Category: reviews

audio review : Is It Scary ( song ) … Michael Jackson

It isn’t scary, but neither is Thriller. It’s hard to make a song scary in a horror kind of way without a scary video to accommodate it. Michael Jackson has, however, managed to once again create a song that is truly spectacular. It’s actually a musical and conceptual recomposition of Ghosts, evident by the fact that their verses are quite similar and hinted at by the fact that they play-out one after the other on the Blood On The Dance Floor album. It’s an awesome set, but this song is better. There’s just no matching Michael Jackson on the chorus.

“Is it scary for you,” it goes; a question phrased in a way I can’t make grammatical sense of. A “too” before “scary” would fix it. A “to” instead of “for” would be even better. As is, it sounds like a lyrical mistake on what is otherwise a masterpiece. You could say the music, a rhapsody by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, is overproduced, but I think it’s a perfect fit to Michael Jackson’s epic vocal performance. He sings, screams, hoos and makes his signature hiccup noises, projecting his voice to the point of hoarseness, in an amazing showcase of musical magic.

He’s a pop legend with a world of spectators, many of whom view him as not much more than a freak. If he’s been holding his feelings in all these years, he’s finally letting them out. “I’m gonna be exactly what you wanna see,” he says before morphing into an uglier version of the Thriller monster, “And if you want to see eccentric oddities, I’ll be grosteque before your eyes.” If you want a freak show, in other words, you got one. It’s the coda, when a lonely piano plays a haunting melody over enchanting strings, that will put a chill up your spine.

my rating : 5 of 5

1997

audio review : Blood On The Dance Floor [ History In The Mix ] ( album ) … Michael Jackson

audio review : Justin Bieber ( song ) … Bizarre + King Gordy

Neither rapper mentions putting their tongue in Justin Bieber’s ass; only their dicks; so this is only tongue-in-cheek in the literal sense. It’s a dedication to the pop star. It’s also a direct threat that goes from what they “want” to do to what they’re “going” to do to him, which includes not only rape but also murder.

With that, joke or not, the “white boy” might have a legal case if, with the ridiculous conceptualization of “hate” crimes, he decides to take the song seriously. He could say he fears for his life, and anus, but it’ll be a hard case to win given the history of King Gordy and especially Bizarre as shock value artists.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : Enjoy ( song ) … Janet Jackson

“Just enjoy the simple things, enjoy the day life brings,” Janet Jackson says, “Enjoy the gift of life.” That’s great advice, it seems, but she shouldn’t tell people to enjoy things because it’s not really up to them. It’s an automatic response. They either enjoy it or they don’t. Not that logical psychology matters here. This is a simple summer song with its head stuck in the clouds. That’s “simple” in concept. The music is actually fairly complex.

The drums and bass should be set more prominently in the mix; I’d probably add a rougher effect on the bass and pan the snares with a stereo delay; but listen for the little experimental loop that plays along with them. It sounds like a sample of some kind, but probably not. This is a Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis production, after all, accommodated by sweet lead vocals and a thick syrupy layer of backgrounds on the chorus. Enjoyable? Yes.

my rating : 4 of 5

2006

audio review : 20 YO ( album ) ... Janet Jackson

audio review : Starships ( song ) … Nicki Minaj

If you’re wondering what this has to do with starships; theoretical ships used to travel to and from stars; the answer is apparently nothing. An alien-looking girl sings about how they’re meant to “fly”, but that’s about it. This is actually a song for dance floors on planet Earth, as the flashy club music it plays upon; a mesh of European house and techno; seems to insist.

Nicki Minaj is sort of charming during the first eight bars of each verse, when it’s just her rapping, then rapping and singing, to a stripped-down version of the main melody. But the chorus sections sound like the template for a generic Lady Gaga anthem and the “higher” breaks, which distract from the flow of the song in the most annoying of ways, are a cosmic mess.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

album review : Roman Reloaded ( album ) ... Nicki Minaj

audio review : Stay Wide Awake ( song ) … Eminem

This is a journey into the mind of Eminem; not the person or the rapper in general but the dark side of his “forest”. There lives an alter ego of sorts; a deviant who enjoys raping, torturing and killing people; mostly young girls, it seems.

In a sense, he’s a real-life Freddy Krueger, but he raps a lot better. The rhyme schemes displayed here are staggering in their complexity. The music is dreamy and entrancing. It’s hard not to fall victim to the song’s seductive lure.

my review : 4 of 5

2009

album review : Relapse ( album ) ... Eminem

audio review : Heartbreaker ( song ) … Michael Jackson

The best part of this song is the bridge. “I never thought that I would stop dreaming about you, stop being without you,” Jackson sings over a layer of harmonious background crooning to the girl with the “come-get-me” thighs. It’s a beautiful 28 seconds or so near the middle of a song that would be better if it sounded more like it. The busy electro-funk beat flows along with kinetic energy, but Jackson’s verses and chorus; a simple chorus that is barely catchy; pale in comparison.

Aside from the bridge, The King Of Pop doesn’t really flaunt his crown until the end, where he does his signature ad-libs, minus the “hoo”s and “hee”s, over the final chorus section while the beat perks, twists and turns, as if it’s tryng to compete. In fact, the beat goes on even after the vocals are over in a display that’s too expeditious to dance to but dazzling nonetheless. The song doesn’t need guest rapper Fats, but, at a mere eight bars, his verse, which is decidely decent, doesn’t distract.

my rating : 4 of 5

2001

album review : Invincible ( album ) ... Michael Jackson

audio review : The Don Killuminati [ The 7 Day Theory ] ( album ) … 2Pac ( posthumous )

audio review : The Don Killuminati [ The 7 Day Theory ] ( album ) ... 2Pac ( posthumous )

2Pac sounds angrier and more aggressive than ever, as if he’s ready for war. “It’s not about east or west,” he declares, “It’s about ‘niggas’ and bitches… riders and punks.” He wastes no time categorizing the latter with rival rap peers. Biggie and Puff make the list, of course, but this time as mere afterthoughts amid an army of faceless targets. If it’s true that all Eyez are on him, he’s finally starting to crack. He can’t black them all, so when he swings, he only hurts himself by leaving his legacy an unfocused mess. None of these beefs, I bet, will mean much 7 months from now, let alone 7 years.

