Category: reviews

video review : Above The Rim

video review : Above The Rim

This is a basketball movie, but the most uninteresting parts are when people are playing basketball. There’s a lot of shout-cued interpersonal drama happening elsewhere. The story centers around a skilled high school player on the verge of a scholarship to Georgetown University and a side-story involving his mother’s new boyfriend; a former player who missed his chance. Elsewhere is where you’ll have to focus for shots of entertainment. That’s assuming you can get pass all the overacting and pointless violence.

my rating : 3 of 5

1994

Vanilla Ice Cream With Snickers

Vanilla Ice Cream With Snickers

This is exactly what it says; “REAL” vanilla ice cream with Snickers, as if you made it at home. The main difference is that you’d have a hard time blending yours this thoroughly, so that you get about an equal ratio in every spoonful. It’s a sweet treat; greater than the sum of its parts; the only flaw being that the hardness of the peanuts, even chopped down to tiny bits, sort of distract from an otherwise smooth and gooey chew.

my rating : 4 of 5

video review : Killer Klowns From Outer Space

video review : Killer Klowns From Outer Space

The title says it all. It’s a movie about space aliens who come to Earth to kill people. Why they have rubber noses, wear face paint and blow-up balloons is anyone’s guess, but that’s what makes it so much fun. Without the campy concept, there’d be nothing to distract from all the bad acting and technical blunders. Whoever edited the opening theme song, for instance, should be pied to death.

my rating : 4 of 5

1988

video review : Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

video review : Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

The title is awkward, but it serves as the gist of the plot. It’s a restart of a franchise that began with Franklin Schaffner’s Planet Of The Apes in 1968. Of course, by now, cinematic technology is such that the apes; every one of which is computer-generated using Weta Digital motion capture; look even more alive than they do in real life. The story itself, which revolves around a brain-enhancing retrovirus, isn’t quite as believable, but it is thoroughly entertaining.

This “Planet”, by the way, isn’t in some far-away galaxy. It’s planet Earth. And the story is set during the present time. That means it’s a given that these apes; physically stronger and genetically altered to be even more intelligent than humans; are going to take over as the rulers of the world. The suspense lies in how that happens, which begins with chimpanzees being hunted and captured in the Congo jungle and sold to pharmaceutical labs for testing.

It’s when the lead scientist; a man named Will Rodman; rescues a cute baby from being euthanized by taking it home with him; à la Gremlins; that things start to get interesting. It lives with him and his father, who’s suffering from Alzheimer’s; a disease the scientist proposes the experimental retrovirus might develop into a cure for; growing older and getting smarter, until something goes wrong and it has to be sent away to a sanctuary… with other apes.

From there, it’s an evolution revolution that leads to escape and quite an amazing movie climax. Yes, that final third or fourth is the best part as wild apes unite not necessarily to take over the world at this point but to free themselves from captivity. So they raid public places, causing mass hysteria; the zoos are a primary target; all the while exposing more and more apes to the brain-enhancing retrovirus; a process that itself spreads like a virus.

There’s an ape-versus-human showdown on The Golden Gate Bridge, where police set-up a barricade in an effort to stop the apes, but the police don’t stand a chance. What the humans need, in order to preserve their status as the rulers of the world, is the military. And that, quite literally, means war; an interspecific war of the world. But this is only the prelude. So it’s a war you’re left very-much anticipating by the end of this science-fiction epic.

my rating : 5 of 5

2011

video review : Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes
video review : War For The Planet Of The Apes

audio review : Discipline ( album ) … Janet Jackson

audio review : Discipline ( album ) ... Janet Jackson

When I found out that, for the first time since taking Control in 1985, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis weren’t contributing to the new Janet Jackson album, I thought, “This Can’t B Good.” It’s not. The duo; they share production credit, I suspect, even when working solo; are almost as responsible as Janet herself for making her albums good for so long. Leaving them now, as if they’re responsible for her recent decline in sales, is somewhat of a musical abomination.

Initially it doesn’t really sound like much of a loss. The music generally has a cheaper and less dynamic sound; Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis really are geniuses when it comes to composing modern soul music; but their absence isn’t instantly noticeable. Rodney Jerkins, the album’s lead producer just ahead of Jermaine Dupri, has improved a lot since his contribution to brother Michael Jackson’s Invincible project from 2001, but he’s still a poor man’s Jimmy Lewis.

Not that it’s all about beats. The vocals are supposed to be the main attraction on a Janet Jackson album and they are generally the best parts here. She didn’t help compose any of these songs, another first since Control, but her vocals still carry a better-than-average sense of melody. I’m starting to wonder if that has more to do with her voice itself, but this is still her worst album since… well, since I started listening to Janet Jackson albums.

I like The Velvet Rope, All For You, Damita Jo and 20 YO. Discipline initially sounds like those right down to the spoken-word Interludes that envelope nearly every song. Then comes the realization that the songs aren’t exactly up to par. Rock With U is a sexy dance groove that manages to outstrobe the one on Off The Wall, but most of the other songs aren’t good enough to hold-up to the standard she’s either intentionally or incidentally set for herself.

Conceptually it’s still about tender romance and raunchy sex, but this time her libido dabbles into surprising territory. The title song is a fetishistic role play that is masochistic, incestuous and even pedophilic. “Daddy, make me cry,” she whispers, leather-bound and in total submission. She’s begging to be punished, or Disciplined, for the crime of “touching” herself even though he told her not to. I can imagine the Jackson family shrink listening in horror.

my rating : 3 of 5

2008

Alex And Me ( book ) … Irene Pepperberg

Alex And Me ( book ) ... Irene Pepperberg

Alex was a parrot; perhaps the most intelligent parrot to ever live; thanks to years of extensive training at the hands of his owner; scientist and animal cognition professor Irene Pepperberg. She, along with her team of researchers, taught the bird not only to talk but also to understand language and numerical concepts up to about the level of a five-year-old human, which opened doors to new study in the field. In a nutshell, what Alex showed the world is that “bird brain” isn’t such a disparaging term after all.

