video review : Independence Day

video review : Independence Day

An invasion may be unlikely, but if space aliens do exist, and they probably do, it’s a scenario Earthlings may indeed have to face one day. That day happening to be the fourth of July and the American military being as effective fighting them off as they are in this movie is patriotic hogwash, more unlikely than the invasion itself, but this War Of The Worlds is at least fun to watch.

I’d prefer a more serious tone; characters drop one-liners when they should be fearing for their lives; but the jokes are funny. The plot? Entertaining. An alien mothership flies “90-billion” light years not just to kill every living being on Earth but to consume its natural resources before going on to the next planet. That’s where a Marine pilot and a cable repair man come into play.

my rating : 4 of 5

1996

Blue Bunny Ice Cream : Peanut Butter Party

Blue Bunny Ice Cream : Peanut Butter Party

It’s supposed to be a peanut butter party, but someone invited chocolate and its cousin. Peanut butter ice cream with peanut butter swirls is a tasty idea, but the addition of peanut butter cups coated in chocolate and fudge swirls is a bit much.

There’s fun to be had, meaning the ice cream is good, especially when melted down to a cold lumpy goo, but I can’t help but imagine how much better it would be if the flavor were peanut butter and nothing else as the name so merrily suggests.

my rating : 4 of 5

video review : Orange Is The New Black [ Season 4 ]

video review : Orange Is The New Black [ Season 4 ]

The best part of this season has to do with Maritza’s backstory as a car thief. It’s a short bit that has little to do with the overall story arc, but it’s perhaps the only one that provides a sense of genuine suspense. Season 4, while better than 3, isn’t on par with 2 and 1. The series is merely coasting, barely interesting enough to keep watching.

The worst parts are the lame comedy attempts and any time Lolly talks. The psychotic Ellen-lookalike is now, hands down, the most annoying character. She’s even worse than Suzanne and Piper. The show would do better with less of them and more of sexy Latinas Maritza and Marisol. Where can I purchase a pair of their smudgy panties?

That side plot isn’t abandoned, thankfully. This fourth season of Orange is mostly a silly soap opera. Then something dramatic happens near the end. It’s a bad thing for the women of Litchfield but a good thing for viewers seeking drama and tension. The ending, reminiscent of Do The Right Thing, entertains. But it’s a case of too little too late.

my rating : 3 of 5

2016

video review : Orange Is The New Black [ Season 5 ]
video review : Orange Is The New Black [ Season 6 ]
video review : Orange Is The New Black [ Season 7 ]

Little Big Shot Super Nozzle

Little Big Shot Super Nozzle

The problem with this water hose Nozzle is that it eventually gets stuck in the “pin-point” position. It’s a nuisance, presumably caused by inadvertent suction, that’s hard to undo. It can be prevented by not screwing it all the way down, but it’s still a major design flaw. Other than that, this Big Shot is a handy little nozzle for removing loose dirt and debri from floors, cars and whatever else.

my rating : 4 of 5

video review : Trilogy Of Terror

video review : Trilogy Of Terror

The third story is a thrill, at least compared to what came before it. It’s about a Zuni fetish doll that comes to life and tries to kill a woman named Amelia. She’s played by Karen Black who also stars in the other two stories, neither of which induce a single scare, let alone Terror.

The first, about a college student having a sexual relationship with his teacher, is interesting until the stupid ending. The second, which I do commend for being bold enough to include as a plot device a daughter sexually seducing her father; again with the sex; is stupid from the start.

my rating : 2 of 5

1975

audio review : Stranger To Stranger ( album ) … Paul Simon

audio review : Stranger To Stranger ( album ) ... Paul Simon

Papa Bell is cool. It’s named after a Negro baseball player from nearly a century ago, led by bouncy island strings and like something from Graceland. The rest of the album is like something from Wasteland. That is to say that the decline of Paul Simon as a songwriter, which began after The Capeman; his best album as far as I’m concerned; continues. It’s as if he’s forgotten how to make good songs, let alone more classics.

He’s still one of my favorite songers, but I’d rather him retire than tarnish his legacy any further. Wristband is conceptually akin to The Afterlife from his last album and just as silly. Street Angel brings some interesting hip-hop effects, but structurally the song is a mess. The Werewolf is a grower, but In A Parade never stops sounding stupid. Two short interludes on an album barely over a half-hour long reek of laziness.

He sings of “words” and “melody”, but it’s the latter that’s the problem. Paul Simon is still a wordsmith. It’s the way he sings those words that, more than anything else, make his new songs boring and mundane. The Capeman must’ve robbed him. I can almost count on one hand the good songs he’s released since then. Cool Papa Bell is one of them, yes, but good songs on a Paul Simon album are supposed to be the rule, not the exception.

my rating : 2 of 5

2016
 

Troy Puyear :

I will never argue with anyone’s right to offer an opinion, but I vehemently disagree that Paul has “forgotten how to make good songs.” I also find it interesting where people place the cutoff of when he last made good music. This reviewer says The Capeman was the last good one; a commenter says it was Rhythm of the Saints. My good friend Jim says that You’re the One was Paul’s worst album since Hearts and Bones, whereas another friend believes that Hearts and Bones was vastly underrated.