2Pac, a thug rapper who doesn’t have the wit or wordplay to make full diss songs that interesting anyway, is best when he’s in deep poetic thought. Blasphemy, featuring one of the only beats I’ve heard on a major record label release that doesn’t sound like it was distorted on purpose, is a prime example; though there’s a “dada” vocal loop that should’ve been set louder in the mix. Or perhaps he’s best slow-jamming with the ladies. Just Like Daddy is the album’s best song; not necessarily for its verses, but for the passionate vibes of its beat with 2Pac and a girl singing a catchy hook over it.

The way these songs, which are mixed and mastered with murky expediency, blend to and from each other gives the album a sloppy mixtape vibe. In a sense, it seems rushed, as if it’s something he felt he had to make and put out as quickly as possible. With that, it stands in dark contrast to the polished presentation of his last. That album has California Love on it, featuring Dr Dre. This one has the sequel, To Live And Die In LA, without “gay-ass” Dre. I bet the two of them would, or, depending on the depth of this “Makaveli” thing, will, have a friendly laugh about that line in 2003.

my rating : 3 of 5

1996
 

Gaz :

Cool review. I still remember getting home and putting the CD on for the first time. I had it cranked up on my parents’ Marantz stereo. I just about shit myself during the intro. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG… “You niggaz still fuckin’ talkin’? You niggaz is still fuckin’ breathin’?”

I will never forget that.

video review : The Bling Ring

video review : The Bling Ring

A few years ago, a ring of teenagers were arrested for burglarizing several Hollywood Hills homes. Many of their victims were famous celebrities. Paris Hilton was one of them. It was a story that warranted media attention and got it, but a movie? The answer is no, but here it is; a somewhat fictionalized take on the scandal, one that comes across as more of a box office cash-in than a work of art.

Sofia Coppola directs by summarizing and glamorizing. The protagonists, all or most of whom are already out of jail in real life, are stupid but trendy; annoying but cool; in a typical Californian pop-culture sort of way. When they’re not burglarizing, they’re sniffing coke and partying. That’s especially the case for ring leader Rebecca. The plot revolves mostly around her and her friend Marc.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

Cheerios

Cheerios

Eating a bowl of Cheerios is a bland affair. Almost any of its variants tastes better. The only reason to eat it is that it’s not only the healthiest among them but one of the healthiest cereals on (in) the market.

It’s toasted whole grain oats and not much else. You’d have to read the ingredients list to even know there’s a tiny amount of sugar added. It’s also GMO-free, which makes it a top breakfast choice for healthy living.

my rating : 3 of 5
 

nica :

Sorry you only grant unsweetened Cheerios 3 stars! I love them so much and am so disappointed that only the sweetened Cheerios are now available for sale in the stores here in Austria. Hard to find healthy, unsweetened cereals these days, it appears.

audio review : Sorry For The Wait 2 ( mixtape ) … Lil Wayne

audio review : Sorry For The Wait 2 ( mixtape ) ... Lil Wayne

I like No Type. It’s a conceptual cover of the Rae Sremmurd song. Lil Wayne sings the whole way thru and that’s part of why it stands out. He has a knack for subtle melodies, which makes it better than the retarded original. In fact, if this can be credited as an official Lil Wayne song, and I don’t see why it can’t, I’d place it among his best.

The rest of the mixtape is okay; his raps are still better, if only slightly better, than average; but the Sorry title theme is rather senseless. At best, releasing a mixtape to promote an upcoming album; as other rappers have also been doing lately; runs the risk of the former being better than the latter, which, of course, defeats the purpose.

my rating : 3 of 5

2015

audio review : Compositions ( album ) … Anita Baker

audio review : Compositions ( album ) ... Anita Baker

The title should be Romantic Compositions because romance is what this album is all about. Anita Baker calls it “love”, an amorous and intimate relationship between two people, and these songs are dedicated to “you”. That means every one is sang as if the man, or woman if she’s into that, is listening to a personal message. It’s nice music; imagine jazzy soul ballads floating on quiet storm clouds; but nothing to fall in love with.

my rating : 3 of 5

1990

video review : Casino

video review : Casino

This story takes place in Las Vegas back when most of the dirt wasn’t confined to its surrounding deserts. The Tangiers (Casino) is run by The Mafia, a secret organization of criminals working together for one common goal; to make money, illegally and abundantly. The figurehead boss is a guy named Ace Rothstein. It’s his “love” life, with a woman named Ginger, that stretches thin your suspension of disbelief. As wise as he is when it comes to making money, you’re supposed to believe he’d be stupid enough to fall for (trust/marry) such a leech.

The most interesting character though is his best friend Nicky Santoro, or Joe Pesci playing (basically) the same mobster he played in Goodfellas. With Robert De Niro by his side and Martin Scorsese at the helm, this feels like a sequel; a great one that does an even better job of watching relationships deteriorate over time. Non-diegetic monologues set the tone right from the beginning. Ace Rothstein is, at one point, on top of the world. By the end, it’s the two closest people in his life, and their selfish traits, that set the inevitable downfall into motion.

my rating : 5 of 5

1995