audio review : The Rhythm Of The Saints ( album ) … Paul Simon

audio review : The Rhythm Of The Saints ( album ) ... Paul Simon

The rhythm is a dazzling array of percussion, mostly African and Brazilian samba, from artists around the world. It’s a soothing and ambient high that rarely lets you down. When the songs aren’t up to par because the melody of the lead vocals can’t keep up, as on the Cool River, Paul Simon himself is to blame.

This is his best, most poetic album so far. It’s timeless in the sense that live tribe music never dies. Even if you’re not an Elvis Presley fan yet Graceland is one of your favorite places to visit, it takes some time to unravel the musical complexity and fully appreciate the beauty of The Coast, Spirit Voices and the like.

my rating : 4 of 5

1990

audio review : Consignment ( mixtape ) … Jadakiss

audio review : Consignment ( mixtape ) ... Jadakiss

Jadakiss may be Raspy, but Young Jeezy is grating. When he goes into his “yeah” chant on a song that comes shortly after the annoying voice of French Montana, it makes me want to stop the tape. Nevermind how the rest of it sounds. Why Jadakiss; still the best Lox rapper, though nowhere near the “top five”; chooses to surround himself with this kind of wackness probably has more to do with future sales than anything else. Having their names attached to this set, which serves as a tease for his upcoming album, adds to its promotional buzz. But as far as product quality goes, it would do better without them.

Styles P is a welcomed guest. Dope Boy and Gettin Money have him sharing verses with Jadakiss, which has become a tradition for them. Going back and forth, almost bar for bar, is just what they do when they make songs together. Sheek Louch; the other Lox member; is also featured. And that reminds me how long I’ve been waiting for a new Lox album. It’s been, what, twelve years? But he’s only featured once and on a song that also features Gucci Mane. So yes, there’s rhyme, but there doesn’t seem to be any reason to these guest features; the best of which include a bassy club anthem entitled By The Bar.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

Nicki Minaj’s physical appearance

Nicki Minaj's physical appearance Nicki Minaj's physical appearance Nicki Minaj's physical appearance Nicki Minaj's physical appearance Nicki Minaj's physical appearance Nicki Minaj's physical appearance

Nicki Minaj can’t fool me. She has a sexy even if cosmetically altered body with a round ass I’d love to get into, but I’m more into nice faces than nice bodies and all the caked-on makeup in the world can’t fool me into thinking she looks anything better than ghetto average.

She’s apparently going for the black, or brown, Barbie doll look. And, as far as pop culture’s fake fashion world goes, I guess it’s working for her. But when it comes to real physical beauty; the kind you’re born with as opposed to the kind you brush on; it’s counterproductive.

I’m not going to say her face necessarily looks like that of a transexual man because it doesn’t, but it looks more like one than most girls I see. That’s mainly because of the pointy nose and prominent jawbone, which contradict the cute femininity her marketed image suggests.

She’s not afraid to make a crazy face or widen her eyes to cartoonish proportions on camera, and those unguarded lapses go to her credit, but I’d like to see her go all-natural by washing off all that ridiculous make-up and ridding herself of all the phony accessories.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : Relapse ( album ) … Eminem

audio review : Relapse ( album ) ... Eminem

What’s most impressive about this album, entitled Relapse because Eminem’s back to rapping about drugs, is the last song. It’s a dark anthem led by rain, thunder, apocalyptic chords, angels singing and the rapper rapping on a level he hasn’t reached in almost a decade. It nears lyrical perfection if, like me, you happen to be into psychopathic poetry that punches morality in the face at almost every other bar. Assuming the verses are all new, as opposed to mere tweaks of previously unreleased ones he wrote years ago, it’s an epic return to form and exciting surprise for long-time fans who didn’t think Eminem could still rap this great.

Why he’s not rapping that great on all the other songs is the question, but, while it would take just that to match his stunning Slim Shady debut, he has managed to re-up his rap skills overall, way pass The Eminem Show and its Encore, to about the level of The Marshall Mathers LP. That means Eminem is still, or once again, the best rapper in the world of popular music. Even when the verses don’t really reflect that, Dre’s beats are usually catchy enough to fall back on. The fantastic vibes of his Same Song And Dance could be put to better use, for example, but the point is that Eminem’s vocals are good enough not to make it a bad song.

