audio review : Love And War ( album ) … Tamar Braxton

audio review : Love And War ( album ) ... Tamar Braxton

Tamar claims she has a man who thinks she’s the Prettiest Girl in the world, even when she “ain’t got no makeup on”, but that’s hard to believe. He may tell her that in order to taste some of her Hot Sugar, but I doubt he really thinks that and I doubt she really thinks he thinks that. You can see her face on the album photo and the mere fakeness of it suggests she’s suffering from a serious self-esteem problem. If that isn’t the case, there should be a logical answer as to why she hides her face under so much make-up, alters it with cosmetic surgery and has pictures of it altered with visual effects, and I can’t think of what (else) that answer might be.

To be fair, my little psychological diagnosis extends far beyond this particular Braxton. She is, in part, a product of her society. So she makes romance albums in which almost every song is about sex or “Love” like most other urban pop singers. Whether you like what you hear when you press play or not; it begins with a sample of a Mtume song and a quote from a rap song that sampled that song too; you have to give her a low score in the category of originality. She does better in voice. I’d rather hear her than her huskier sister Toni. But there’s not much happening here in regard to overall talent. The worst songs include Tip Toe and Pieces.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

video review : Stand Up Guys

video review : Stand Up Guys

The Guys this movie centers around are old crime buddies reunited after one, Val, is released from a 28-year prison stay, so the plot comes across as an epilogue. Their most thrilling days are far behind them, but still they manage to get into plenty of mischief in just a matter of hours. The gist is that Doc has been ordered by his crime boss to kill Val by 10-AM, something he’s only reluctantly going along with in order to save his own life. Val killed the boss’s son before going to prison, and the boss wants revenge, so if Doc backs out, he too will be killed.

That revelation brings with it a certain level of underlying tension, despite the fact that Doc immediately admits to Val what’s going on the moment he gets suspicious enough to ask about it. And tension, however weak, is a good thing. The problem is that the plot, which often runs in real time, has nowhere to go from there. 10-AM is the deadline and Doc makes it obvious he’s going to wait until then to do it, but the random things they do in the meanwhile; this movie is much better at drama than comedy; only strains the plausibility of the plot.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012

audio review : Feels Like Home ( album ) … Sheryl Crow

audio review : Feels Like Home ( album ) ... Sheryl Crow

Sheryl Crow has become a country girl since moving to Nashville a few years ago, so the title of this album can be taken literally. It’s twelve songs that are more than a little a bit country. The singer, whose brand of pop rock never really fit snug in a particular subgroup, embraces her new world with open arms.

The problem is that, genres aside, she isn’t making good music anymore. The closest thing here is an Easy summer romancer that begins remarkably similar to Tom Petty’s Free Falling. Other songs, like Waterproof Mascara and the bombastic Give It To Me, are molded with flat melodies and cornball lyrics.

my rating : 2 of 5

2013

audio review : Plan Of Attack ( song ) … Sadat X + Masta Ace

Masta Ace is a better rapper, but Sadat X’s voice and off-kilter delivery outshines him here. “Make my own rule book,” the Nubian says, “Verse and a cool hook.” He’s right about the hook. It’s the catchiest part of the song.

The beat, a New York borough banger, is produced by Marco Polo. My only real complaint about the song is the placement of the DJ-Premier-like scratch break after Ace’s verse. It should go straight to the chorus like X’s.

my rating : 4 of 5

2012

audio review : The Electric Lady ( album ) … Janelle Monáe

audio review : The Electric Lady ( album ) ... Janelle Monáe

This is a continuation of her Metropolis series, but, without the Overtures and Interludes, it would be a normal Janelle Monáe album and I’d prefer it that way. The concept, which has her playing an android character named Cindi Mayweather, is silly and seemingly pointless. The radio bits, led by the voice of an annoying DJ, are especially distractive. Not that the songs themselves are without fault.

They are technically engaging. The songstress has a knack for crafting original music that recaptures the vibes of 1970s and 1960s soul. It’s Code sounds like a lost Jackson Five ballad while Look Into My Eyes channels Lena Horne. But they don’t have the memorable melodies to match. This Electric Lady, even with guest vocalists like Erykah Badu and Prince at her helm, thrives on style over substance.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

audio review : Secretary ( song ) … Paula Cole

I’d be willing to bet a new listener my next paycheck he or she can’t figure out what Paula Cole is saying during the chorus of this song. I certainly didn’t, not before I read the official lyrics on her site. Not that it matters much. That scream session is the best part of this office sex fantasy.

Miss Cole plays the role of a secretary; the naughty type who smacks her masochistic boss in the face to make him “hard”. The climax is, as unintelligible as its lyrics may be, intensely gratifying, or at least gratifyingly intense. My only major gripe is that the first one only lasts four bars.

my rating : 4 of 5

2013

audio review : Raven ( album ) … Paula Cole

audio review : Berzerk ( song ) … Eminem

Going Berzerk is embedded in the concept, so this song is supposed to sound crazy, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. The chaotic vibe, led by rock-style breakbeats; the kind Rick Rubin used to make for rappers in the 1980s; is the one refreshing element.

