, near the aesthetic level of acclaimed producers like Rza and DJ Premier. His music, a muddy mix of soul drums and eclectic samples, is dark and sinister; the perfect backdrop for a rapper like Prodigy to thug-out to.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

audio review : Yeezus ( album ) … Kanye West

audio review : Yeezus ( album ) ... Kanye West

I like all four of Kanye West’s regular albums; his College Dropout debut and the three that follow a similar soundscape. Even when he’s sampling old soul songs, his music represents vintage hip-hop more than anything else. Yeezus, like 808s And Heartbreak, comes across as more of an experimental departure. There is romance and sex; at one point, he’s “eating” his girlfriend’s ass; but instead of 808 drums and Autotune singing, it’s dominated by fuzzy distortion and spacey effects. They penetrate almost every cut, which shouldn’t be a problem for anyone who appreciates the genres of techno. The problem, more than the fact that the rapper never really spits a proper rap verse; his flow these days consists mostly of chanty poetry; is the lack of a catchy chorus.

One could be a savior to any of these songs. Instead Mister West, once a humble student, simply says he’s a God over and over again, emphasizing the word “am” as if to taunt his detractors. They say his ego has gotten out of control, so he makes it even bigger and even if the “God” thing is just a lazy metaphor, he compares himself to “Michael” in what seems to be an earnest assertion. If he’s referring to Jackson or Jordan, even Tyson, he’s delusional. He’s talented, but not as talented as he seems to think, so when he releases what sounds like a demo album void not only of melodic hooks but boom-bap beats, he leaves much to be desired. Too much of the music is soulless and spiritless. The Blood and Bound vocal samples are annoying. Yeezus gets no praise from me.

my rating : 2 of 5

2013

audio review : The Wack Album ( album ) … The Lonely Island

audio review : The Wack Album ( album ) ... The Lonely Island

The main problem with this album, entitled The Wack Album because insulting yourself lessens the impact of other people insulting you, is that it isn’t funny. That would be okay for most artists; some of my favorite songs are depressing; but The Lonely Island, a pseudo-rap trio who got their start on Saturday Night Live, are all about comedy. The ultimate goal here, beyond rhyme and rhythm, is to make you laugh, without any outrageous visuals to help in the process. But that goal fails with me. There are some smirk-worthy lines sprinkled about, but, as hard as it tries, almost nothing on this album makes me laugh.

These guys, if I’m judging them on what I’m hearing here, are creative but not particularly clever, ambitious but not particularly talented. Most of the beats, with a few cool exceptions like Perfect Saturday; a funky 1970s-style disco joint that should’ve been reserved for a real song by real rappers; are hackneyed. Most of the lyrics, or the jokes, are corny. A wack album? Not quite. Go Kindergarten, a mock club anthem, is, intentionally or not, a dumb noisy mess. Diaper Money is just plain stupid. But “wack” is reserved for the worst and this album, I imagine, could be a lot worse. Wacky, in a not-funny sort of way, is more like it.

my rating : 2 of 5

2013

Peanut Butter Toast Crunch

Peanut Butter Toast Crunch

The taste of Peanut Butter Toast Crunch is, at least in comparison to it’s Cinnamon predecessor, surprisingly thus disappointingly bland. It’s made with real peanut butter, the fourth listed ingredient, but it’s not quite peanut-buttery enough. It’s certainly not sweet enough, despite its sugar coating.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : You Rock My World ( song ) … Michael Jackson

The prelude; Michael Jackson and Chris Tucker having a conversation about a girl they’re supposedly looking at, though there isn’t any background noise to help set the scene; is like the skit at the beginning of Black Or White. It may be funny initially, but it’s replay value is nowhere near that of the song it introduces. Listeners of the full versions of these songs may, in other words, find themselves skipping past, or at least zoning-out on, the first several seconds. That means the songs would be better without their preludes. In the case of You Rock My World, the title of which doesn’t come across nearly as corny as it should, the song would also make more sense without it. The dialogue implies that the girl is a total stranger to both Chris and Mike, but the lyrics have Jackson already romantically entwined with her.