The fact that he continues to carelessly date-stamp his songs by going after irrelevant celebrities like Nick Cannon and raps with silly accents instead of his regular voice are my two major gripes with the album. Aside from that, it is surprisingly entertaining. I strongly commend the rapper for taking his subject matters back to the funny farm; portraying himself as not just a drug addict but also a rapist, serial killer and overall deviant to society. Dark art is, as far as I’m concerned, part of what makes the world interesting. Eminem, creatively rejuvenated and drugged out of his fucking mind after a four or five year hiatus, is still a master at it.

my rating : 4 of 5

2009

audio review : Recovery ( album ) … Eminem

audio review : Recovery ( album ) … Eminem

audio review : Recovery ( album ) ... Eminem

The last album was the Relapse. This is the Recovery. If we’re referring to rap skills, the titles should be switched. Relapse was a major recovery from the album-by-album degression that had him going from the best famous rapper ever to just another famous rapper. It wasn’t his magnum opus, but it was as close as he’d come in a long tme. This Recovery, created in place of what was originally planned to be Relapse 2, which wouldn’t have made sense anyway, has him taking a huge step backward.

Hard to find, after just one year, is the witty wordplay that enveloped a lot of the Relapse project. Eminem doesn’t seem to care or seem to be aware as he insists this album is better than that one. Stans who liked that album will suddenly agree, so instead of taking drugs, raping girls and killing people, he’s sticking to more socially-accepted themes like partying and telling the people he loves how much he loves them. The Proof tribute, with its cheesy synths and corny chorus, induces vomit, not tears.

The accents are gone and that’s a relief, but in their place is a stock delivery in which he yells each word as if he’s saying something impressive, which only works when he is. I want to hear him do a whole album rapping like he did on Tim Westwood’s radio show a few weeks before the release of this album. He was on with Royce Da 5-9, who would’ve been a more appropriate guest rapper here than Lil Wayne. That’s the Underground flow, which is just as angry but not nearly as boring.

Surrounding these boring monotone verses with bland choruses featuring the top pop stars of the day; Rihanna’s dry annoying voice has no business spewing hooks on an Eminem album; only make matters worse. Pink could’ve been replaced by any generic female singer and it wouldn’t have made much of a difference, but it’s an unknown singer named Kobe and the off-key way he says “yeah” on the stupidly-titled Talkin 2 Myself that stands as the album’s wackest, most cringe-worthy moment.

The album’s gayest moment is when Eminem admits, in what seems to be all honesty, to being jealous of Lil Wayne at some point during the last couple of years. That’s ironic because it’s Lil Wayne he now allows to, as Nas would say, murder him on his own shit. That’s not to say Lil Wayne’s verse on No Love is anything special, but it’s surprisingly more impressive than Eminem’s, which is basically a case of rapid-fire style over substance. I can only imagine the slaughter Royce would’ve carried-out.

The decision to abandon the traditional album skits; leaving characters like Paul Rosenberg, Steve Bergman and Ken Kaniff missing in action; may be wise, but, for the sake of conceptual continuity, their absence should’ve at least been explained in a bar or two. Without their voices breaking the flow to say what they have to say, this sounds like some kind of departure album; the new direction I sort of expected Eminem to head in last year before I was pleasantly surprised with the Shady-inspired Relapse.

He says his copy of that album is now in the trash, but I don’t care what he says. That album, even with all those silly accents, is much better than this one, which is lame and tame in comparison. Did I mention that you can hear Rihanna’s dry annoying voice on one of the songs? If Relapse weren’t released just a year ago, I’d think Eminem has lost his edge and is on his way to becoming one of the gay pop fluff artists he used to make fun of. Listening to Going Through Changes, perhaps he is.

“Critics never got nothing nice to say,” the high school dropout complains, but that’s not true. His albums are often praised by critics. Many would put The Marshal Mathers LP among the best rap albums of all time. The idiots at Rolling Stone even went back and upped their four-star rating to five. So I’ll add about this album that the first song is good and there are some knockout punchlines sprinkled about. The “flying-crayon/nine-grand” rhyme scheme is classic Eminem. That’s about it.

my rating : 3 of 5

2010

audio review : My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy ( album ) … Kanye West

audio review : My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy ( album ) ... Kanye West

With songs eight and nine minutes long, this album goes for grand and epic rather than Dark and Twisted, but it’s all the same in the world of Kanye West. He’s grown from a mere College kid to one of the brightest stars modern pop music has to offer. Conventional verses and choruses aren’t enough. These songs, laced with some of his most ambitious beats, aren’t bound by the rules of standard rap music.

