Category: reviews

the Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg concert at The Coachella Valley Music And Arts Festival

the Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg concert at The Coachella Valley Music And Arts Festival

It’s nothing but a “gangsta” party hosted by Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg with the help of 2Pac, the latter bit of which is a little unsettling. It’s a hologram, but visual technology has gotten so advanced; we’re way pass 2001; that you might mistake it for an impersonator.

2Pac should be limited to his Snoop and Dre collaborations. Letting him perform Hail Mary, a song from an album he called Dre “gay-ass” on, takes away from the show’s overall theme, as does other songs. At one point, the crowd is Jumping Around to House Of Pain.

Still, even with those flaws, the show is dope. Really. Snoop smoked a blunt on stage. Eminem and 50 Cent are also featured as surprise guests, along with other Death Row and Aftermath affiliated artists. All that hip-hop star power on one stage is a sight to see.

my rating : 4 of 5

2012

audio review : Destiny Fulfilled ( album ) … Destiny’s Child

audio review : Destiny Fulfilled ( album ) ... Destiny's Child

Beyoncé is and always was the brightest star, but all three of these girls have solo careers now. That means this could be their final album together. The title certainly suggests so. If that’s the case, they’ll be remembered, at least in my mind, for their obsessive infatuation with guys and romance. Every single track on this set has to do with those two things. When they’re not out looking for a new relationship, they’re either professing their “love” to the “boy” they’re with or breaking-up with him. That’s literally all they do. So even a song entitled Through With Love is followed by a song entitled Love.

Soldier is weak. It should’ve been limited to one rap verse by either TI or Lil Wayne. But it’s the only bad song. Cater 2 U and T-Shirt, both of which find the girls passionately in love with a guy who seems too lucky to exist, are sweeter on the ears. The next two songs are vocally overshadowed by their soulful 9th Wonder sample beats, but Kelly Rowland’s Bad Habit; the only solo on the album; sounds good. The music isn’t much, but there are melodic wonders happening during the chorus. I also like If, which does away with drums all-together and instead goes for a 1960s-style piano backdrop.

my rating : 3 of 5

2004

Pharmassure Chewable Vitamin C

Pharmassure Chewable Vitamin C

The directions say to chew one or two daily, but that’s a tough restriction because they’re so tasty. They’re chewable vitamin C tablets made with milk and a natural orange flavor. The sweet/sour taste and the powdery texture are similar to Smarties candy. It’s a good thing vitamin C isn’t harmful in high doses.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : Watch The Throne ( album ) … Jay-Z + Kanye West

audio review : Watch The Throne ( album ) ... Jay-Z + Kanye West

A lot of rappers claim to be the King, but Jay-Z and Kanye West have the success and popularity to at least provide some evidence for the claim. It’s a ridiculous claim, especially with Eminem still making records, but it’s also a metaphorical one. Bragging and boasting is embedded in the history of rap. If you can’t pay homage to your own skills, you can always focus on your money and the affluent lifestyle it affords you.

“I only like green faces,” West says in response to claims that he’s racist. Listening to such highbrow lines during one of America’s worst economic declines provides some cool dream-chasing escapism, but it’s not all bragging and boasting. There’s also an underlying theme on this album that seems to promote humanitarianism when it comes to the group of people Kanye West once said George Bush doesn’t care about.

Jay-Z hasn’t made a good album in almost a decade, but instead of being pulled up by the monster he created; Kanye West only produces one song on his own; the album comes across as an underwhelming follow-up to his Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Too many of the beats rely on familiar samples. Most of the breaks; the hooks and bridges often used to time-stretch songs that have only two verses; are mundane.

Not even Jay-Z’s sexy wife is able to Lift Off on a song in which neither rapper raps. Kanye West sings instead. Or is he crying? Jay-Z provides a mere four bars. Such little contribution makes it sound like a Beyoncé demo song she’s only come-up with the chorus for. What’s out of this world is the ending, where the generic beat changes into something enchanting. If only the whole song sounded like that.

A similar thing happens at the end of Niggas In Paris in which Jay-Z continues to borrow bars from his dead comrade; The Notorious BIG; as a Soulja Boy type of thumper beat is replaced by Kanye West zoning-out to holy chords over a rhythmic static track. It’s innovative moments like that I wish there were more of. Instead we get Swizz Beatz, stupid James Brown samples and the dreaded rebirth of Autotune.

my rating : 3 of 5

2011

audio review : Devil’s Night ( album ) … D-12

audio review : Devil's Night ( album ) ... D-12

Devil’s Night formally introduces the pop music world to the group Eminem rapped with before he got famous and took over. It’s D-12; The Dirty Dozen; “twleve motherfuckers in six different bodies with their personalities split” as he explains on the opener. And though only about half of those personalities are interesting enough to stand-out on their own, the album provides a dose of high-concept entertainment.

