Category: reviews with a 3 of 5 rating

audio review : Surprise ( album ) … Paul Simon

audio review : Surprise ( album ) ... Paul Simon

The real surprise is that after waiting six years for a new Paul Simon album, it arrives with only two good songs on it. The rest is decidedly decent like about half of the songs from his previous One. Perhaps it’s not such a surprise after all.

It seems that Paul Simon, one of my all-time favorite song artists, is simply losing his knack, which he’s had since at least the age of thirteen when he composed The Girl For Me; a romantic doo-wop ballad that easily topples anything here.

The focus now seems to be poetic words to rhythm. He’s as lyrically brilliant as ever, choosing his words carefully like that of a poet who expects to be quoted long after he’s dead, but catchy vocal melodies seem to be a thing of the past.

The “sonic landscape” of Brian Eno, which can go from easy rock to trippy jungle to cool space noise at a moment’s notice, is modern and fresh, but without interesting songs to wrap itself around, it just feels like boring background music.

The two good songs are Another Galaxy, about a girl who ditches her fiancé on their wedding day, and There Was An Ocean, which is best during its second verse where harmonious vocals and quirky bass jerks help bring it up from mediocrity.

my rating : 3 of 5

2006

audio review : Lianne La Havas ( album ) … Lianne La Havas

audio review : Lianne La Havas ( album ) ... Lianne La Havas

Bittersweet, one of the best songs on this album, would’ve made the most fitting title for it, but any of these song titles would’ve been better than Lianne La Havas. That it’s confusing as to whether I’m referring to the artist or the album is a testament to why self-titled projects are almost always an awful idea, especially when it’s not even a debut.

This is her third full-length set and she’s still singing mostly about “love” to 1970s-style soul grooves. Those funky/lush soundscapes remain the best thing about her music. The singing; not her voice, which is husky yet soothing, but her melodies; is usually trailing behind. Read My Mind is a joy to listen to though, along with Paper Thin and Courage.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

Espresso Monster : Vanilla Cream [ Triple Shot ]

Espresso Monster : Vanilla Cream [ Triple Shot ]

“Italians are famous for artistic masterpieces, fast cars, fashion, beautiful women and the perfect espresso,” the can reads, “The latest trend is the Macchiato, a blend of strong espresso and milk.”

The milk is nice and smooth. It’s the strength of the Triple Shot of coffee, which, along with the milk, is apparently imported from Europe, that’s a tad overwhelming, at least during the aftertaste.

my rating : 3 of 5

Rainy Season ( story ) … Stephen King

This is Stephen King’s take on the old “raining cats and dogs” idiom. That he takes it literally, swapping mammals for amphibians, makes the story, which traps a young couple in a small town vacation house, more comedy than horror.

Once the downpour begins, things get interesting. It’s preposterous all the way; this is a story about killer toads Raining from the sky; but fun and somewhat captivating, at least during the second half where most of the action occurs.

my rating : 3 of 5

1989

Rainy Season ( story ) ... Stephen King

video review : 3 From Hell

video review : 3 From Hell

When I first heard Rob Zombie would bring back The Devil’s Rejects after they went out like Thelma And Louise nearly a decade and a half ago, I figured it would be some sort of prequel. This isn’t. It’s a bona fide sequel featuring the original members with one disappointing caveat.

While all 3 Rejects are here, Captain Spaulding, the most enthralling, is limited to a cameo role. That’s reportedly the result of real-life health problems. The actor, Sid Haig, is 80 years old. He’s replaced by a less interesting brother of Otis, who helps him (Otis) escape from prison.

That’s one of many blatant implausibilities happening in this movie, including the fact that the Rejects are still alive in the first place, though it’s Baby’s escape that’s most absurd. Once the new trio is set, the plot starts to get good, but by then it’s almost at the halfway point.

The best parts are still the kills; what I like most about Rob Zombie movies is the amoral depiction of brutal violence; but 3 seems incomplete without Cutter. A phone call in Mexico gives the peak dramatic suspense, but this is the worst movie in the Firefly trilogy.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

video review : 31

video review : 31

The first scene, a black and white introduction to a Jokeresque clown; but don’t call him that; named Doom Head, is intense. 31, named after the game of death five unlucky protagonists find themselves in, mostly falters from there. It’s Rob Zombie’s version of Saw; some people are actually killed with chainsaws; perhaps a sign the filmmaker is running out of ideas.

my rating : 3 of 5

2016

video review : The Lords Of Salem

video review : The Lords Of Salem

It’s the supernatural theme, which has to do with witches and Satan, that holds this otherwise interesting movie down. The best parts are when humans engage in normal conversations, albeit often about said abnormal topics. When creatures appear and the horror begins, mostly in the form of abstract cutaways revolving around a radio DJ named Heidi, the plot grinds to a bloody halt.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : Free Woman ( song ) … Lady Gaga

This song, a feminist dance anthem, doesn’t start sounding good until the final chorus, which is played over a different refrain. “I’m a Free Woman,” Lady Gaga announces from a downtown sidewalk. The two go together well enough to make one wonder how much better the song would be if it kept going like that for another eight or sixteen bars.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

audio review : Chromatica ( album ) ... Lady Gaga

audio review : Sour Candy ( song ) … Lady Gaga ( featuring Blackpink )

Well, Lady Gaga does seem to have sticky fingers. Not only is the concept of this song similar to the opening theme to Madonna’s Hard Candy, it also sounds like Katy Perry’s Swish Swish, though that latter faux pas has more to do with producers BloodPop and Burns. They made the beat.

Blackpink; apparently every member is featured; come across as more of a novelty than artsy collaborators. Their parts, with all the “yeah”s, are kind of annoying. Gaga does better, especially at the bridge. “I’m hard on the outside,” she says, “but if you give me time, then I could make time for your love.”

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

audio review : Chromatica ( album ) ... Lady Gaga

audio review : Enigma ( song ) … Lady Gaga

What’s puzzling is the concept of this song, which seems to be about romance. “We could be lovers, even just tonight,” Gaga roars, “We could be anything you want.”

It sounds sort of silly the way she says “I’ll” twice when telling this “mystery man” she’ll be his Enigma, but the house music she’s singing to is rather stimulating.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

audio review : Chromatica ( album ) ... Lady Gaga

audio review : Out My Mind Just In Time ( song ) … Erykah Badu

This ten-minute-plus rhapsody plays like a collection of Badu song demos, but she should’ve limited it to the first one. Undercover Overlover, which takes up two minutes and a half, would be a short song by today’s standards, but it would be one of her best.

It’s a solemn heartbreak ballad; she’s singing about a longtime beau who “thinks he wants another”; led by a lonely piano eventually accompanied by what sounds like an even lonelier violin. This is deep and moody soap opera stuff. The other bits are comparatively anticlimactic.

my rating : 3 of 5

2010

audio review : New Amerykah : Part Two [ Return Of The Ankh ] ... Erykah Badu