Nicki Minaj’s physical appearance

Nicki Minaj's physical appearance Nicki Minaj's physical appearance Nicki Minaj's physical appearance Nicki Minaj's physical appearance Nicki Minaj's physical appearance Nicki Minaj's physical appearance

Nicki Minaj can’t fool me. She has a sexy even if cosmetically altered body with a round ass I’d love to get into, but I’m more into nice faces than nice bodies and all the caked-on makeup in the world can’t fool me into thinking she looks anything better than ghetto average.

She’s apparently going for the black, or brown, Barbie doll look. And, as far as pop culture’s fake fashion world goes, I guess it’s working for her. But when it comes to real physical beauty; the kind you’re born with as opposed to the kind you brush on; it’s counterproductive.

I’m not going to say her face necessarily looks like that of a transexual man because it doesn’t, but it looks more like one than most girls I see. That’s mainly because of the pointy nose and prominent jawbone, which contradict the cute femininity her marketed image suggests.

She’s not afraid to make a crazy face or widen her eyes to cartoonish proportions on camera, and those unguarded lapses go to her credit, but I’d like to see her go all-natural by washing off all that ridiculous make-up and ridding herself of all the phony accessories.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : Recovery ( album ) … Eminem

audio review : Recovery ( album ) ... Eminem

The last album was the Relapse. This is the Recovery. If we’re referring to rap skills, the titles should be switched. Relapse was a major recovery from the album-by-album degression that had him going from the best famous rapper ever to just another famous rapper. It wasn’t his magnum opus, but it was as close as he’d come in a long tme. This Recovery, created in place of what was originally planned to be Relapse 2, which wouldn’t have made sense anyway, has him taking a huge step backward.

Hard to find, after just one year, is the witty wordplay that enveloped a lot of the Relapse project. Eminem doesn’t seem to care or seem to be aware as he insists this album is better than that one. Stans who liked that album will suddenly agree, so instead of taking drugs, raping girls and killing people, he’s sticking to more socially-accepted themes like partying and telling the people he loves how much he loves them. The Proof tribute, with its cheesy synths and corny chorus, induces vomit, not tears.

The accents are gone and that’s a relief, but in their place is a stock delivery in which he yells each word as if he’s saying something impressive, which only works when he is. I want to hear him do a whole album rapping like he did on Tim Westwood’s radio show a few weeks before the release of this album. He was on with Royce Da 5-9, who would’ve been a more appropriate guest rapper here than Lil Wayne. That’s the Underground flow, which is just as angry but not nearly as boring.

Surrounding these boring monotone verses with bland choruses featuring the top pop stars of the day; Rihanna’s dry annoying voice has no business spewing hooks on an Eminem album; only make matters worse. Pink could’ve been replaced by any generic female singer and it wouldn’t have made much of a difference, but it’s an unknown singer named Kobe and the off-key way he says “yeah” on the stupidly-titled Talkin 2 Myself that stands as the album’s wackest, most cringe-worthy moment.

The album’s gayest moment is when Eminem admits, in what seems to be all honesty, to being jealous of Lil Wayne at some point during the last couple of years. That’s ironic because it’s Lil Wayne he now allows to, as Nas would say, murder him on his own shit. That’s not to say Lil Wayne’s verse on No Love is anything special, but it’s surprisingly more impressive than Eminem’s, which is basically a case of rapid-fire style over substance. I can only imagine the slaughter Royce would’ve carried-out.

The decision to abandon the traditional album skits; leaving characters like Paul Rosenberg, Steve Bergman and Ken Kaniff missing in action; may be wise, but, for the sake of conceptual continuity, their absence should’ve at least been explained in a bar or two. Without their voices breaking the flow to say what they have to say, this sounds like some kind of departure album; the new direction I sort of expected Eminem to head in last year before I was pleasantly surprised with the Shady-inspired Relapse.

