The Ruler’s Back, but is he really? This Slick Rick album, produced entirely by Vance Wright with the exception of an incongruous club coda by Mr Lee, is mostly underwhelming. The constant scratch samples, on every song, give the set a monotonous tone. The highlights; all stories about dating girls; include Runaway, Venus and Mistakes Of A Woman In Love With Other Men.
my rating : 3 of 5
1991
This is the sequel to Doggystyle; Snoop Dogg’s first and best album. If the titles seem out of order; it’s more appropriate to start with the standard Missionary position before hitting it from the back; perhaps it’s a fitting metaphor. It’s 30 years later, the rapper reminds us; it’s actually 31, so the album comes a year late; and he’s not the pup he used to be. Ain’t No Fun these days without a tab of Viagra. At one point, he’s complaining about his cataracts.
Not that anyone can see thru the clouds of weed and gun Smoke; the latter of which inspires a song with 50 Cent and Eminem; the latter of which once made an inferior sequel of his own. Part of the problem with The Marshall Mathers LP 2 was the absence of Dr Dre. Snoop avoids that mistake by inviting the legendary beatmaker to produce every song here, though the abundance of co-producers suggests he’s become more of a musical figurehead.
Those beats are the best thing here, but that’s not saying much. Long gone are the banger basslines of the G-funk era. The production here is polished and contemporary; routine sex with your wife while longing for those “bitches in the living room getting it on”. The biggest turnoff though is the breaks, where the music too often changes for the worse in order to accommodate a limp chorus. Minor highlights include Pressure and The Negotiator.
my rating : 3 of 5
2024
Xiaocan Feng is prettier, but the most beautiful moment of this Road To UFC finale comes at the end when Ming Shi; Doctor Sleep; lands a “massive” head kick à la Valentina Shevchenko versus Jessica Eye. It knocks her opponent out cold to the point where Feng is carried out of the Octagon to the hospital on a stretcher. Brutal.
my rating : 3 of 5
2024
The title could just as well refer to Ice Cube himself. What made the rapper standout in the late 1980s and early 1990s was his brute insolence and racial/political indignations. This album includes hints of both, but the richer calmer Man he’s long since matured into just isn’t as interesting.
The best songs include the J-Dee reunion; Facts about Dee’s 20-something-year prison stint; and 3 Lil Piggies. Rollin At Twilight, at the beginning where it is, with its odd vocal breaks, comes across as a tacked-on demo. Cube should’ve omitted it to start and end the set with Ego trips.
my rating : 3 of 5
2024
It’s awkward to begin your album with a guest verse. It’s also off-putting to start it with trite samples and interpolations. Luckily for Mary J Blige, rather the longtime fans she apparently dedicated this album to in a show of Gratitude, things get more original and less irksome (better) from there. Groovy highlights include Beautiful People, Can’t Wait For You and Don’t Fuck Up.
my rating : 3 of 5
2024
“When life puts you to the test, don’t settle for second best”, the can reads, “Grab a Bang Energy and fuel your destiny!” This one does taste like Peaches and Mangos; a semitropical fruit blend that results in a mildly pleasant flavor. It’s the carbonation that dampers the experience.
my rating : 3 of 5
This Fast Twitch, “from the makers of Gatorade”, tastes like Kool-Aid with too much water in it… or not enough sugar. That’s appropriate enough considering there’s “zero sugar”; a health boast nearly rescinded with the addition of its sucralose substitute. It’s an energy drink made for sports athletes.
my rating : 3 of 5
This is supposed to taste like Gummy Bears. It sort of does, but not enough to warrant the namesake. Speaking of which, as far as energy drinks go, it’s far from the “Greatest of all time”, though the can suggests the acronym actually refers to the quintessential drinker; the Muhammad Alis and Michael Jordans of the sports world.
my rating : 3 of 5
This Rockstar Energy Drink tastes like Smarties; the candy. That’s despite the fact that it’s Sugar Free. If that bit has to do with health, the sucralose added in its place probably isn’t much better. There are also 160 milligrams of caffeine, which, according to the can, “provides feelings of increased alertness and reduced tiredness for up to 5 hours.”
my rating : 3 of 5
This “limited edition” G Fuel Energy Drink is based on Crash Bandicoot 4. It’s About Time goes the subtitle, but it’s mostly about promotion as the drink was apparently created for the sole purpose of advertising the game. The flavor is Wumpa Fruit, appropriately enough, which is actually a fun apple mango blend.
my rating : 3 of 5
Beetlejuice is supposed to be funny. It occasionally is; “I’ve been feeling a little flat”, says a man who looks like he was killed by a steamroller; but the nonstop jokes, led by its title comedian slash “bio-exorcist”, are mostly corny. The two lip-synced song/dance scenes; easily the worst parts of the movie; are downright cringey. A moderately entertaining plot, about a dead married couple trying to scare a family out of their house, lies (buried) underneath.
my rating : 3 of 5
1988
If the cover art reminds you of a Tribe Called Quest album, there’s a reason for that. Every song here, rather its music, is produced by frontman Q-Tip. That makes this the most sonically cohesive and thoroughly hip-hop LL Cool album since Marley’s Marl’s Mama Said Knock You Out. The rapper is still a Force to be reckoned with. Best songs include Saturday Night Special and Black Code Suite.
my rating : 3 of 5
2024