“It ain’t nothing but music,” Dr Dre declares over a technofied circus beat. That song, like much of the album, is a comical response to people who claim the group’s songs are a negative influence on children. From Eminem shooting at cops to Bizarre kidnapping Lil Bow Wow, you get the sense that all D-12 wants to do is stir-up more controversy. Fight Music, for example, is for kids to “trash their rooms with”.

Eminem, while not as lyrically impressive as he was on his Marshall Mathers LP, is consistently on-point. He’s still the best rapper, but Bizarre’s shock value; the crazy and sometimes surprisingly vulgar things he says in his verses like eating his girlfriend’s “miscarriage”; makes him a notable second. Kuniva is third, followed by Proof, leaving Swifty McVay and Kon Artis merely stringing along for the hell of it.

my rating : 4 of 5

2001

video review : 1408

video review : 1408

The set-up is interesting. A paranormal investigator named Mike Enslin receives an anonymous postcard in the mail about a particular room in New York City’s Dolphin Hotel. All the card says is “Don’t Enter 1408”. So, of course, he goes to the city and books an overnight reservation.

There’s a satisfyingly spooky scene featuring the hotel manager. He warns the man that the room is “evil”, begs him not to stay and talks as if he knows he’s in a Stephen King story. The plot falls apart from there, to the floor of horrid randomness, and keeps getting worse until checkout.

my rating : 1 of 5

2007

Full Dark No Stars ( book ) … Stephen King

Full Dark No Stars ( book ) ... Stephen King

The title is only half true. The stories of this Stephen King collection are indeed dark in nature; the set is bookended by tales of bloody spousal murder; but there are stars. It’s just that they’re normal people. They’re people who kill and harm other people, yes, but the author does his best to justify their actions by providing a method to their madness. Are his justifications successful? Not usually. There’s only one story in which I think the protagonist is justified and that’s the rape victim who seeks revenge on her Big Driver attacker. But their sides of the story are told. That’s the point.

It’s unfortunate those stories aren’t presented in a more interesting manner. The underlying concepts spark real suspense in the build-up, even the ridiculous Fair Extension, but the way Stephen King drones on and on in meticulous descriptions and backstory is more than enough to kill it. He’s an excellent writer when it comes to using words to tell a story, yes; possibly one of the best; but these stories lack anything interesting beyond that. There’s nothing clever or witty about them. No artistic depth. They’re just told. That might’ve been okay if the process weren’t so redundant.

The best parts of the Big Driver and 1922 stories; the rape and murder that should be their ending peaks; come closer to the beginning. After that, the plots just ramble along in boring epilogue. A Good Marriage gets the structure right, but the peak is unrealistic given everything that came before it. The normal caring protagonist, like the one in Big Driver, suddenly becomes as vicious as the man she’s up against. In this case though, it’s not a matter of retaliation, so her motive doesn’t make much sense. Not that it matters in the end. By that point, you’re just happy it’s all over.

my rating : 1 of 5

2010

audio review : Death Threatz ( album ) … MC Eiht

audio review : Death Threatz ( album ) ... MC Eiht

I think it’s safe to say the most anticipated song on this album is MC Eiht’s official response to Dollars And Sense; the song DJ Quik, as far as a lot of rap fans are concerned, verbally destroyed him on. The diss, featured on both Snoop Dogg’s Murder Was The Case compilation and DJ Quik’s Safe And Sound album, was a direct response to Def Wish 3 from MC Eiht’s previous release. While it may be a wise marketing move to start this album with Death Wish 4, so that people can hear it right away, it also comes across as somewhat of an artistic blunder.

Why is he so consumed with DJ Quik? He’s basically dedicating an entire album to him. At least that’s what putting the diss at the beginning and titling the album Death Threatz suggests. To make matters worse, the song doesn’t really deliver. The beat is funky and danceable, but a funky danceable beat doesn’t exactly fit the concept. Besides, it’s too little too late. The MC simply doesn’t have the rap skills to match the DJ, as odd or ironic as that may seem. He seems to know it as he alleges some other “motherfucker” wrote Quik’s verses.

From there it’s business as usual. Quik was right when he said “bitches” don’t (generally) jock MC Eiht’s “shit” and that’s okay. This is thug music for thug “niggas”, but, as much as he raps about guns, it’s the beats that bang the most. That’s probably why they’re allowed to play on sometimes long after the vocals have ended. They don’t quite have the elegant sheen of the Strapped album, but they’re close enough. The Endoness, which provides a dose of conceptual creativity for a change, and the sequel to Late Night Hype are especially remarkable.

my rating : 3 of 5

1996

audio review : So Beautiful Or So What ( album ) … Paul Simon

audio review : So Beautiful Or So What ( album ) ... Paul Simon

I don’t think Paul Simon’s ever made a beautiful album. He’s made plenty of beautiful songs though. That made albums that were at least good. That was until a little over a decade ago when; after The Capeman, one of his most melodic sets; the quality of his music suddenly declined. He’s been stuck in an artistic rut ever since. This new album, only his third in all that time, is no return to form.