He says his copy of that album is now in the trash, but I don’t care what he says. That album, even with all those silly accents, is much better than this one, which is lame and tame in comparison. Did I mention that you can hear Rihanna’s dry annoying voice on one of the songs? If Relapse weren’t released just a year ago, I’d think Eminem has lost his edge and is on his way to becoming one of the gay pop fluff artists he used to make fun of. Listening to Going Through Changes, perhaps he is.

“Critics never got nothing nice to say,” the high school dropout complains, but that’s not true. His albums are often praised by critics. Many would put The Marshal Mathers LP among the best rap albums of all time. The idiots at Rolling Stone even went back and upped their four-star rating to five. So I’ll add about this album that the first song is good and there are some knockout punchlines sprinkled about. The “flying-crayon/nine-grand” rhyme scheme is classic Eminem. That’s about it.

my rating : 3 of 5

2010

audio review : Brainstorm ( album ) … Young MC

audio review : Brainstorm ( album ) ... Young MC

It isn’t just another meaningless album title. Young MC really is thinking here. Some of these song concepts are quite impressive. Inside My Head is a literal lesson on how the human brain works, physically and psychologically, while Life In The Fast Lane puts him in the shoes of a kid who’s decided to walk the path of drugs. At over seven minutes long, both aim for epicness. Even the songs that aren’t really about anything are conceptualized around the fact that they aren’t really about anything. There’s an album filler entitled Album Filler, for example, though the real filler is The Um Dee Dum Song, which is just silly.

The set starts with a Love song, but it should’ve started with the next song because, while he admits to thinking about sex “more than anyone else”, girls aren’t the main theme. Young MC, hot off the Grammy-winning success of his first album, is more focused on being a positive role model and giving advice to young listeners. Keep It In Your Pants, a celibacy song, is followed by Use Your Head. His humor and good guy personality make him likeable and I am a fan of his enunciated rap delivery, but next time he should set his mind on composing catchy hooks and perhaps not finalizing an album until the Brainstorm is over.

my rating : 3 of 5

1991

audio review : Destiny Fulfilled ( album ) … Destiny’s Child

audio review : Destiny Fulfilled ( album ) ... Destiny's Child

Beyoncé is and always was the brightest star, but all three of these girls have solo careers now. That means this could be their final album together. The title certainly suggests so. If that’s the case, they’ll be remembered, at least in my mind, for their obsessive infatuation with guys and romance. Every single track on this set has to do with those two things. When they’re not out looking for a new relationship, they’re either professing their “love” to the “boy” they’re with or breaking-up with him. That’s literally all they do. So even a song entitled Through With Love is followed by a song entitled Love.

Soldier is weak. It should’ve been limited to one rap verse by either TI or Lil Wayne. But it’s the only bad song. Cater 2 U and T-Shirt, both of which find the girls passionately in love with a guy who seems too lucky to exist, are sweeter on the ears. The next two songs are vocally overshadowed by their soulful 9th Wonder sample beats, but Kelly Rowland’s Bad Habit; the only solo on the album; sounds good. The music isn’t much, but there are melodic wonders happening during the chorus. I also like If, which does away with drums all-together and instead goes for a 1960s-style piano backdrop.

my rating : 3 of 5

2004

audio review : Watch The Throne ( album ) … Jay-Z + Kanye West

audio review : Watch The Throne ( album ) ... Jay-Z + Kanye West

A lot of rappers claim to be the King, but Jay-Z and Kanye West have the success and popularity to at least provide some evidence for the claim. It’s a ridiculous claim, especially with Eminem still making records, but it’s also a metaphorical one. Bragging and boasting is embedded in the history of rap. If you can’t pay homage to your own skills, you can always focus on your money and the affluent lifestyle it affords you.

“I only like green faces,” West says in response to claims that he’s racist. Listening to such highbrow lines during one of America’s worst economic declines provides some cool dream-chasing escapism, but it’s not all bragging and boasting. There’s also an underlying theme on this album that seems to promote humanitarianism when it comes to the group of people Kanye West once said George Bush doesn’t care about.

Jay-Z hasn’t made a good album in almost a decade, but instead of being pulled up by the monster he created; Kanye West only produces one song on his own; the album comes across as an underwhelming follow-up to his Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Too many of the beats rely on familiar samples. Most of the breaks; the hooks and bridges often used to time-stretch songs that have only two verses; are mundane.

