Category: reviews

video review : Get On The Bus

video review : Get On The Bus

Spike Lee invites you to Get On The Bus. Its passengers consist of about twenty men and a teenager, played De’Aundre Bonds overacting his role, headed to The Million (black) Man March; a potentially historic civil rights event held by Louis Farrakhan in Washington DC.

You don’t have to support the cause to enjoy the ride. There’s enough dynamic characterization to hold your attention for the most part. It’s when we start leaving the bus for conflict and drama during the movie’s second half that things go from good to not-so-good.

It soon becomes an emotional wreck. Imagine fist fights and father-son therapy sessions over contemporary soul music. Spike Lee deserves praise for including a new Michael Jackson song as the theme, but They Don’t Care About Us would’ve been a better fit.

my rating : 3 of 5

1996

audio review : Channel Orange ( album ) … Frank Ocean

Channel Orange ( album ) ... Frank Ocean

The TV theme, which offers ghostly interludes of what sounds like a person flicking thru channels, is unnecessary. It’s subtle enough, but it serves as a minor distraction from what is otherwise an album of outstanding soul songs. They’re designed around soft and often drum-dampened grooves, mostly slow and sensual in nature; rhythmic pulsations that drip, ooze and float around in space like daydreams of amour caught in a lava lamp. The only reason it’s Pink Matter, as opposed to Orange, is because that particular ode, featuring guest rapper Andre 3000, happens to be dedicated to a girl.

Forrest Gump is dedicated to a guy, which makes Frank Ocean either as bisexual as Janet Jackson was when she sang about loosening the back of a girl’s “pretty” French gown and tying her up with Velvet Rope or as artistically daring. In either case, wherever his true romantic orientation lies, there’s undeniable beauty in these songs. Frank Ocean is like Stevie Wonder in the 1970s, which is nothing less than fantastic, but it’s a style that wouldn’t mean much if that’s all he had to offer. Beyond all the gloss; even the song about Crack Rock sounds enticing enough to make love to; are hearty vocal melodies.

my rating : 4 of 5

2012

video review : Home Alone 2 [ Lost In New York ]

video review : Home Alone 2 [ Lost In New York ]

Home Alone 2 may as well be a remake. That’s how close it follows in the footsteps of the original. It’s a formula starting with the McCallister family going on Christmas vacation and ending with them celebrating elsewhere after reuniting with Kevin. This time he gets left at the airport, which sends the family to Miami and Kevin to New York City. He’s Alone again, if one can ever be alone in New York City, but he’s not at Home, so the title no longer makes sense.

Once you realize you’re basically watching Home Alone again; different details with the same basic plotline; you start to anticipate the one entertaining part; the part where The Wet Bandits, now known as The Sticky Bandits, fall victim to Kevin and his booby traps. Even though you know how everything’s going to end-up, that climax does not disappoint. It’s still fun to watch those two idiots become real-life Looney Tunes characters before your eyes.

my rating : 3 of 5

1992

video review : Home Alone

video review : Home Alone

The climax of this movie, in which an eight-year-old boy booby-traps his house to prevent two burglars from robbing it while his family is away on Christmas vacation, is quite entertaining. He uses ice, tar, fire and whatever else he can find in the house to make even something as simple as walking up the stairs or turning a doorknob a dangerous experience for would-be-robbers.

In a more serious movie; one that doesn’t sugarcoat its violence in slapstick comedy; the two burglars, named The Wet Bandits because one of them likes to clog the sink and leave the water running when they rob a house, would probably be dead. Here they just hurt and humiliate themselves in amusing ways. There’s a scene involving a spider that’s actually hilarious.

What’s annoying is the boy. I guess he’s supposed to be cute and he might look cute, but the way he acts; the character and the actor who plays him; is the worst thing about the movie. When a Wet Bandit falls victim to one of his pranks, he celebrates with a “Yes!” When he glides across a sheet of ice to escape a policeman, he lets out an exaggerated “Wooah!” It’s just annoying.