The first song, a Christmas anthem, suggests it might be. It’s better than every song on his last album and most of the ones on The One before it. But So Beautiful is a wonderless mess from there. Most of the album, all but the first and last song, is simply a drag. The poetry and storytelling is signature Paul Simon, but the vocal melodies, an element the artist used to master, are boring and bland.

These songs should’ve been scrapped for better ones, or “simple” ones as Paul Simon himself described during a Barnes And Noble interview in 2008. He debuted live demo versions of Love And Hard Times and Questions For The Angels that day, music he described as “complex”, before strumming an experimental groove he described as the result of going back to something simple.

That groove was bouncy and catchy. It didn’t need drums or even vocals to sound marvelous. I hoped he’d make a song out of it, but it’s nowhere to be found. In its place are songs it takes repeated listens to grasp the melodies of. The whiny guitar riffs on Love And Blessings are funky, but it’s not enough. I want a beautiful Paul Simon album, or at least another good one, before he’s dead and gone.

my rating : 2 of 5

2011

audio review : Pink Friday [ Roman Reloaded ] ( album ) … Nicki Minaj

Pink Friday [ Roman Reloaded ] ( album ) ... Nicki Minaj

The vapid Matrix-esque title is a clue. Nicki Minaj, it seems, as unique as she may be in the wacky style and personality she projects to the pop world, is no more of a music artist than her average fan. If you randomly put one of them in a high-end studio with established beat-makers and a hefty budget, I bet they would shoot-out, or perhaps shit-out, an album that’s no worse, if not better, than this Pink Friday sequel.

She’s an okay rapper. Her lyrics aren’t special, but I can at least dig her regular rapping voice. That’s “regular” as in when she’s not caricaturing it with goofy inflections. Her talent is minimal though, so even when she sings whole songs, verses and all, over thumping house beats that could’ve been made for Rihanna or Lady Gaga, as is the case for much of this album, the quality of her music is never better than average.

I don’t mind bubble gum pop music, but I demand from it what I demand from music of any other genre. That quality is missing here. Worse is that these songs, some of which are already bad in the first place, are presented without any conceptual order. It starts as a rap album but soon transforms into the aforementioned croonfest. Without any balance or separation lines, the switch is jarring and anticlimactic.

Her singer fans and her rapper fans get only about a half album each. Maybe that’s a good thing because there isn’t really a good song on either set. Roman Holiday, despite its outlandish vocals, does have a tolerable stage-ready chorus, but Come On A Cone sounds like an impromptu; something you’d record for fun but wouldn’t dare put on your album; and Hov Lane is one of the worst songs I ever heard.

The singing songs, which sound not just like one another but generic prototypes for the genre, do better. They, unlike Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne going “ba-bang-bang” on the title track, at least have flat little melodies to latch on to; no worse than Rihanna and Lady Gaga to my ears. They belong on a different album though; one that’s not supposed to be a sequel to an album that wasn’t about songs like these.

my rating : 2 of 5

2012

video review : American Reunion

video review : American Reunion

Did the world need another slice of American Pie? The answer is, of course, no. And I’m referring to American Pie 2; the first in a set of unnecessary sequels, including four spin-offs. That the story continues to continue on, with an oddly-timed thirteen-year Reunion, thirteen years later, is a testament to the way the movie business works. It’s not really about art. It’s about money. So even moderately popular flicks spawn sequels almost automatically. That means this reunion just might be the first of more.

When we met Jim Levenstein, he and his three best friends were high school seniors with a pact to lose their virginity before graduation. Now he’s married with a kid, Kevin is married, Oz is a professional sportscaster and Finch… rides a motorcycle. But we shouldn’t know any of this. Their stories should’ve ended with their high school graduation. The rest should’ve been left to our imaginations. Instead we get what feels like an extended epilogue; one that’s long passed the length of the story itself.

It is nice to see everybody again, particularly Stifler. He’s not nearly as funny as he tries to be; the fake phone-call is the only thing he does that makes me laugh out loud; but his outrageousness makes him the funniest among these semi-funny characters. It’s just that the movie, as much as it tries with all its time-lapse jokes; Stifler pretends to read the Twilight series to connect with high school chicks and the Spice Girls Wannabe song now plays on the Classic Rock station; can only go so far on nostalgia alone.

my rating : 2 of 5

2012

video review : Above The Rim

video review : Above The Rim

This is a basketball movie, but the most uninteresting parts are when people are playing basketball. There’s a lot of shout-cued interpersonal drama happening elsewhere. The story centers around a skilled high school player on the verge of a scholarship to Georgetown University and a side-story involving his mother’s new boyfriend; a former player who missed his chance. Elsewhere is where you’ll have to focus for shots of entertainment. That’s assuming you can get pass all the overacting and pointless violence.

my rating : 3 of 5

1994