My point? Paul’s style is roving and eclectic, just the way he likes it. Am I a musical “homer,” supporting Paul in everything he does? No. I love most of his music, but there are definitely songs I dislike very much. But one thing I believe unshakably: whether you enjoy a Paul Simon song or album, or whether you feel like he swung for the fences and missed cleanly, he is still out there making relevant music that will make people think, make them feel, and make them smile and tap their feet. The man is a legend, but more importantly, I think he still has the talent and desire that got him here in the first place.

art 87 :

i agree with all the negative reviews. after Rhythm of the Saints, PS has forgotten how to write a melody. i listened to this lp twice and although the rhythms & drumbeats are striking, some good lyrics, the lack of melody makes this lp dull & unenjoyable.

Eric J. Anderson :

You are spot on in your review. My only quibble is that I think So Beautiful or So What is a fine, fine album. Second-tier compared to Rhythm of the Saints or his first four or five solo works, but still excellent. But Stranger To Stranger sounds like b-sides, experiments (failed experiments, mostly), and stuff not good enough for the previous album.

Michael Wilson :

Take a look at the review history of Marcel and you’ll soon discover why his review of the new Simon album isn’t relevant.

david ticehurst :

He sings of “words” and “melody”, but it’s the latter that’s the problem. Paul Simon is still a wordsmith. It’s the way he sings those words that, more than anything else, make his new songs boring and mundane.

I agree. In recent interviews Paul Simon spoke of the importance of sound. He has forgotten or chosen to ignore the importance of melody or song. Several of the songs on this CD are virtually spoken and yet the duet with Dion shows that when he wants to Paul can still sing and sound sublime. The words are as ever exquisite, intelligent and thought provoking. But the sound is bland and tuneless. It is as if Paul wants to be seen as a cool guy almost rapping. His words on his albums continue to sparkle but since Capeman onwards the melodies have disappeared.A huge disappointment for what will probably be his last album given the time it takes him to craft his material.

L. Jones :

Songers?

Mitzi2013 :

Really…Negro?

V8 Vegetable Juice Cocktail : Sea Salt And Clam Juice

V8 Vegetable Juice Cocktail : Sea Salt And Clam Juice

They call this a cocktail, but there’s no alcohol in it. There may as well be. I don’t think it could make the taste much worse. It’s Sea Salt And Clam, more sea salt than clam, which tastes about as disgusting as it sounds.

I don’t like anything salty. A hint can be nice, but I never put salt on anything and opt for saltless items at the grocery store. That’s the problem. This drink, juiced from sweet potatoes and tomatoes, is too salty.

my rating : 1 of 5
 

AMANDA MURPHY :

You don’t like anything salty but you bought a product called “SEA SALT and Clam”?

audio review : The Falling Season ( album ) … Masta Ace

audio review : The Falling Season ( album ) ... Masta Ace

Masta Ace apparently doesn’t care what I have to say. I’ve been complaining about his concept albums ever since he’s been releasing them and he still hasn’t changed a thing. This one, which takes us back to 1980; the year he started high school; serves as a sort of sequel to Son Of Yvonne, which features beats by MF Doom. The sole producer this time is Kic Beats. His aren’t as funky but it’s pure (sample-free) hip-hop nonetheless. Masta Ace used to be a better rapper, but that’s not even the problem here. It’s the weak breaks and annoying skits, the latter of which fails the flow of the album by never letting more than three songs play without interruption. Fats Belvedere, from A Long Hot Summer, is also back, for whatever that’s worth.

Let me be clear. The skits are well-produced and might be suitable for, say, a dramatized audiobook, but when there are so many; some over a minute long; on an otherwise normal rap album, they tend to irk. Young Black Intelligent, on which Ace successfully transports back to the younger fresher rapper he used to be, is a good song with replay value, but you shouldn’t have to skip the proceeding interlude to get to it. There’s nothing wrong with an album having a concept, but Ace takes it too far. By the time you get to Outtakes, literally outtakes of the skits being recorded, you’re thinking of throwing the tape in the garbage like they did De La Soul Is Dead. Either that or trim the skits, leaving an album that sounds unfinished without them.

Even with them, The Falling Season sounds, at times, like an assignment left incomplete. Mothers Regret and Coronation both have potential, but neither offer anything substantial during the breaks. Not every song needs a chorus, but there should be something to hold them down when the verses stop. Passersby trying to console a crying drug addict or a staff member reading names at a high school commencement ceremony isn’t enough. How much better would these songs be with catchy vocals going in the background? “Catchy” is the key word. High School Shit, a thematic rendition of Be True To Your School, has a hook, but it’s basic and sort of wack. Say Goodbye is even worse. Mathematics, Ace rhyming math terms, is just silly.

