Category: reviews

audio review : Crazy Bout Ya ( song ) … Mercedes ( featuring Master P + Ms Peaches )

The title should be Crazy About Ya, as the chorus says. That refrain is sang and harmonized by Mercedes in what for No Limit is a surprisingly lovely melody. Even her verse and bridge vocals are ghetto classy. Master P is annoying, but at least he’s relevant. He plays the role of her boyfriend, a thug whose dangerous lifestyle is starting to break their relationship apart. Ms Peaches comes in as an odd third person. She raps the role of Mercedes but mentions her own name, which makes no sense.

If not for that massive fuck-up; having Ms Peaches on the song at all; Crazy About Ya could reach classic “love” song status. For a better structural balance, I’d just have Master P do a second verse where Ms Peaches is then move and extend his monologue (talk) to the final chorus section instead of the one before the bridge. That’s all it would take. The acoustic guitars, which seem to play live continuously, from the beginning of the song all the way to the end, already sound gorgeous.

my rating : 4 of 5

1999

audio review : And The Anonymous Nobody ( album ) … De La Soul

audio review : And The Anonymous Nobody ( album ) ... De La Soul

The problem with this De La Soul album is that there isn’t enough De La Soul on it. Almost every song includes a guest vocalist and often those guests steal the show. The Memory ballad is all about the glossy vocals of Estelle. Drawn is literally a Yukimi Nagano song. Lord Intended becomes a Justin Hawkins solo before the halfway point. It’s conceptually off-putting, odd even, how many bars go by with featured singers taking the place of the guys whose album this is supposed to be.

It’s not like the songs are good enough to get away with it. The rhapsodic changes of Snoopies; it’s not this but another song that features Snoop Dogg; is jarring. Most are so-so, though it’s worth mentioning that the Trainwreck beat, while amateurish, is quirky and cute. It’s also worth mentioning that Exodus, an “outro that’s also an intro”, could be something remarkable if it’s enchanting chorus and orchestration were developed into a proper song with actual rap verses.

my rating : 3 of 5

2016
 

Machiventa :

“The problem with this De La Soul album is that there isn’t enough De La Soul on it.”

Exactly! For me the concept, guests, music, and feel of the album are incredible, it just needs more Pos and Dave! It feels like all the Kickstarter funds went into paying the collaborators and actual making of the album, with them ultimately not having enough rhymes written to compliment the music. Maybe they were going for that intentionally but it leaves me wanting to hear more of them.

audio review : Blonde ( album ) … Frank Ocean

audio review : Blonde ( album ) ... Frank Ocean

Frank Ocean is sort of annoying. It’s not so much how he sounds; though the Chipmunk voice effect he occasionally uses is silly; it’s more the juvenile things he sometimes says. An early interlude suggests he gets it from his Mom. “Don’t try to be someone else,” she commands via phone, “Be yourself and know that that’s good enough.” Generic advice like that is as useless as hot air on a summer day. What’s wrong with trying to be better than good enough? At one point, her son mentions Michael Jackson. If he tried to be (like) him, he’d be diversifying his voice by using it for more than just the whiny crooning he does on these songs.

But that’s not fair. There’s nothing wrong with a one-trick pony if the trick is good “enough”. And when it comes to whiny crooning, Frank Ocean is a talent. It’s specifically his melodic compositions that impress. A lot of people can sing well. Far fewer have the ability to compose vocal melodies people want to hear. He’s having a hard time evolving those melodies into full songs though. His previous album, Channel Orange, is better than this one. That’s not just because of the vocals but also the music. Lacking are pulsating thumpers like Thinkin Bout You and Pink Matter. Andre 3000 is back, but this time he’s rapping to a drumless piano riff.

my rating : 3 of 5

2016

Great Value Ice Cream : Two Much Fun [ Peanut Butter Cup | Cookies And Cream ]

Great Value Ice Cream : Two Much Fun [ Peanut Butter Cup | Cookies And Cream ]

Don’t get it confused. This Peanut Butter Cup is not the same as the solo one from Great Value. That one has chocolate fudge swirls. This one has peanut butter swirls. I guess they figure this one already has enough chocolate from the Cookies And Cream side, but that difference in swirls makes for a difference in taste. This one tastes significantly better, at least for those of us who prefer the taste of peanut butter over chocolate. The only chocolate found in this Peanut Butter Cup is the outside of the Reese’s-like cups themselves.

Why this superior version of Peanut Butter Cup isn’t available by itself is beyond me; I hate how it seems these companies can’t make a peanut butter product without adding that massively overrated flavor; but it’s a damn shame it isn’t. The solo Peanut Butter Cup is good. This one is great; a fact offset by the fact that it’s forced to share a carton with Cookies And Cream, the taste of which pales in comparison. Nevermind the fact that it’s hard, if not impossible, to spoon out all of one without inadvertently spooning out some of the other.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : Cool Papa Bell ( song ) … Paul Simon

This reminds me of The Coast in that a bouncy guitar melody played by Vincent Nguini is allowed to loop continuously, giving it time to massage the mind.