Not even Jay-Z’s sexy wife is able to Lift Off on a song in which neither rapper raps. Kanye West sings instead. Or is he crying? Jay-Z provides a mere four bars. Such little contribution makes it sound like a Beyoncé demo song she’s only come-up with the chorus for. What’s out of this world is the ending, where the generic beat changes into something enchanting. If only the whole song sounded like that.

A similar thing happens at the end of Niggas In Paris in which Jay-Z continues to borrow bars from his dead comrade; The Notorious BIG; as a Soulja Boy type of thumper beat is replaced by Kanye West zoning-out to holy chords over a rhythmic static track. It’s innovative moments like that I wish there were more of. Instead we get Swizz Beatz, stupid James Brown samples and the dreaded rebirth of Autotune.

my rating : 3 of 5

2011

audio review : Death Threatz ( album ) … MC Eiht

audio review : Death Threatz ( album ) ... MC Eiht

I think it’s safe to say the most anticipated song on this album is MC Eiht’s official response to Dollars And Sense; the song DJ Quik, as far as a lot of rap fans are concerned, verbally destroyed him on. The diss, featured on both Snoop Dogg’s Murder Was The Case compilation and DJ Quik’s Safe And Sound album, was a direct response to Def Wish 3 from MC Eiht’s previous release. While it may be a wise marketing move to start this album with Death Wish 4, so that people can hear it right away, it also comes across as somewhat of an artistic blunder.

Why is he so consumed with DJ Quik? He’s basically dedicating an entire album to him. At least that’s what putting the diss at the beginning and titling the album Death Threatz suggests. To make matters worse, the song doesn’t really deliver. The beat is funky and danceable, but a funky danceable beat doesn’t exactly fit the concept. Besides, it’s too little too late. The MC simply doesn’t have the rap skills to match the DJ, as odd or ironic as that may seem. He seems to know it as he alleges some other “motherfucker” wrote Quik’s verses.

From there it’s business as usual. Quik was right when he said “bitches” don’t (generally) jock MC Eiht’s “shit” and that’s okay. This is thug music for thug “niggas”, but, as much as he raps about guns, it’s the beats that bang the most. That’s probably why they’re allowed to play on sometimes long after the vocals have ended. They don’t quite have the elegant sheen of the Strapped album, but they’re close enough. The Endoness, which provides a dose of conceptual creativity for a change, and the sequel to Late Night Hype are especially remarkable.

my rating : 3 of 5

1996

video review : Above The Rim

video review : Above The Rim

This is a basketball movie, but the most uninteresting parts are when people are playing basketball. There’s a lot of shout-cued interpersonal drama happening elsewhere. The story centers around a skilled high school player on the verge of a scholarship to Georgetown University and a side-story involving his mother’s new boyfriend; a former player who missed his chance. Elsewhere is where you’ll have to focus for shots of entertainment. That’s assuming you can get pass all the overacting and pointless violence.

my rating : 3 of 5

1994

audio review : Discipline ( album ) … Janet Jackson

audio review : Discipline ( album ) ... Janet Jackson

When I found out that, for the first time since taking Control in 1985, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis weren’t contributing to the new Janet Jackson album, I thought, “This Can’t B Good.” It’s not. The duo; they share production credit, I suspect, even when working solo; are almost as responsible as Janet herself for making her albums good for so long. Leaving them now, as if they’re responsible for her recent decline in sales, is somewhat of a musical abomination.

Initially it doesn’t really sound like much of a loss. The music generally has a cheaper and less dynamic sound; Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis really are geniuses when it comes to composing modern soul music; but their absence isn’t instantly noticeable. Rodney Jerkins, the album’s lead producer just ahead of Jermaine Dupri, has improved a lot since his contribution to brother Michael Jackson’s Invincible project from 2001, but he’s still a poor man’s Jimmy Lewis.