“It feels like I’ve finally found a perfect love this time,” he insists before going into one of his best choruses yet. “You rocked my world; you know you did,” it goes, utilizing a harmonic vocal stack similar to Ghosts, “Who’d think I’d find someone like you to call mine?” The words are trite; they read like a high school crush poem; but the vocal melodies, even on the verses and bridge, are quite awesome. The music, highlighted by dramatic strings where applicable, is a slinky soul groove that goes back to the relative timelessness of the Thriller album. Despite an unnecessary break near the end; the ad-lib peak section should take the song out; it’s producer Rodney Jerkins at his best. It’s not Michael Jackson at his best, but it’s damn close. And if the quality of this love theme is any indication, I’d guess he got the girl.

my rating : 5 of 5

2001

audio review : Invincible ( album ) ... Michael Jackson

video review : The Shining

video review : The Shining

A mother and son trapped at an empty hotel with an axe-wielding killer are the ones I’m supposed to be rooting for, but I’m hoping he chops them both to bits. Then I’ll no longer have to look at their asinine facial expressions. They’re supposed to be terrified; the hotel is also haunted by ghosts; but director Stanley Kubrick exaggerates the fact. Their grimaces alone, especially in the case of the mother; the pathetic victim type horror flicks thrive on; take away from any realism The Shining has to offer.

Worse yet is the plot, which, due to its reliance on paranormal activity; Shining is apparently a form of telepathy; is often nonsensical or, at best, confusing. Is Jack going crazy or is he really seeing ghosts? That seems like a valid question until his wife starts seeing them too. The answer should be that he’s not going crazy, but he obviously is, so it must be both, which is convenient for the plot as it’s now allowed to throw logic out the hotel room window in favor of creepiness for the sake of creepiness.

my rating : 2 of 5

1980

video review : Paranormal Activity 4

video review : Paranormal Activity 4

Cutesy interaction between a typical American family, along with the daughter’s boyfriend, are the most interesting parts of this movie; the newest in a series of what is supposed to be private Youtube-ready videos that happen to catch ghostly happenings like books and chairs moving by themselves.

It’s the paranormal activity, which revolve around the neighbor’s kid, not the family, that is supposed to be the star of the show. Instead, since it usually happens at night when nearly everyone is asleep or in the day when hardly anyone is around, it brings the plot to a comparatively dreary slowdown.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

video review : Paranormal Activity : The Marked Ones
video review : Paranormal Activity : The Ghost Dimension
video review : Paranormal Activity : Next Of Kin

video review : The Blair Witch Project

video review : The Blair Witch Project

Three filmmakers travel into the woods of Burkittsville (Maryland) to investigate folklore about a local witch, and watching them blab and bicker is interesting enough. It’s when they get lost trying to find their way back to the car that things start to get captivatingly gloomy. All the additional dread, the “witch” stuff, sort of goes against that fact. Being lost in the middle of nowhere, in the cold with a minimum amount of food and water, is scary enough. That alone should probably be the gist of the plot. Being taunted and haunted by evil spirits every night nears conceptual overkill; especially when one of your companions disappear, leaving just one other person between you and the kind of lonely dread that dominates nightmares.

It’s a movie, a fictional one presented as an edited set of real-life documentary-style video clips, but everything from the way the characters act to the brilliantly inane things they say seem almost too real to come out of just another horror script. In a sense, it is. The dialogue, all or most of it, is reportedly improvised as it would be if this wasn’t just a movie. This Blair Witch Project isn’t particularly scary, unless perhaps you actually believe in witchcraft, but it’s a compelling character study. I suspect people like this would react like this in a situation like this. Nothing, aside from the actual “Witch” stuff, seems unreal, especially at the end when all hope is lost, fear takes over and the girl starts screaming for her life.

my rating : 4 of 5

1999