With that, I think Home Alone would be better if Kevin’s character were presented in a more realistic way. I’d also like to see some background to how he’s able to come-up with such an ingenious Battle Plan. There are no scenes of him making booby traps before his family mistakenly leaves him Home Alone, which is an inclusion that would work wonders for the plot’s believability factor.

my rating : 3 of 5

1990

video review : Home Alone 2 [ Lost In New York ]
 

Ryan :

You’re joking, right? You wanted them to develop how he came up with his “battle plan?” Out of everything in this phenomenal, CLASSIC movie, that was what you found to be the most unrealistic aspect?

audio review : I’m Goin Out Lika Soldier ( album ) … Willie D

I'm Goin Out Lika Soldier ( album ) ... Willie D

Willie D is funny when he’s mad and yelling, and he’s usually mad and yelling. That’s why he’s my favorite member of the Geto Boys; a group he’s no longer a part of and might be at war with. If he’s Goin Out Lika Soldier, as the ridiculous album title insists, he’s a one-man army, but it’s best that way. When comrades arrive to Pass Da Piote, it makes for the album’s worst song.

The best or at least most entertaining; the set is scattered with clever comedy bits; are the ones on which he’s Goin off on (bald-head) hoes. There’s a diss about a Little Hooker named Choice and My Dick knocks pussy off the pedestal sexist society tries to put it on. Both songs are hilarious, but he goes the opposite way on Clean-Up Man; the anthem of a typical romantic.

When he’s not aiming at women, he’s taking shots at men; from Rodney King; there’s a whole song about how much he hates the motorist for being a racial “sellout”; to phony Gankstas to “weak-ass” rappers he wants to Die. By the end of the album, over a funky Average White Band sample, he’s put himself in a situation in which has to come-up with an Alibi for murder.

my rating : 3 of 5

1992

audio review : Cruel Summer

audio review : Cruel Summer

The hooks on the first two songs are annoying. R Kelly, for one, sounds silly stretching the word “world” out to so many syllables. Neither is as bad as on a song called Higher though, which is practically unbearable. There is “GOOD” music here, but most of it is confined to the actual music. The instrumental beats, even without Kanye West at the helm, thump with artistic flair.

The raps are neither here nor there; there aren’t really any stand-out MCs in Kanye’s clique; though feature verses from Ghostface Killah and Jadakiss serve as pleasant surprises. Song highlights include Don’t Like, an updated version of the Chief Keef song, which isn’t at all appropriate as the ending to an album that represents a record label he’s not signed to, Sin City and The One.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

A Stolen Life [ A Memoir ] ( book ) … Jaycee Dugard

A Stolen Life [ A Memoir ] ( book ) ... Jaycee Dugard

Jaycee Dugard was abducted at 11 years old. She lived with her abductors, a pedophile and his wife, for 18 years, but she wasn’t held captive all that time. That’s the problem with her story. She was a victim in June of 1991 when Phillip Garrido zapped her with his stun gun, put her in his car, imprisoned her in his home and started using her as his personal sex slave, but by the time Jaycee, now living under the secret identity of Allissa; a 29-year-old mother of two; was discovered by the police and reunited with her real family, she’d become willing participant. That she attributes to being “conditioned” as she tries to play the victim role to the end, but she’s full of shit. She had countless chances to flee; at one point, she strolls thru a crowded shopping mall without Phillip; but chose not to.

Her story is nonetheless an intriguing one. Her style of writing is sometimes childish and redundant, especially at the beginning, but the personal journals she was thoughtful enough to write over the years, which she apparently saved, help her do a fine job of revisiting the past. That is assuming all the details she includes; the rape scenes, which are the most interesting parts, are surprisingly graphic; are true. This is just one side of a long story. My only major complaints are the Reflection bits, which take the reader from a factual account of the past to a present-day psychological analysis in a jolt, and the fact that it should’ve ended at the Discovery And Reunion chapter; the ending of which is genuinely poignant. The rest could’ve and should’ve been summed down to a short epilogue.

my rating : 3 of 5

2011

audio review : Both Sides ( album ) … Phil Collins

Both Sides ( album ) ... Phil Collins

Phil Collins is a one-man band. He still Can’t Dance; there are only three uptempo songs on this set; but he sings and plays, or programs, the instruments without missing a beat. If you didn’t know any better, you might think you were listening to another Genesis release.

