Category: reviews

Naked : Kale Blazer

Naked : Kale Blazer

“Nutrition is delicious by Nature”? I say it can be but usually isn’t. It never is when it comes to vegetables and this is a mixture of pure vegetable juice; mostly kale, which tastes nasty on its own; along with fruit juice for sweetness.

The fruit (orange/apple/lemon) part does wonders for the taste, but it’s nowhere near delicious. Neither is it disgusting, despite the presence of green pulp. Drink this as a healthy alternative to unhealthy sugar drinks that taste a lot better.

my rating : 3 of 5

video review : The Revenant

video review : The Revenant

The revenant the title refers to is a pelt hunter named Glass, the story’s most important and most annoying character. After being attacked and almost killed by a bear, an early peak as far as memorable scenes go, he’s left injured for most of the movie. His constant grunting and sighing is what irks to the point of nearly ruining an otherwise thrilling adventure.

The cinematography and choreography of the first ten minutes or so, the Indian ambush, are particularly engaging. There are underlying themes of love and war; nostalgic endearment and bitter revenge are more like it; but The Revenant is mainly a tale of survival as protagonist Hugh Glass, left for dead in the cold and snowy wilderness, fights to survive.

my rating : 4 of 5

2015

audio review : Now Hear This ( album ) … KRS-One

audio review : Now Hear This ( album ) ... KRS-One

It’s 2015 and KRS-One is still putting out albums. Why not? The MC still has a lot to say and he’s still dope enough to make me want to hear it. Listen to the Intro. Even at 50 years old, he’s above your average rapper. He’s below average when it comes to the breaks; making the melody of the hook the same as the beat is almost always a wack idea; and that’s why he hasn’t made a satisfactory album since the one he named after himself twenty years ago, but hip-hop fans should Hear This.

I’m not saying it’s good; he’ll probably never make another album that’s anything better than decent; but the verses, spit atop rugged boom-bap beats, are worth a listen. American Flag, for example, has The Teacha at the front of a History class, giving an Edutainment-style lecture on homeland racism. Invaders, a surprisingly catchy reggae tune, exposes the hypocrisy of US immigration laws. Conceptually all that’s missing from this album is a crime story and a “fresh” for 2015 shout.

my rating : 3 of 5

2015

video review : Straight Outta Compton

video review : Straight Outta Compton

I would’ve preferred a documentary, but here it is; the story of NWA in Hollywood movie form. I was never a fan of the group, but two of its members, Dr Dre and Ice Cube, went on to become megastars in their own right. The same might’ve been said for leader Eazy-E if this story didn’t end the way it did. His dying of HIV, hardly a spoiler, is only one of many highlights the bouncy script touches upon. It’s a straight rundown of the group’s career, from low class teenagers in crime-ridden Compton to famous rap stars, with more focus on the behind-the-scenes drama than the music.

Straight Outta Compton, crudely named after the title of their debut album, isn’t anything special on the whole. Its individual parts; director F Gary Gray has a knack for glamorizing life thru movie scenes; are what keep things interesting. The prologue sequence of Eazy-E getting caught in a dope house raid and a funny bit involving a groupie named Felicia are prime examples. The actors tend to overact; you get the sense that the characters know they’re in a movie; but such flaws are basically forgiven to watch the story, which hints at a sequel focused on Dr Dre’s solo career, unfold.

my rating : 4 of 5

2015

video review : Bridge Of Spies

video review : Bridge Of Spies

Bridge Of Spies, based on the real-life incident of a US spy plane being shot down by Soviet Armed Forces during The Cold War in 1960, is a case of style over substance. It’s an elegant and polished production; expect no less from Steven Spielberg; plagued by tedious storytelling. There is tension at parts, but it’s mostly a middling affair as those of us who slept in Political History class wonder, but don’t care much one way or the other, if protagonist Rudolf Abel will be set free.

my rating : 3 of 5

2015

audio review : Let The Groove Get In ( song ) … Justin Timberlake

This dance anthem is built around an annoying chant that is abandoned about three-fourths in. Just before it ends, the music, starting at about the five-minute mark, makes its grand transformation into a 1970s-style disco floater to which Justin Timberlake adds a beautiful harmonized falsetto chorus. “All night long,” it goes. That coda, when the groove finally does get in, is exhilarating. It’s a damn shame the whole song doesn’t sound like that.

my rating : 3 of 5

2013

audio review : The 20-20 Experience ( album ) … Justin Timberlake

video review : Victoria

video review : Victoria

Victoria is the name of the girl the plot revolves around, but that isn’t enough to justify the banal title. It’s not the story of her life, just two hours and thirteen minutes of it. I can say that because the movie is shot in and presented as a single take. That means everything happens in real time, no cuts whatsoever, a marvelous feat rarely accomplished before in the history of pop cinema. Of course, it wouldn’t mean much without a story that’s at least interesting. This one is poignant and thoroughly engaging.

It helps a lot that Victoria, played by Laia Costa, is both cute and charming. It takes almost an hour for the plot; she’s on an escapade with a small group of guys she just met in Berlin; to kick into gear, but it’s never boring. That’s mostly because the characters, improvised from a general outline, don’t talk or act like they’re in a movie. Though the underlying theme of romantic attraction is cliché, thus disappointing, the charming chemistry between Victoria and one of the guys (Sonne) seems genuine.

