This is a board book for babies and toddlers to teach them the meaning of basic words like “apple” and “dog”. The words are labeled with example pictures and mostly tacky background colors.
The order of the chapters seems random and little kids may be confused with certain words like “truck” under “dump truck”; “mobile” confused me; but I guess it does what it’s supposed to do.
my rating : 2 of 5
2005
The best thing about this Grindhouse flick is the song that plays at the end. It’s a cute ditty that fits the plot; about a stuntman named Mike who drives around in a Chevy Nova he describes as Death Proof. By the time the pretty girl in the passenger seat realizes that description only applies to him, she’s about dead.
It’s a two-part story that would be better as one. The first half, set in Texas, at least has sexy stylization going for it. It’s also overlayed with retro movie theater effects. The second (Tennessee) half, which looks more like a regular movie, is closer to a borefest than a joyride as it stalls itself in mundane dialogue.
my rating : 2 of 5
2007
This is Paranormal Activity 6, but it seems to ignore the plot of part 5, so you can watch it after 4 and not miss a beat. The year is 2013; these movies are never present day; and the Katie/Kristi sisters are back via old VHS footage, but it’s all in vain.
The Ghost Dimension, which opens to the daughter of a new family, starts decently and gets worse as it goes on. By the end, it’s a mess of bad acting and silly visual effects, the latter of which includes a hole in a wall that looks like a huge gaping anus.
my rating : 2 of 5
2015
“You don’t have to tell me every time you pick one up,” Eeyore groans to Christopher Robin, who’s been finding acorn shells in the forest. It’s one of the rare times the movie’s constant attempts at being funny actually succeed. The plot, which plays between Robin’s family life and his job as an efficiency expert at a luggage company, is mostly silly.
my rating : 2 of 5
2018
Nancy is a woman who, after watching a news report about a Girl Still Missing After 30 Years, makes contact with the parents to say she might be their long-lost daughter. The mother invites her into their home, even going as far as to refer to the daughter as “you”, as they await the results of a DNA test.
That last bit is the one thing this tedious tale has going for it. The wait brings with it a certain level of anticipation. Is she their kidnapped daughter or not? That’s the big question. Once the answer is revealed, a little too early and anticlimactically, the story has nothing interesting to do with its protagonist.
my rating : 2 of 5
2018
This is just what the world needed; another Halloween backtrack. I say that sarcastically, of course, as it’s gotten absurd how many times previous narratives are flatly ignored in favor of new ones. They’re all based around a town in Illinois called Haddonfield and this one, the third simply titled Halloween, plays not as a remake but a direct sequel to the 1978 original. It continues the tradition of being set in real time though, so it’s forty years later.
That means Michael Myers is old. The gray hair on his balding head is shown within the first few minutes, which not only makes him less scary but stretches the believability of a plot that has him overpowering younger men and women without throwing out his back. If he’s inhuman, as the bullets he endures suggests, why does he age and breathe like one? There I go trying to apply logic to a cohort of Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger.
Jamie Lee Curtis is back as Laurie Strode; she returns every twenty years; but it’s all in vain. This sequel is basically H20 2.0 as it builds to a final showdown between the gun-toting Laurie and her knife-wielding nemesis. It’s Grandpa versus Grandma, except Grandma has the help of her daughter and granddaughter. Rob Zombie’s Halloween remains the best and only good movie in a series that should’ve ended long before even that movie was made.
my rating : 2 of 5
2018
![video review : Halloween : H20 [ 20 Years Later ]](https://marcellee.com/posts/76945.jpg)
Taking a cue from her brother, Laurie from the original Halloween of 1978 is back. She faked her death, she says in a plot reveal made unnecessary since this seemingly final episode, number 7, seems to ignore every other one after 2. That means daughter Jamie apparently never existed. However, Laurie does have a son. He’s 17 and attends the California boarding school she works at.
How an infamous murderer who wears a mask and doesn’t speak travels from Illinois to California undetected is anyone’s guess, but these movies never make sense in regard to Michael Myers. It’s all about the thrill of the kill. That leads to an epic (nostalgic) showdown between he and Laurie. None of the Halloween movies are good, but this one, while bad, might be the best since the first two.
my rating : 2 of 5
1998
Halloween 5 goes with 4 like 2 goes with 1. It’s just that the latter set, while easily superior to the abysmal departure of 3, is markedly worse than the former.
What started as a simple Bogeyman story is now a conceptual mess. Michael Myers, still on the hunt for Jamie, suddenly communicates via telepathy.
my rating : 2 of 5
1989
![video review : Halloween 4 [ The Return Of Michael Myers ]](https://marcellee.com/posts/76912.jpg)
Letting the world know in the subtitle that Michael Myers is back has more to do with marketing than the art of storytelling. Halloween 3 is a travesty to the series. 4 attempts a turn around. While it is better than Season Of The Witch, it’s a feeble effort.
The Return Of Michael Myers, which has the Evil killer going after Laurie Strode’s daughter; the child’s mother and father are apparently dead; comes across like a cheap made-for-TV knockoff. Even Michael’s mask is less menacing this time around.
my rating : 2 of 5
1988
E-40 does have, as the idiom goes, the gift of gab. He had it better in his younger days. Go back and listen to how he changed his delivery and flow from song to song on The Element Of Surprise, Charlie Hustle and Loyalty/Betrayal albums. Even today the rapper usually has something interesting to say. It’s his lack of skill when it comes to overall song-making that’s been his aesthetic downfall.
This album, reportedly the first in yet another set; this one having to do with defining the title of each entry with a mock dictionary site or app cover picture; is about as weak as his last several. That includes the B-Legit and Too Short collaboration albums. These Days, featuring Yhung TO, is a minor highlight, but most of the beats and especially the lazy (ass) hooks are notably inferior to the verses.
my rating : 2 of 5
2018
Jay-Z should’ve retired after The Black Album like he said he would. None of his albums since justify their existence. This is one of the worst. Every beat is by No ID, whose choppy sample-dependent production has the tendency to annoy.
If there’s one song you should rip “off Tidal”, it’s Smile; a feel-good retrospection that owes its life to a Stevie Wonder ballad. Listen to the title cut if you care to hear Jay-Z’s response to the tea, or Lemonade, his wife spilled last year.
my rating : 2 of 5
2017
The normal songs are decent; My Jimmy even adds a nice chorus to the mix; but they’re not good enough to justify the rest of this album; abstract bits of experimental rubbish. There’s even a track called Spittin Wicked Randomness.
Lyrically The Jungle Brothers don’t sound much different than they did four years back when they dropped their comparatively classic Forces Of Nature set. What happened to their musical focus between then and now is anybody’s guess.
my rating : 2 of 5
1993