Both Sides isn’t as epic as their last album; few albums are; but it’s a worthy follow-up. The voice of Phil Collins remains a blanket of melody, which helps give a warm and comfy atmosphere to these songs. Most are good. Some, including the idyllic title track, near greatness.

my rating : 4 of 5

1993

Tootsie Roll

Tootsie Roll

Never had a Tootsie Roll? Imagine chocolate-flavored chewing gum you can easily swallow because it doesn’t stick together. That’s the basic consistency here. It’s a rolly taffy of sorts, not made with actual chocolate but with cocoa and sugar.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : Welcome To Our House ( album ) … Slaughterhouse

audio review : Welcome To Our House ( album ) ... Slaughterhouse

You can’t tell from the generic album title, but the Slaughterhouse rappers, even with weak link Joell Ortiz, can be a clever bunch. They hype themselves as the best rap group out now. If that’s true, it just means there aren’t any great rap groups out now, but there is enough lyrical skill between the four of them to make inviting songs that would otherwise turn you away. That’s literally the case with some of these songs as executive producer Eminem; a rapper who, once upon a time, would’ve easily outshined all four MCs; provides them with basically a tame collection of run-of-the-mill pop music. Rather than serve as a showcase for hip-hop; the only right direction to go with a group like this; the album seems to be made for the 2012 Billboard charts. A seemingly talentless Skylar Grey sings to emo Alex Da Kid beats. That fact alone flies in the face of what Slaughterhouse is supposed to be about. They may have “made it”, meaning heightened fame and fortune for four rappers who’ve never been far above the underground, but the Our Way claim rings false.

There is nothing essentially wrong with commercialized rap music. The popular bandwagon is often a fun ride. Eminem has proven that time and time again. This Slaughter-House simply isn’t a good place to be. Both D-12 albums are better for comparison’s sake and I don’t even like the second D-12 album. That isn’t much of a surprise though. Eminem has been off-track ever since he went against his own Relapse, my second-favorite album of his, and ditched the twisted artistry of his Slim Shady persona for a watered-down pop hits Recovery. Listen to his forced flow on this album’s title song, which does include a witty line about his daughter, and tell me it’s any better than “eh”. Not that he never shines anymore. The Asylum song, which he provides the chorus and beat for, is actually good. It’s only for the Deluxe version of the album though, which means it has no affect on this review. The highlights that do count, like the Coffin drums and lyrics that are great as opposed to just better than most other mainstream rappers, are few and far between.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

video review : Deep Impact

video review : Deep Impact

The premise is captivating. A huge comet is headed toward Earth and will hit in less than a year, which means most, if not all, people will die. It’s a extinction-level event; an “Ele”, as some unimaginative government official dubs it. But such a thing is hard to take in. Earth hasn’t had one since the dinosaurs, after all. So an MSNBC news reporter named Jenny Lerner carries on with her job, looking as lethargic as ever, as the end of the world grows near.

A decision she makes near that end is stupid, but it’s the boy who discovered the comet while looking thru a telescope in astronomy class who’s the ultimate idiot. His impeding doom is a secondary concern for him. He cares more about the classmate he’s fallen in love with. Time wasted on such trivial silliness instead of more hardcore realism; The President addressing the nation are the best parts; cushions the blow with a layer of schmaltz.

my rating : 3 of 5

1998

video review : Terminator 3 [ Rise Of The Machines ]

video review : Terminator 3 [ Rise Of The Machines ]

The machines aren’t the only things rising. The sight of the TX cyborg, played by Kristanna Loken, causes my body to react automatically. Her face, which only occasionally breaks expressionless focus for a slight grin, is perfectly cute. Her body is perfectly slim. It’s her conduct that could use some work. Her merciless aggression is a turn-on, yes, but the girl is literally a killing machine. So if she touches you, it’s only to take the form of your body when you’re dead.

The “Terminator” moniker now refers to her. The T-101 model, played by an Arnold Schwarzenegger who looks older but still fit for the role, is now the savior. He’s been sent from the future to protect the lives of John Conner and his future wife from both the TX and the near nuclear holocaust the people of the world will face as a result of the Skynet computer virus. The virus has infiltrated our machines and decided to wipe us out, hence the movie’s subtitle.

This part 3, which doesn’t feature Linda Hamilton and isn’t directed by James Cameron, sadly enough, is inferior to part two but superior to part one. There are surprisingly funny moments and the overall plot, while riddled with improbable coincidences and stodgy dialogue, is consistently engaging. The best scenes are the fight and shoot ones that revolve around the TX. There’s an extended chase involving a crane truck that’s actually quite remarkable.

my rating : 4 of 5

2003