Whether or not the potential couple would do in real life what they do during the second half of this movie is another question. It seems unlikely for the reasons given, especially for Victoria, who seems to have nothing to gain in comparison to the risks she takes. But the foolhardy personality she displays early on; the initial set-up suggests her naivety will lead to gang rape; makes it a realistic possibility. With that, you’re along for the ride as a suspenseful crime drama unfolds before your eyes.

my rating : 4 of 5

2015

audio review : BB Talk ( song ) … Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus may have a cute face and sexy personality, but damn her voice is annoying. She sings okay enough; it’s her talking voice that’s a boner kill. The vulgar monologues presented here, addressed to a dude she’s in romantic “love” with, are a welcomed addition; that is to say they add stylistic value to the song; but you (I) wish it were a girlier-sounding girl talking.

The pop icon and chronic smoker, age 22, sounds 44 as she blathers about burying her head in his armpit, “which weirdly smells good”, and licking his teeth. Those disturbing images are soon replaced by a chorus that instantly catches the ear. “Fuck me so you’ll stop baby-talking,” it goes, as if he couldn’t do both, and it goes down like sweet tit milk over a funky hip-hop beat.

my rating : 4 of 5

2015

audio review : Smile ( song ) … Michael Jackson

This ballad; a cover of a Nat King Cole cover of a Charlie Chaplin original; doesn’t get interesting until the final minute. That’s when the mawkish instrumentation is replaced by a cute piano jingle.

Michael Jackson ladas, fingersnaps and whistles over what you could describe as happy baby music. It’s a shame the whole song, most of which buries itself in Saccharin, doesn’t sound like that.

my rating : 3 of 5

1995

audio review : History ( album ) ... Michael Jackson

audio review : DS ( song ) … Michael Jackson

“He’s out to shock,” MJ sings about the district attorney who tried to put him in prison two years ago, but he may as well be referring to himself. This song, from his History album, is a surprising departure for the pop icon. Michael Jackson songs have always been radio-friendly and relatively inoffensive. Even Dirty Diana handled groupie sluts with kid gloves. He takes those gloves off for DS, the seemingly ambiguous title of which represents Tom Sneddon’s phonetic initials. The “T” is changed to a “D” presumably to avoid a future defamation lawsuit.

The “BS” DA, it’s implied, has ties with not only the CIA but the KKK. But before you can ask yourself if Michael Jackson’s actually trying to play the race card, the chorus kicks back in. “Tom Sneddon is a cold man,” it goes and, as elementary as it is, it’s just catchy enough to hook you in, especially near the end of the song when the background harmonies begin. The music, led by a simple guitar riff on repeat, is tame compared to past rockers like Give In To Me and the aforementioned Dirty Diana; let alone Beat It; but it goes hard nonetheless.

my rating : 4 of 5

1995

audio review : History ( album ) … Michael Jackson

video review : Meadowland

video review : Meadowland

A man and woman lose their kid. That’s not a euphemism for death. They literally lose him at a gas station one day. The presumption is that he was kidnapped; the premise for a potentially engrossing story; but director Reed Morano ruins it by skipping to the boring epilogue. That means we’re forced to watch the parents mope as uneventful month by uneventful month goes by.

The movie focuses more on the woman, played by Olivia Wilde, as she goes down a spiral that is odd and a little absurd. Eating old cookie crumbs, smoking crack, having sex with strangers; her naked ass in the sex scene is the best part; and stalking little boys may be a part of her personality, but it seems unlikely simply losing a child of her own would make her do such things.

my rating : 2 of 5

2015

audio review : Vigilante Season ( album ) … Max B

audio review : Vigilante Season ( album ) ... Max B

If anyone’s capable of making a classic rap album, it’s Max B. That’s a conjecture that has little to do with his raps. It’s his unmatched ability to compose melodic hooks that puts him in a class of his own. Most rap songs suffer at the breaks, which is arguably the most important part of a song, but not his. He sings them with the same playful laid-back delivery and that makes him a one-trick pony, but it’s an impressive trick. Add the fact that his raps are consistently on-point, putting him at least on-level with Biggie, Jay-Z and 2Pac; the three rappers that inspired his ridiculous Biggaveli moniker; and Max B becomes a force to be reckoned with in the world of popular music.

What prevents this, his first official album, from being the masterpiece it could’ve been comes down to the song selection and the order in which those songs are presented. Max B is in prison, he’s been in prison since 2009 and he’s sentenced to be there for about 73 more years, so some of these songs have been circulating on the internet for years. But many of the ones not included here, like the classic Bang Bang Boogie, should’ve been. Tattoos On Her Ass, which confuses groupie appreciation with rap beef, is a rush of messy excellence. Porno Musik is hot. Money feels like a million bucks. Boss Don Season, in which he sings in the melody of the beat, is comparatively lackluster.

My biggest problem with the album, it’s most glaring blunder, is that its first verse isn’t even by Max B. The album, which begins with a song entitled Model Of Entropy, is basically introduced by a rapper named Young Riot, which flaws the concept right from the start. It’s a decision that probably shouldn’t bother me as much as it does; I can be OCDish when it comes to such things; but it does. Vigilante Season, even with its flaws; I didn’t even mention the mixtape-level mixing and mastering; is as “wavy” as a hurricane though. It’s about as good as I expected from an album that, unless Max B manages to go free from prison on appeal, which seems unlikely, may as well be posthumous.

my rating : 4 of 5

2011