Not that it’s all about beats. The vocals are supposed to be the main attraction on a Janet Jackson album and they are generally the best parts here. She didn’t help compose any of these songs, another first since Control, but her vocals still carry a better-than-average sense of melody. I’m starting to wonder if that has more to do with her voice itself, but this is still her worst album since… well, since I started listening to Janet Jackson albums.

I like The Velvet Rope, All For You, Damita Jo and 20 YO. Discipline initially sounds like those right down to the spoken-word Interludes that envelope nearly every song. Then comes the realization that the songs aren’t exactly up to par. Rock With U is a sexy dance groove that manages to outstrobe the one on Off The Wall, but most of the other songs aren’t good enough to hold-up to the standard she’s either intentionally or incidentally set for herself.

Conceptually it’s still about tender romance and raunchy sex, but this time her libido dabbles into surprising territory. The title song is a fetishistic role play that is masochistic, incestuous and even pedophilic. “Daddy, make me cry,” she whispers, leather-bound and in total submission. She’s begging to be punished, or Disciplined, for the crime of “touching” herself even though he told her not to. I can imagine the Jackson family shrink listening in horror.

my rating : 3 of 5

2008

Alex And Me ( book ) … Irene Pepperberg

Alex And Me ( book ) ... Irene Pepperberg

Alex was a parrot; perhaps the most intelligent parrot to ever live; thanks to years of extensive training at the hands of his owner; scientist and animal cognition professor Irene Pepperberg. She, along with her team of researchers, taught the bird not only to talk but also to understand language and numerical concepts up to about the level of a five-year-old human, which opened doors to new study in the field. In a nutshell, what Alex showed the world is that “bird brain” isn’t such a disparaging term after all.

This book; a memoir; covers the thirty years Irene spent working with Alex without bogging readers down in scientific explanations. The learning experiments she conducted are covered in simple terms and, aside from a few irrelevant details regarding her career struggles, pages fly along fairly interestingly. What’s amazing if true, of course, are the little, often humorous, anecdotes of Alex and his intellectual antics; accounts of him doing things popular science says birds simply shouldn’t be able to do.

my rating : 3 of 5

2008

N ( story ) … Stephen King

The title is the first letter of a man’s name; a psychiatric patient who suffers from an extreme case of OCD. He fixates on counting, touching and ordering things; mundane objects like shoes and plates; in an effort to avoid odd numbers, which are a terrible thing, thus maintaining the order of the world. His mind didn’t always work that way, of course, and it’s how he got that way that gives the story its eerie undertone.

I like that it’s written not as a traditional narrative but a series of case notes, news articles, personal letters and emails from the perspective of four characters who ultimately have a lot in common. What I don’t like is that most of those manuscripts ramble on with meticulous detail in signature Stephen King fashion. In the end, it’s a novella that, though interesting, could’ve been much better if it were more concise.

my rating : 3 of 5

2008

N ( story ) ... Stephen King

video review : The Strangers

video review : The Strangers

You’re not always safe at home. That’s the lesson here. It’s a story about home invasion as a trio of masked killers visit the summer house of James and Kristen, a couple romantically involved but unmarried. It’s almost morning but still dark. If there are neighbors within screaming range, they’re probably asleep. It’s a terrific setting for a horror movie.

That horror begins interestingly enough but stalls itself all the way to the end. The killers seem to realize they’re in a movie, so they play around with their victims, appearing then disappearing, in what seems like a collaborative effort to stall time. It’s an effective technique at first; loud knocks are scary at night; but the threat wears thin after a while.

my rating : 3 of 5

2008

Angelina Jolie’s physical appearance

Angelina Jolie's physical appearance Angelina Jolie's physical appearance Angelina Jolie's physical appearance Angelina Jolie's physical appearance Angelina Jolie's physical appearance Angelina Jolie's physical appearance

She’s considered by many to be one of the most beautiful celebrities when it comes to physical appearance, but I’m not one of those people. She’s not an ugly woman by any means; she might even look better when she’s not hiding her face under makeup; but she’s far from the most beautiful. Her collagen-like lips are actually a minor flaw to me. The dent is distracting. She does have some sexy cat eyes.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012