There are choruses and bridges where you don’t expect them to be, rhapsodic alterations in the arrangement of the music itself, guest artists squeezed-in for the hell of it and… What’s with all these lo-fi effects on Kanye’s voice? I don’t know, but, unlike the Autotune vocoder abuse happening on 808s And Heartbreak, it works, giving the album a refreshingly raw and unpolished demo session type of feel.

It’s the old-school hip-hop drums that may never go out of style and Kanye West’s rap skills that keep things interesting between the singing. I’d rather not hear Rihanna’s whiny voice, Nicki Minaj and Rick Ross should be limited to one song each, the interludes should be tracked with the songs they go with, Power is weak and the Yeezy nickname sounds gay, but this still might be the best West album so far.

The annoying skits are long gone, so a good chunk of the album, which includes only eleven actual songs, is consistently on-point. That streak starts with a three-headed Monster featuring Jay-Z. He can also be heard on the next song, So Appalled, where Rza makes a pleasantly surprising feature. Then it’s on to the Devil In A New Dress; a hot chick whose 1970s-inspired theme sounds like vintage Kanye West.

Perhaps the most endearing part of his Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy comes at the end of The Blame Game where a semi-funny Chris Rock engages in a dialogue with what is supposed to be his girlfriend. She sounds either awkwardly copy-and-pasted, retarded or drugged out of her fucking mind, but it’s cute how she says what she says. The background piano music on this song is indeed beautiful.

my rating : 4 of 5

2010

audio review : Late Registration ( album ) … Kanye West

audio review : Late Registration ( album ) ... Kanye West

Following the formula that made his debut album a success story, literally if you let the last track play out, College Dropout Kanye West takes us back to school with an all-new album. Well, it’s not “all” new. A lot of this music has been around for decades. That’s the fact this self-proclaimed hip-hop “legend” in the making has to thank more than anything else. West has a remarkable knack for lacing classic soul samples over modern beats flawlessly enough to create his own brand of ghetto funk, in other words, but the “own” part is up for debate.

You can’t deny the originality of the raps. His skills are still middle-class; compare for example his Drive Slow verse to the Iller one Eminem spit over the same sample for his Slim Shady EP; but he shares his thoughts on these songs with the kind of sloppy honesty you’d (I’d) like to hear on rap albums more often. This semester has him turning his nose up to the freshmen; “since Pac passed away, most you rappers don’t even deserve a track from me,” he boasts as if he’s been on top for a decade; but that’s just what fame and fortune does to some people.

His take of Diamonds isn’t what you may think though. And when he sees a Gold Digger, a young black woman who “ain’t messing with no broke niggas”, he’s using the gritty drive of the drums to egg her on. This is “black” music, after all, Crack Music to drop out of college and register late to, for what he’d describe as “my” people. Even when that segregated unity borderlines sugarcoated racism, the verses aren’t outstanding enough nor is the music not brilliantly distracting enough to strike any serious nerves among the campus back-packers.

my rating : 4 of 5

2005

audio review : Brainstorm ( album ) … Young MC

audio review : Brainstorm ( album ) ... Young MC

It isn’t just another meaningless album title. Young MC really is thinking here. Some of these song concepts are quite impressive. Inside My Head is a literal lesson on how the human brain works, physically and psychologically, while Life In The Fast Lane puts him in the shoes of a kid who’s decided to walk the path of drugs. At over seven minutes long, both aim for epicness. Even the songs that aren’t really about anything are conceptualized around the fact that they aren’t really about anything. There’s an album filler entitled Album Filler, for example, though the real filler is The Um Dee Dum Song, which is just silly.

The set starts with a Love song, but it should’ve started with the next song because, while he admits to thinking about sex “more than anyone else”, girls aren’t the main theme. Young MC, hot off the Grammy-winning success of his first album, is more focused on being a positive role model and giving advice to young listeners. Keep It In Your Pants, a celibacy song, is followed by Use Your Head. His humor and good guy personality make him likeable and I am a fan of his enunciated rap delivery, but next time he should set his mind on composing catchy hooks and perhaps not finalizing an album until the Brainstorm is over.

my rating : 3 of 5

1991

the Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg concert at The Coachella Valley Music And Arts Festival

the Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg concert at The Coachella Valley Music And Arts Festival

It’s nothing but a “gangsta” party hosted by Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg with the help of 2Pac, the latter bit of which is a little unsettling. It’s a hologram, but visual technology has gotten so advanced; we’re way pass 2001; that you might mistake it for an impersonator.

