Category: reviews with a 3 of 5 rating

video review : Orange Is The New Black [ Season 4 ]

video review : Orange Is The New Black [ Season 4 ]

The best part of this season has to do with Maritza’s backstory as a car thief. It’s a short bit that has little to do with the overall story arc, but it’s perhaps the only one that provides a sense of genuine suspense. Season 4, while better than 3, isn’t on par with 2 and 1. The series is merely coasting, barely interesting enough to keep watching.

The worst parts are the lame comedy attempts and any time Lolly talks. The psychotic Ellen-lookalike is now, hands down, the most annoying character. She’s even worse than Suzanne and Piper. The show would do better with less of them and more of sexy Latinas Maritza and Marisol. Where can I purchase a pair of their smudgy panties?

That side plot isn’t abandoned, thankfully. This fourth season of Orange is mostly a silly soap opera. Then something dramatic happens near the end. It’s a bad thing for the women of Litchfield but a good thing for viewers seeking drama and tension. The ending, reminiscent of Do The Right Thing, entertains. But it’s a case of too little too late.

my rating : 3 of 5

2016

video review : Orange Is The New Black [ Season 5 ]
video review : Orange Is The New Black [ Season 6 ]
video review : Orange Is The New Black [ Season 7 ]

audio review : Lemonade ( album ) … Beyoncé

audio review : Lemonade ( album ) ... Beyoncé

It’s another Beyoncé album, which means a new batch of songs that, as far as modern pop music goes, are merely adequate. She’s been a solo artist for several years, but her best stuff came as a member of Destiny’s Child. Now, even with an endless supply of helpers on hand; Beyoncé has the money/power to recruit just about any producer or lyricist she chooses; she seems to be stuck in a musical rut. Hold Up, which smartly minimizes trap drums for a new age approach, is an early standout, but even it is plagued with banal lyrics. “Can’t you see there’s no other man above you,” the hook goes, “They don’t love you like I love you.”

If “They” means other women and she’s singing to her real-life husband, as verse two strongly suggests; in fact, her bitter sentiments carry on to the next couple of songs; it’s a serious case of trouble in paradise. If that’s the matter, I’d like to take this time to let Beyoncé know that I’m single, about the same age as she is and better looking than Jay-Z. Sorry songs like Sorry I’ll put up with all day, and All Night, for an invite to Red Lobster. That is to say that Beyoncé is beautiful, but her music is far from it. This album, like a cold glass of lemonade on a hot summer day, goes down fresh and slightly sweet but with a sour aftertaste.

my rating : 3 of 5

2016

 

Amazon Customer :

I agree that her best music came in Destinys child. In my opinion, they should never have split. It was all about making Beyonce a big star, but as we have seen from her solo work, that proved to be the wrong strategy.

Catherine Todd :

“I’d like to take this time to let Beyoncé know that I’m single, about the same age as she is and better looking than Jay-Z. Sorry songs like Sorry I’ll put up with all day, and All Night, for an invite to Red Lobster.”

OMG – ROTFL! Marcel, you MADE MY DAY! Best review ever!

new SxS :

Bye Michelle!

audio review : Layers ( album ) … Royce Da 5-9

audio review : Layers ( album ) ... Royce Da 5-9

He says he ain’t leaving here without a classic. If “here” means the universe and “classic” refers to an album, I doubt that’s true. He promised not to lie on any verse, but I guess that was just the first song. It’s all opinion, of course, and in mine, Royce Da 5-9 is (still) one of the best popular rappers ever. It’s his persona that’s annoying, not to mention all the “God” nonsense, and his lack of skills when it comes to composing songs that hold this album back from greatness like every other album of his.

The Hard hook is uncharacteristically catchy. A lot of rappers consider it soft to sing during the breaks. A lot of rappers are stupid. Every other song that has a chorus; the title track sounds exquisite without one; leaves a lot to be desired. That represents the album’s, and rap music’s, biggest flaw. Layers would also do better if it were skit-free and stripped down to, say, the best twelve songs. Interesting start though. Tabernacle tells the story of what Royce considers the most significant day of his life.

my rating : 3 of 5

2016

video review : Black Mass

video review : Black Mass

Use your hand to cover the “M” on the opening title shot. It’ll be the most entertaining part of the movie. Not that this Boston crime story will necessarily put you to sleep. It’s just that director Scott Cooper is a poor man’s Martin Scorsese.

It’s a case of style over substance as Johnny Depp, looking like an actor in costume, plays the role of Winter Hill Gang leader James Whitey Bulger. The plot preludes his life as a fugitive, but it’s barely interesting enough to make you care.

my rating : 3 of 5

2015

audio review : 7 ( album ) … Paula Cole

audio review : 7 ( album ) ... Paula Cole

Paula Cole is still going, albeit not so strong, with album number 7. It’s been a long time since her Harbinger debut, though most fans didn’t discover her until This Fire; her boiling point in terms of popularity and artistic zest. Since then, the songstress has settled into a zone of soft folky campfire music, which is particularly disappointing (boring) in comparison to the striking biographical odes presented on the aforementioned set.

