Category: reviews

audio review : Albert Einstein ( album ) … Prodigy + The Alchemist

audio review : Albert Einstein ( album ) ... Prodigy + The Alchemist

Prodigy’s real name is Albert, so he and Einstein share a first name. Prodigy isn’t nearly as educated though. His key learning experiences come not from school but from the streets of New York. He’s a thug and “thuggin” is what he does. So if you’re only interested in hearing thug music, this set shouldn’t disappoint. If you want good songs, you’ll have to go elsewhere. P’s skills are limited to rap. Even there, he’s far from “the world’s most hottest”.

What makes this album listenable are the beats, all produced by The Alchemist. It’s historically inconsistent, thus sort of stupid, to credit this as his album too when he’s only providing the instrumental music, but he is, to my ears, near the aesthetic level of acclaimed producers like Rza and DJ Premier. His music, a muddy mix of soul drums and eclectic samples, is dark and sinister; the perfect backdrop for a rapper like Prodigy to thug-out to.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

audio review : Yeezus ( album ) … Kanye West

audio review : Yeezus ( album ) ... Kanye West

I like all four of Kanye West’s regular albums; his College Dropout debut and the three that follow a similar soundscape. Even when he’s sampling old soul songs, his music represents vintage hip-hop more than anything else. Yeezus, like 808s And Heartbreak, comes across as more of an experimental departure. There is romance and sex; at one point, he’s “eating” his girlfriend’s ass; but instead of 808 drums and Autotune singing, it’s dominated by fuzzy distortion and spacey effects. They penetrate almost every cut, which shouldn’t be a problem for anyone who appreciates the genres of techno. The problem, more than the fact that the rapper never really spits a proper rap verse; his flow these days consists mostly of chanty poetry; is the lack of a catchy chorus.

One could be a savior to any of these songs. Instead Mister West, once a humble student, simply says he’s a God over and over again, emphasizing the word “am” as if to taunt his detractors. They say his ego has gotten out of control, so he makes it even bigger and even if the “God” thing is just a lazy metaphor, he compares himself to “Michael” in what seems to be an earnest assertion. If he’s referring to Jackson or Jordan, even Tyson, he’s delusional. He’s talented, but not as talented as he seems to think, so when he releases what sounds like a demo album void not only of melodic hooks but boom-bap beats, he leaves much to be desired. Too much of the music is soulless and spiritless. The Blood and Bound vocal samples are annoying. Yeezus gets no praise from me.

my rating : 2 of 5

2013

audio review : The Wack Album ( album ) … The Lonely Island

audio review : The Wack Album ( album ) ... The Lonely Island

The main problem with this album, entitled The Wack Album because insulting yourself lessens the impact of other people insulting you, is that it isn’t funny. That would be okay for most artists; some of my favorite songs are depressing; but The Lonely Island, a pseudo-rap trio who got their start on Saturday Night Live, are all about comedy. The ultimate goal here, beyond rhyme and rhythm, is to make you laugh, without any outrageous visuals to help in the process. But that goal fails with me. There are some smirk-worthy lines sprinkled about, but, as hard as it tries, almost nothing on this album makes me laugh.

These guys, if I’m judging them on what I’m hearing here, are creative but not particularly clever, ambitious but not particularly talented. Most of the beats, with a few cool exceptions like Perfect Saturday; a funky 1970s-style disco joint that should’ve been reserved for a real song by real rappers; are hackneyed. Most of the lyrics, or the jokes, are corny. A wack album? Not quite. Go Kindergarten, a mock club anthem, is, intentionally or not, a dumb noisy mess. Diaper Money is just plain stupid. But “wack” is reserved for the worst and this album, I imagine, could be a lot worse. Wacky, in a not-funny sort of way, is more like it.

my rating : 2 of 5

2013

Peanut Butter Toast Crunch

Peanut Butter Toast Crunch

The taste of Peanut Butter Toast Crunch is, at least in comparison to it’s Cinnamon predecessor, surprisingly thus disappointingly bland. It’s made with real peanut butter, the fourth listed ingredient, but it’s not quite peanut-buttery enough. It’s certainly not sweet enough, despite its sugar coating.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : You Rock My World ( song ) … Michael Jackson