What he should do, or what he should’ve done a long time ago, is free himself from all these restrictive concepts and simply rap. That, and an ear for catchy hooks, is all he’d need to make another solid album, à la Take A Look Around. That one, his debut, also has its flaws, but its one Reminisce song is still better than the whole Falling Season. Masta Ace, now 49 years old, reminisces about being a high school student on almost every song here; Me And AG, on which he mentions “Uber-driving”, is one clear exception; and that cheats fans out of what is supposed to be his new album. Nostalgia is fun and all, but he’s already done a project like this. I’m starting to wonder if it’s just another case of an old school rapper being stuck in the past.

my rating : 2 of 5

2016

audio review : Lemonade ( album ) … Beyoncé

audio review : Lemonade ( album ) ... Beyoncé

It’s another Beyoncé album, which means a new batch of songs that, as far as modern pop music goes, are merely adequate. She’s been a solo artist for several years, but her best stuff came as a member of Destiny’s Child. Now, even with an endless supply of helpers on hand; Beyoncé has the money/power to recruit just about any producer or lyricist she chooses; she seems to be stuck in a musical rut. Hold Up, which smartly minimizes trap drums for a new age approach, is an early standout, but even it is plagued with banal lyrics. “Can’t you see there’s no other man above you,” the hook goes, “They don’t love you like I love you.”

If “They” means other women and she’s singing to her real-life husband, as verse two strongly suggests; in fact, her bitter sentiments carry on to the next couple of songs; it’s a serious case of trouble in paradise. If that’s the matter, I’d like to take this time to let Beyoncé know that I’m single, about the same age as she is and better looking than Jay-Z. Sorry songs like Sorry I’ll put up with all day, and All Night, for an invite to Red Lobster. That is to say that Beyoncé is beautiful, but her music is far from it. This album, like a cold glass of lemonade on a hot summer day, goes down fresh and slightly sweet but with a sour aftertaste.

my rating : 3 of 5

2016

 

Amazon Customer :

I agree that her best music came in Destinys child. In my opinion, they should never have split. It was all about making Beyonce a big star, but as we have seen from her solo work, that proved to be the wrong strategy.

Catherine Todd :

“I’d like to take this time to let Beyoncé know that I’m single, about the same age as she is and better looking than Jay-Z. Sorry songs like Sorry I’ll put up with all day, and All Night, for an invite to Red Lobster.”

OMG – ROTFL! Marcel, you MADE MY DAY! Best review ever!

new SxS :

Bye Michelle!

audio review : Layers ( album ) … Royce Da 5-9

audio review : Layers ( album ) ... Royce Da 5-9

He says he ain’t leaving here without a classic. If “here” means the universe and “classic” refers to an album, I doubt that’s true. He promised not to lie on any verse, but I guess that was just the first song. It’s all opinion, of course, and in mine, Royce Da 5-9 is (still) one of the best popular rappers ever. It’s his persona that’s annoying, not to mention all the “God” nonsense, and his lack of skills when it comes to composing songs that hold this album back from greatness like every other album of his.

The Hard hook is uncharacteristically catchy. A lot of rappers consider it soft to sing during the breaks. A lot of rappers are stupid. Every other song that has a chorus; the title track sounds exquisite without one; leaves a lot to be desired. That represents the album’s, and rap music’s, biggest flaw. Layers would also do better if it were skit-free and stripped down to, say, the best twelve songs. Interesting start though. Tabernacle tells the story of what Royce considers the most significant day of his life.

my rating : 3 of 5

2016

video review : Black Mass

video review : Black Mass

Use your hand to cover the “M” on the opening title shot. It’ll be the most entertaining part of the movie. Not that this Boston crime story will necessarily put you to sleep. It’s just that director Scott Cooper is a poor man’s Martin Scorsese.

It’s a case of style over substance as Johnny Depp, looking like an actor in costume, plays the role of Winter Hill Gang leader James Whitey Bulger. The plot preludes his life as a fugitive, but it’s barely interesting enough to make you care.

my rating : 3 of 5

2015

audio review : Prepared ( song ) … Jill Scott

This song, which reads like a series of “I” Tweets, doesn’t disappoint until you find out what Jill Scott is reading her old journals and staying on top of her daily chores in preparation for. It’s a cliché and ultimately anticlimactic affair, but the tune, led by a drum beat suspiciously similar to Elton John’s Bennie And The Jets, represents Jill Scott at her musical best, especially during the background chorus sections.

my rating : 4 of 5

2015

audio review : Woman ( album ) ... Jill Scott