2Pac should be limited to his Snoop and Dre collaborations. Letting him perform Hail Mary, a song from an album he called Dre “gay-ass” on, takes away from the show’s overall theme, as does other songs. At one point, the crowd is Jumping Around to House Of Pain.

Still, even with those flaws, the show is dope. Really. Snoop smoked a blunt on stage. Eminem and 50 Cent are also featured as surprise guests, along with other Death Row and Aftermath affiliated artists. All that hip-hop star power on one stage is a sight to see.

my rating : 4 of 5

2012

audio review : Destiny Fulfilled ( album ) … Destiny’s Child

audio review : Destiny Fulfilled ( album ) ... Destiny's Child

Beyoncé is and always was the brightest star, but all three of these girls have solo careers now. That means this could be their final album together. The title certainly suggests so. If that’s the case, they’ll be remembered, at least in my mind, for their obsessive infatuation with guys and romance. Every single track on this set has to do with those two things. When they’re not out looking for a new relationship, they’re either professing their “love” to the “boy” they’re with or breaking-up with him. That’s literally all they do. So even a song entitled Through With Love is followed by a song entitled Love.

Soldier is weak. It should’ve been limited to one rap verse by either TI or Lil Wayne. But it’s the only bad song. Cater 2 U and T-Shirt, both of which find the girls passionately in love with a guy who seems too lucky to exist, are sweeter on the ears. The next two songs are vocally overshadowed by their soulful 9th Wonder sample beats, but Kelly Rowland’s Bad Habit; the only solo on the album; sounds good. The music isn’t much, but there are melodic wonders happening during the chorus. I also like If, which does away with drums all-together and instead goes for a 1960s-style piano backdrop.

my rating : 3 of 5

2004

Pharmassure Chewable Vitamin C

Pharmassure Chewable Vitamin C

The directions say to chew one or two daily, but that’s a tough restriction because they’re so tasty. They’re chewable vitamin C tablets made with milk and a natural orange flavor. The sweet/sour taste and the powdery texture are similar to Smarties candy. It’s a good thing vitamin C isn’t harmful in high doses.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : Watch The Throne ( album ) … Jay-Z + Kanye West

audio review : Watch The Throne ( album ) ... Jay-Z + Kanye West

A lot of rappers claim to be the King, but Jay-Z and Kanye West have the success and popularity to at least provide some evidence for the claim. It’s a ridiculous claim, especially with Eminem still making records, but it’s also a metaphorical one. Bragging and boasting is embedded in the history of rap. If you can’t pay homage to your own skills, you can always focus on your money and the affluent lifestyle it affords you.

“I only like green faces,” West says in response to claims that he’s racist. Listening to such highbrow lines during one of America’s worst economic declines provides some cool dream-chasing escapism, but it’s not all bragging and boasting. There’s also an underlying theme on this album that seems to promote humanitarianism when it comes to the group of people Kanye West once said George Bush doesn’t care about.

Jay-Z hasn’t made a good album in almost a decade, but instead of being pulled up by the monster he created; Kanye West only produces one song on his own; the album comes across as an underwhelming follow-up to his Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Too many of the beats rely on familiar samples. Most of the breaks; the hooks and bridges often used to time-stretch songs that have only two verses; are mundane.

Not even Jay-Z’s sexy wife is able to Lift Off on a song in which neither rapper raps. Kanye West sings instead. Or is he crying? Jay-Z provides a mere four bars. Such little contribution makes it sound like a Beyoncé demo song she’s only come-up with the chorus for. What’s out of this world is the ending, where the generic beat changes into something enchanting. If only the whole song sounded like that.

A similar thing happens at the end of Niggas In Paris in which Jay-Z continues to borrow bars from his dead comrade; The Notorious BIG; as a Soulja Boy type of thumper beat is replaced by Kanye West zoning-out to holy chords over a rhythmic static track. It’s innovative moments like that I wish there were more of. Instead we get Swizz Beatz, stupid James Brown samples and the dreaded rebirth of Autotune.

my rating : 3 of 5

2011