Tiger, Where Have All The Cowboys Gone; every song on This Fire has its merits. Even her previous album, Raven, includes a naughty banger entitled Secretary. 7, as the unimaginative title suggests, sort of coasts along… pleasantly enough to play as background music but with no major highlights. Part of the problem is that she never really bawls here; Paula Cole is best when she’s bawling; but it’s mostly simply a lack of good melodies.

my rating : 3 of 5

2015

Naked : Kale Blazer

Naked : Kale Blazer

“Nutrition is delicious by Nature”? I say it can be but usually isn’t. It never is when it comes to vegetables and this is a mixture of pure vegetable juice; mostly kale, which tastes nasty on its own; along with fruit juice for sweetness.

The fruit (orange/apple/lemon) part does wonders for the taste, but it’s nowhere near delicious. Neither is it disgusting, despite the presence of green pulp. Drink this as a healthy alternative to unhealthy sugar drinks that taste a lot better.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : Now Hear This ( album ) … KRS-One

audio review : Now Hear This ( album ) ... KRS-One

It’s 2015 and KRS-One is still putting out albums. Why not? The MC still has a lot to say and he’s still dope enough to make me want to hear it. Listen to the Intro. Even at 50 years old, he’s above your average rapper. He’s below average when it comes to the breaks; making the melody of the hook the same as the beat is almost always a wack idea; and that’s why he hasn’t made a satisfactory album since the one he named after himself twenty years ago, but hip-hop fans should Hear This.

I’m not saying it’s good; he’ll probably never make another album that’s anything better than decent; but the verses, spit atop rugged boom-bap beats, are worth a listen. American Flag, for example, has The Teacha at the front of a History class, giving an Edutainment-style lecture on homeland racism. Invaders, a surprisingly catchy reggae tune, exposes the hypocrisy of US immigration laws. Conceptually all that’s missing from this album is a crime story and a “fresh” for 2015 shout.

my rating : 3 of 5

2015

video review : Bridge Of Spies

video review : Bridge Of Spies

Bridge Of Spies, based on the real-life incident of a US spy plane being shot down by Soviet Armed Forces during The Cold War in 1960, is a case of style over substance. It’s an elegant and polished production; expect no less from Steven Spielberg; plagued by tedious storytelling. There is tension at parts, but it’s mostly a middling affair as those of us who slept in Political History class wonder, but don’t care much one way or the other, if protagonist Rudolf Abel will be set free.

my rating : 3 of 5

2015

audio review : Let The Groove Get In ( song ) … Justin Timberlake

This dance anthem is built around an annoying chant that is abandoned about three-fourths in. Just before it ends, the music, starting at about the five-minute mark, makes its grand transformation into a 1970s-style disco floater to which Justin Timberlake adds a beautiful harmonized falsetto chorus. “All night long,” it goes. That coda, when the groove finally does get in, is exhilarating. It’s a damn shame the whole song doesn’t sound like that.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

audio review : The 20-20 Experience ( album ) … Justin Timberlake

audio review : Smile ( song ) … Michael Jackson

This ballad; a cover of a Nat King Cole cover of a Charlie Chaplin original; doesn’t get interesting until the final minute. That’s when the mawkish instrumentation is replaced by a cute piano jingle.

Michael Jackson ladas, fingersnaps and whistles over what you could describe as happy baby music. It’s a shame the whole song, most of which buries itself in Saccharin, doesn’t sound like that.

my rating : 3 of 5

1995

audio review : History ( album ) ... Michael Jackson

video review : The Hateful Eight

video review : The Hateful Eight

If not for Inglourious Basterds, his masterpiece, I’d say Quentin Tarantino hasn’t wowed me, in a good way, since Jackie Brown. The Hateful Eight, like Django before it, is more epic in scale than substance. There are memorable quotes; the “goddamn Mexican” bit is hilarious; but they’re too far and few between to justify the script’s grandiose verbosity. Nearly every member of The Hateful Eight is a stone-cold killer, but they’re apt to talk you to death. That should be a positive. Tarantino has long had a knack for punchy dialogue, but he seems to be losing it.

The problem of the characters only sometimes saying interesting things to one another is compounded by the fact that they’re snowed-in at the mercy of a blizzard for most of the plot, which circles around a prisoner named Daisy Domergue; the one woman and most despicable of the bunch. The haven is a lodge named Minnie’s Haberdashery and, though this virtual stage play runs for nearly three hours, the suspense and bloodshed doesn’t begin until about the halfway point. Ironically enough considering the fact that a tighter edit could make the film better in half the time.

my rating : 3 of 5

2015

audio review : The Buffet ( album ) … R Kelly

audio review : The Buffet ( album ) ... R Kelly

Sticking with clunky analogies; the album title would be more tasteful without the “The”; the most playful part of this meal is a dish entitled Marching Band, which itself is filled with clunky analogies. If R Kelly is a poet, as he suggests, he’s not a good one. “She blow me like a tuba,” he says; The Buffet is a metaphor for a sexy woman’s body; “I beat it up like a snare drum.” It’s a good (enough) song though. Most of the others serve as aesthetic side dishes.

Beatwise, Wake Up Everybody and Backyard Party sound like classic R. It’s their choruses that disappoint. Switch Up, featuring Lil Wayne and Jeremih, and Let’s Be Real Now, a duet with the prettiest girl Kelly’s ever collabed with; no offense to daughter Ariirayé; are downright silly. The album offers a variety of “R&B”; The Buffet also serves as a metaphor for that; but there’s nothing here to suggest he’s (still) The King of it. More like the palace’s head chef.

my rating : 3 of 5

2015