The prelude; Michael Jackson and Chris Tucker having a conversation about a girl they’re supposedly looking at, though there isn’t any background noise to help set the scene; is like the skit at the beginning of Black Or White. It may be funny initially, but it’s replay value is nowhere near that of the song it introduces. Listeners of the full versions of these songs may, in other words, find themselves skipping past, or at least zoning-out on, the first several seconds. That means the songs would be better without their preludes. In the case of You Rock My World, the title of which doesn’t come across nearly as corny as it should, the song would also make more sense without it. The dialogue implies that the girl is a total stranger to both Chris and Mike, but the lyrics have Jackson already romantically entwined with her.

“It feels like I’ve finally found a perfect love this time,” he insists before going into one of his best choruses yet. “You rocked my world; you know you did,” it goes, utilizing a harmonic vocal stack similar to Ghosts, “Who’d think I’d find someone like you to call mine?” The words are trite; they read like a high school crush poem; but the vocal melodies, even on the verses and bridge, are quite awesome. The music, highlighted by dramatic strings where applicable, is a slinky soul groove that goes back to the relative timelessness of the Thriller album. Despite an unnecessary break near the end; the ad-lib peak section should take the song out; it’s producer Rodney Jerkins at his best. It’s not Michael Jackson at his best, but it’s damn close. And if the quality of this love theme is any indication, I’d guess he got the girl.

my rating : 5 of 5

2001

audio review : Invincible ( album ) ... Michael Jackson

video review : The Shining

video review : The Shining

A mother and son trapped at an empty hotel with an axe-wielding killer are the ones I’m supposed to be rooting for, but I’m hoping he chops them both to bits. Then I’ll no longer have to look at their asinine facial expressions. They’re supposed to be terrified; the hotel is also haunted by ghosts; but director Stanley Kubrick exaggerates the fact. Their grimaces alone, especially in the case of the mother; the pathetic victim type horror flicks thrive on; take away from any realism The Shining has to offer.

Worse yet is the plot, which, due to its reliance on paranormal activity; Shining is apparently a form of telepathy; is often nonsensical or, at best, confusing. Is Jack going crazy or is he really seeing ghosts? That seems like a valid question until his wife starts seeing them too. The answer should be that he’s not going crazy, but he obviously is, so it must be both, which is convenient for the plot as it’s now allowed to throw logic out the hotel room window in favor of creepiness for the sake of creepiness.

my rating : 2 of 5

1980

video review : Paranormal Activity 4

video review : Paranormal Activity 4

Cutesy interaction between a typical American family, along with the daughter’s boyfriend, are the most interesting parts of this movie; the newest in a series of what is supposed to be private Youtube-ready videos that happen to catch ghostly happenings like books and chairs moving by themselves.

It’s the paranormal activity, which revolve around the neighbor’s kid, not the family, that is supposed to be the star of the show. Instead, since it usually happens at night when nearly everyone is asleep or in the day when hardly anyone is around, it brings the plot to a comparatively dreary slowdown.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

video review : Paranormal Activity : The Marked Ones
video review : Paranormal Activity : The Ghost Dimension
video review : Paranormal Activity : Next Of Kin

video review : The Blair Witch Project

video review : The Blair Witch Project

Three filmmakers travel into the woods of Burkittsville (Maryland) to investigate folklore about a local witch, and watching them blab and bicker is interesting enough. It’s when they get lost trying to find their way back to the car that things start to get captivatingly gloomy. All the additional dread, the “witch” stuff, sort of goes against that fact. Being lost in the middle of nowhere, in the cold with a minimum amount of food and water, is scary enough. That alone should probably be the gist of the plot. Being taunted and haunted by evil spirits every night nears conceptual overkill; especially when one of your companions disappear, leaving just one other person between you and the kind of lonely dread that dominates nightmares.