The problem is the bridge and chorus, which blur the line between wacky and wack. Eminem begins interestingly enough with an impression of Ad-Rock; a throwback to “straight” hip-hop; just before this party anthem breaks down into a noisy mess.

my rating : 2 of 5

2013

audio review : The Marshall Mathers LP 2 ( album ) ... Eminem

audio review : Stay Trippy ( album ) … Juicy J

audio review : Stay Trippy ( album ) ... Juicy J

The title references mind-altering drugs. “I get high,” a soul sample says. Smokin Rollin is about puffing weed on a tour bus. “I smoke more than a hippie,” Juicy J boasts. If these lyrics are any indication, when the Memphis thug isn’t obsessing over money, he’s immersed in a world of drugs, primarily marijuana and alcohol.

That’s what you’ll need to fully appreciate this set, which works as urban strip club music and not much else. The beats bang in the literal if not aesthetic sense, but, at least when it comes to those of us whose brains aren’t warped by kush and Drank, Juicy J’s syncopated vocals and “ignant” lyrics leave much to be desired.

my rating : 2 of 5

2013
 

B. Convery :

“works as urban strip club music and not much else” i think you’ve just unintentionally sold me on this album

audio review : The Marshall Mathers LP ( album ) … Eminem

audio review : The Marshall Mathers LP ( album ) ... Eminem

The main thought that came to mind when I first listened to this LP; for me, the most anticipated rap album ever; was, “What happened?” I praised Eminem for the lyrical skills he so effortlessly displayed on his Slim Shady debut, but this follow-up brings with it a level of disappointment. The verses simply don’t measure up to the standard of excellence he’s set for himself.

While the rapper hasn’t fallen off completely, he’s now content surrounding classic bars with what amounts to filler. I’m Back, on which he commits the musical blunder of singing the chorus in the melody of the beat, has him wasting precious time in a pool of babble. The words rhyme, but what he says is a lot less interesting than anything he had to say on The Slim Shady LP.

Suddenly going from an unknown rapper to the most popular in the world, thus made an easy target for prudes who don’t believe in free speech, has apparently affected his creativity. There’s still a zany emphasis on drugs and violence, but he’s much more focused on taunting critics and harmless peers, like Britney Spears and Christopher Reeve, than composing a clever verse.

Still, Eminem at his corniest or most boring; The Way I Am is a snoozer for me; is better than most rappers. When he manages to tap into his previous greatness for whole songs, as on the Stan and Kim narratives, they stand as his best. The best verse? Under The Influence or the last one on Criminal. Both are brilliant. The point is that the brilliance on this album is spotty.

If you’ve never heard of Eminem before and you’re smart enough to know that he’s just joking when he drops a line about lifting Christopher Reeve’s legs, this album should impress. If you go back and listen to The Slim Shady LP though, you’ll realize that Eminem’s raps were a lot more impressive when the spotlight was focused on his alter-ego as opposed to The Real Slim Shady.

my rating : 4 of 5

2001

audio review : The Marshall Mathers LP 2 ( album ) … Eminem

audio review : Underground ( song ) … Eminem

This song, led by thunder and apocalyptic chords, has Eminem rapping on a level he hasn’t reached in nearly a decade. It nears lyrical perfection if, like me, you happen to be into psychopathic poetry that punches morality in the face at almost every other bar.

Faggoty faggoty faggoty Raggedy Ann
and Andy. No, Raggedy Andy and Andy.
No, it can’t be. It can’t be. Yes, it can be. The fucking
anti-Christ is back, Danny. It’s Satan in black satin
panties.

Each verse should stop at 16 bars instead of a 24-16-24 set. That, aside from the way the Relapse album ends the song with a silly Ken Kaniff skit, is my one complaint. As far as rhyming words and clever metaphors over hardcore beats go, Underground is epic.

Assuming the three verses are all new, as opposed to mere tweaks of previously unreleased ones he wrote a long time ago but never released, it’s a marvelous return to form and an exciting surprise for us long-time fans who didn’t think Eminem could still rap this great.

my rating : 4 of 5

2009

audio review : Relapse ( album ) ... Eminem

audio review : Waiting To Exhale [ Original Soundtrack Album ]

audio review : Waiting To Exhale [ Original Soundtrack Album ]

The main reason this album; the Original Soundtrack to Waiting To Exhale; sounds so cohesive, despite a different vocalist on almost every song, is that it’s arranged and produced by Babyface. On display is his knack for making sweet, sometimes syrupy, contemporary soul music; the kind in which a singer croons of “love”. In this case, it’s the joy, pain, passion and drama of romantic relationships from the perspective of black females.

my rating : 3 of 5

1995

audio review : Kaleidoscope Dream ( album ) … Miguel

audio review : Kaleidoscope Dream ( album ) ... Miguel

There are smooth dreamy vibes happening here. Miguel makes nice easy-listening soul music. When he wanders into a matching melody, as on the Use Me chorus, it makes for a nice song. Most of the concepts have to do with romance or “love”; typical for the genre. What makes the album standout a bit is its slight but raunchy emphasis on sex. Foot fetish fuck anthem Arch And Point is followed by a ballad entitled Pussy Is Mine.

my rating : 3 of 5

2012