This book; a memoir; covers the thirty years Irene spent working with Alex without bogging readers down in scientific explanations. The learning experiments she conducted are covered in simple terms and, aside from a few irrelevant details regarding her career struggles, pages fly along fairly interestingly. What’s amazing if true, of course, are the little, often humorous, anecdotes of Alex and his intellectual antics; accounts of him doing things popular science says birds simply shouldn’t be able to do.

my rating : 3 of 5

2008

Ball Park Franks

Ball Park Franks

These hot dogs are named after baseball park Tiger Stadium, but they taste just as delicious at home. They plump when you cook them, which causes the ends to split quicker than you might think, but that’s what gives them their juicy tender texture. Two on buns with ketchup, mayonnaise and Lay’s Classic potato chips on the side, ranks as one of the best-tasting meals I ever had.

my rating : 5 of 5

video review : Beyoncé : I Am [ World Tour ]

video review : Beyoncé : I Am [ World Tour ]

The best part about seeing Beyoncé in concert is her legs. She is sexy from head to toes; the urban prototype of a beautiful woman; and you might be surprised how cute her face is with little or no makeup, but it’s those legs that steal the show. And she knows it. So she wears skimpy outfits and exposes them to the world. Tina Turner, step aside. You’re too old. That spotlight right there is for Sasha Fierce.

The gay guys and most of the girls in the audience cheer her on for a different reason. They’re real fans, like of her music. So when she struts her stuff, a pretty loud-mouthed Diva oozing with charisma, they scream louder. Sometimes they even pass-out, à la Michael Jackson, but; while the Halo dedication, featuring a childhood clip of Beyoncé about to go to his concert, is touching; her music simply can’t compare.

I like her first solo album, Dangerously In Love, so this set starts off pretty good to me, but most of the newer songs leave a lot to be desired. I generally need catchy vocals in order to sing along, leaving it up to the visuals to entertain. That they do with quick edits and flashy stylizations. Say whatever you want about Beyoncé’s singing; I say she yells too much; you have to admit, she does put on quite a show.

my rating : 4 of 5

2010

Willa ( story ) … Stephen King

This story is best at the start as a man, stranded at a Wyoming train station with other derailed passengers, searches for his missing fiancée. Soon he wanders off into the darkness to look for her, despite the danger of being eaten by wolves or other creatures lurking in the night.

From there, a major revelation is revealed to both the reader and the character. That’s when the plot, which goes from mystery to folklore, starts to get silly. By the end, the title seems incomplete. The story is ultimately about a romantic bond between a woman and a man.

my rating : 2 of 5

2006

Willa ( story ) ... Stephen King

N ( story ) … Stephen King

The title is the first letter of a man’s name; a psychiatric patient who suffers from an extreme case of OCD. He fixates on counting, touching and ordering things; mundane objects like shoes and plates; in an effort to avoid odd numbers, which are a terrible thing, thus maintaining the order of the world. His mind didn’t always work that way, of course, and it’s how he got that way that gives the story its eerie undertone.

I like that it’s written not as a traditional narrative but a series of case notes, news articles, personal letters and emails from the perspective of four characters who ultimately have a lot in common. What I don’t like is that most of those manuscripts ramble on with meticulous detail in signature Stephen King fashion. In the end, it’s a novella that, though interesting, could’ve been much better if it were more concise.

my rating : 3 of 5

2008

N ( story ) ... Stephen King

video review : The Strangers

video review : The Strangers

You’re not always safe at home. That’s the lesson here. It’s a story about home invasion as a trio of masked killers visit the summer house of James and Kristen, a couple romantically involved but unmarried. It’s almost morning but still dark. If there are neighbors within screaming range, they’re probably asleep. It’s a terrific setting for a horror movie.

That horror begins interestingly enough but stalls itself all the way to the end. The killers seem to realize they’re in a movie, so they play around with their victims, appearing then disappearing, in what seems like a collaborative effort to stall time. It’s an effective technique at first; loud knocks are scary at night; but the threat wears thin after a while.

my rating : 3 of 5

2008

video review : Malcolm X

video review : Malcolm X

If this Spike Lee Joint, which plays as a neutral biography for three hours before suddenly transitioning into a propaganda piece, presents an accurate portrayal of Malcolm X, I don’t think his legacy deserves celebration. His mission, to lift the social oppression of the black race, was a commendable one. Racism, primarily by white people toward black people, which remains an issue today, was even more of a problem during his lifetime; the end of which happened to coincide with the end of The Civil Rights Movement; but he too was a racist. He was a brainwashed follower of The Honorable Elijah Muhammad, The Nation Of Islam and all their anti-white philosophies for a long time.

That Malcolm X may have began to shed his bias during his final chapters; it wasn’t until he made his pilgrimage to Mecca that he realized not all white people are devils; isn’t good enough. Accurate or not, Spike Lee has done a remarkable job of visually depicting the life of a man I may not have otherwise cared enough to learn about, but the man we’re supposed to be praising comes across as not much more than a buffoon. As educated as he is when it comes to the English language; he studied every word in “the white man’s” dictionary; he doesn’t seem to be much of a thinker in the way of general logic; the kind Martin Luther King had that says you can’t end racism with racism.

my rating : 4 of 5

1992