It’s a movie, a fictional one presented as an edited set of real-life documentary-style video clips, but everything from the way the characters act to the brilliantly inane things they say seem almost too real to come out of just another horror script. In a sense, it is. The dialogue, all or most of it, is reportedly improvised as it would be if this wasn’t just a movie. This Blair Witch Project isn’t particularly scary, unless perhaps you actually believe in witchcraft, but it’s a compelling character study. I suspect people like this would react like this in a situation like this. Nothing, aside from the actual “Witch” stuff, seems unreal, especially at the end when all hope is lost, fear takes over and the girl starts screaming for her life.

my rating : 4 of 5

1999

audio review : Reincarnated ( album ) … Snoop Lion

audio review : Reincarnated ( album ) ... Snoop Lion

The worst thing about this album is that Snoop Dogg, known years ago as Snoop Doggy Dogg, changed his name to make it. This new change may be temporary, an alias to reflect his sudden switch from a “gangsta” rapper to a reggae singer, but it’s still silly and unnecessary. “Snoop Dogg” has a nice cool ring to it. “Snoop Lion”, which adds an awkward syllable and sounds like an ebonical way of accusing Snoop of “lying”, sounds comparatively stupid.

The songs are better. Not better than most of his Dogg songs; albums like The Blue Carpet Treatment and Doggystyle trump this one easily; but better than the name. Memorable vocal melodies are hard to find; the Fruit Juice and Smoke The Weed anthems are downright annoying; but the beats are convincingly groovy. Though Snoop often forgets to fake a Jamaican accent, this is, for what it’s worth, real reggae music. It’s just mediocre reggae music.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

audio review : Tabloid Junkie ( song ) … Michael Jackson

Pay attention to the bridge, where Michael Jackson throws a fit about “everybody” gossiping. He rants to himself, his words loud enough for us to hear but not distinguishable enough to understand, over a pulsating beat with news reports rattling-off in the background. By the end, he’s not even making sense. He’s just caught-up in the music.

It’s an unguarded display of artistry, the type that probably would’ve never seen the light of day before the History album; a song set that follows several months of public hoopla regarding the well-publicized child molestation charges he vehemently denies to this day. It also follows years of scrutiny about him being a “strange” man in general.

Some people still believe he sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber or that he made an offer to buy The Elephant Man’s bones. Both rumors are addressed here. It’s Michael Jackson’s official response to the Tabloid Junkie; anyone so hooked on reading and watching tabloid journalism that it’s gotten to the point where they believe the stories to be true.

my rating : 4 of 5

1995

audio review : History ( album ) ... Michael Jackson

video review : Seven Psychopaths

video review : Seven Psychopaths

Seven Psychopaths isn’t so much a movie about seven psychopaths as it is a movie about a movie about seven psychopaths. That is if merely being a brutal murderer qualifies a person as such. I’d argue that, outside of the pop-based pseudoscience known as psychology, it doesn’t. But that semantic debate is beside the point.

The plot reels you in from the start with two mob-style killers engaging in an interesting dialogue and never really gets boring from there. It never really gets particularly enjoyable neither, let alone as clever as it aims to be. Billy Bickle, a source of comic relief in a movie that would do better without it, is annoying. The dog is adorable.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : Of The Heart Of The Soul And Of The Cross [ The Utopian Experience ] ( album ) … PM Dawn

audio review : Of The Heart Of The Soul And Of The Cross [ The Utopian Experience ] ( album ) ... PM Dawn

Prince Be sounds like an estranged member of De La Soul, but he does more than rap. He also recites poetry and sings. It’s that latter skill layed over lush contemporary soul music that makes his songs easier on, if not more pleasant to, the ears.

If people have Heart and Soul, this is, on some aesthetic level, hearty soul music. Be, given his allegiance to The Cross, would probably attribute its tranquil vibes to his Father. The song dedicated to that God is spiritful and enchanting.

A warm Heavenly atmosphere seems to be the goal not just for After I Die but most of these songs. Memory Bliss owes its life to a Spandau ballet and Mirrors invokes the passion of Michael Jackson, but most of this album is refreshingly original.

my rating : 3 of 5

1991