Papa Bell is a Negro baseball player from nearly a century ago. The song is otherwise ambiguous, though there’s a theme of happiness and well-being that’s clear as day.

The way Simon says “fun” is cringeworthy and the Heaven Finally Found bit is phonetically confusing, but this is the best song on his Stranger To Stranger album.

my rating : 4 of 5

2016

audio review : Stranger To Stranger ( album ) ... Paul Simon

audio review : Street Angel ( song ) … Paul Simon

The start of this ditty, the closest Paul Simon’s come to hip-hop since his Wyclef Jean feature, sounds splendid. “My heart goes out to the street angels,” he says over blastworthy drums, but it’s a delightful background vocal sample that sells it.

After the first twenty seconds or so, the song instantly goes awry and becomes a bit of a mess. The main problem is the structure or lack thereof, specifically the fact that Simon never properly brings back the aforementioned chorus section.

my rating : 3 of 5

2016

audio review : Stranger To Stranger ( album ) ... Paul Simon

Brunswick Sardines [ In Spring Water ]

Brunswick Sardines [ In Spring Water ]

I eat sardines not because I like the taste; I don’t; but because they’re a cheap side filler and among the healthiest foods people can eat. That said, these Brunswicks; remarkably tender fish carcasses in spring water with no salt added; are probably the best-tasting I’ve had. If you’re eating them with something runny and tomato-based, like pasta with pasta sauce, they barely have any flavor at all, which is great.

my rating : 3 of 5

video review : Unforgiven

video review : Unforgiven

Men go to war over a cut-up whore. That’s the gist of a plot that’s about as silly as it sounds, especially at the end when a previously decrepit character suddenly becomes invincible.

Clint Eastwood plays an assassin recruited by a Kid to help him kill the cowboy who cut-up the aforementioned whore, but the story lacks in the way of tension and often goes astray.

my rating : 3 of 5

1992

audio review : A Different Kind Of Weather ( album ) … The Dream Academy

audio review : A Different Kind Of Weather ( album ) ... The Dream Academy

This album begins with a John Lennon song. It’s an odd move starting a set of otherwise original songs with a cover; one that makes for immediate conceptual awkwardness the album never gets good enough to make forgivable.

There are notable songs. Waterloo, about the train station in London, is relaxing. Saint Valentine’s Day offers sweet celtic vibes and a sweeping bridge-to-chorus section. Lowlands is also nice, but most of the rest is a dreary affair.

my rating : 3 of 5

1990

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cereal

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cereal

The box boasts “no artificial flavors”. What it doesn’t tell you is that, compared to the average kid-themed cereal, there’s hardly any flavor at all. The taste; imagine Trix with less punch; is frustratingly bland. That’s partly because the ingredients list is new-age healthy. The cereal, based on Nickelodeon’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon series, gets its color from vegetable juice and turmeric.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : Respek ( song ) … Birdman

He said he “ain’t gon say it no mo”, but he’s saying it again. “Put some respect when you mention my name,” the chorus, or is that the bridge, goes. It’s “respect”, but he’s pronouncing it with a “k” where the “ct” is supposed to be because, well, that’s the walk he talks. At least that’s how he said it on a recent visit to The Breakfast Club, a popular radio show on which he felt he was being disrespected.

It was a heated encounter that went semi-viral; the incident was also recorded on video; thus the making of this surprisingly catchy song, which does wonders to help save his reputation. If the joke’s on you, in other words, it’s best to join in on the laughs because getting angry often makes matters worse. The best part is the beat, a dazzling hood thumper fans and followers can ride along to.

my rating : 4 of 5

2016

video review : Independence Day [ Resurgence ]

video review : Independence Day [ Resurgence ]

This isn’t just Independence Day without Will Smith, which would be bad enough. It’s Independence Day without the humor, wit, suspense and entertainment; a sequel so lackluster it feels more like a TV knockoff than a sequel. Most of the main characters are back, but the nostalgia is wasted. Rain, the token Asian, is cute, but the new people are just cardboard cutouts.

The plot, which introduces an ally alien sphere, is surprisingly stupid. Even worse is the dialogue, which goes from just being flat to laughably awkward as it wedges in quick-cut plot points. “Can you believe it,” a hospital worker says to a patient who appears to be sleeping, “You’ve been in a coma for 7300 days.” One more day and he could’ve slept thru this cinematic disaster.

my rating : 2 of 5

2016