audio review : Music To Be Murdered By ( album ) … Eminem

audio review : Music To Be Murdered By ( album ) ... Eminem

The title and first few seconds suggest another Relapse, but don’t hold your breath. That would be suicide. The concept here is homicide. This is Music To Be Murdered By, but it’s not the bloody horrorfest fans of that aforementioned album; I’ve mentioned it in every Eminem album review since; may have been hoping for.

There’s an Alfred Hitchcock theme, but the song concepts suggest another standard Eminem project, which has become somewhat predictable. Family therapy sessions, tainted “love” songs, an epic political anthem; they’re all accounted for. There’s also a rap boast throwback with Slaughterhouse.

Royce Da 5-9 steals the show on that one with just 16 bars; the last eight of which match peak Bad Meets Evil. That’s “just” 16 because Em rarely holds himself to that standard anymore. Of all the words he rhymes, “succinctness” escapes him. His verse is 40 bars. Better than Lord Jamar, yes, but way too long.

Eminem is a candy shell of his former self, which he seems to acknowledge, but even with these silly similes and double entendres; “I put that on everything like ranch on Neverland”; he’s better than most of his peers. That’s both a testament to how great he once was and how nowhere near great most rappers are.

The worst of this Music isn’t the verses though. Nor is it the beats, which include some bangers. It’s the hooks; the downfall of most albums. Most are okay, but Yah Yah; Q-Tip’s part is like a bridge; and Lock It Up; I hate Anderson Paak’s voice; are downright annoying. Where’s Swae Lee when you need him?

Ed Sheeran actually sounds pretty good on Those Kinda Nights; a fun dance anthem featuring Bizarre of D-12. It’s one of the album’s better songs. The beat, chorus and verses all pass an adequate level of quality. Listen to the “jokes aside” to “so am I” bit; an increasingly rare example of Eminem being effectively concise.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

audio review : Music To Be Murdered By [ Side B ] ( album ) … Eminem

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s physical appearance

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's physical appearance Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's physical appearance Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's physical appearance Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's physical appearance Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's physical appearance

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez gets a lot of flak for her eyes; people say they look crazy because of how wide she tends to open them; but it’s her horsetooth smile that bothers me.

Her face, the whole of which looks more like a mouse than a horse, is almost pretty otherwise. Wearing eyeglasses actually give her a sexy schoolteacher fetish kind of look.

With that, if we were dating, I wouldn’t make any jokes. I’d try to keep her from laughing or even grinning too much to avoid those gums. Then I could potentially claim a cutie.

my rating : 3 of 5

2020

video review : Corey Anderson versus Johnny Walker at UFC 244

Corey Anderson versus Johnny Walker at UFC 244

A lot of UFC fans, myself included, were picking Johnny Walker as the biggest threat to Jon Jones in regard to a future title loss. Corey Anderson puts a quick end to that.

An overhand right to the face is all it takes. Walker falls down and struggles back to his feet but never recovers as Anderson goes relentless with follow-up shots.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

audio review : Bomb The Bass ( album ) … Bass Bombers

audio review : Bomb The Bass ( album ) ... Bass Bombers

This album sounds as corny as the title and name of the artists; I suspect it’s an alias of Bass 305; suggest. The beats are generally mundane, but the main issue is the abundance of vocal samples; cliché DM (Records) catchphrases that litter almost every song like space dust.

The one exception is Nocturnal Emission, the vocals of which consist of nothing more than, sneakily enough, a girl or girls moaning in what sounds like sexual pleasure. That I don’t mind. The only other decent song is Woofer Wrecker; a techno party mix for said girls to dance to.

my rating : 2 of 5

1994

video review : Maycee Barber versus Hannah Cifers at UFC Fight Night

video review : Maycee Barber versus Hannah Cifers at UFC Fight Night

Turn your head during the break unless you want to see Hannah Cifers disgustingly spitting saliva and blood onto a Bodyarmor towel. That also serves as a metaphor for the beating she takes, which, to her credit, doesn’t really happen until Round 2.

When it comes to size and strength, Cifers is outmatched as Maycee Barber, who also has an advantage in speed and footwork, hops about sexily landing head kicks and elbows. Once she gets Cifers down and in deep water, the shark attack begins.

my rating : 3 of 5

2018

video review : Donald Cerrone versus Matt Brown at UFC 206

video review : Donald Cerrone versus Matt Brown at UFC 206

Matt Brown is tough and it shows for most of this fight, but a man can only take so many kicks to the head; one of Donald Cerrone’s signature attacks. They call him Cowboy, but here he plays the role of the batter in a game of baseball. Listen to the crack of the third round KO shot. Vicious.

my rating : 4 of 5

2016

audio review : Blood On The Floor ( song ) … Vee Tha Rula ( featuring Syne )

Syne sounds epic here. Assuming his parts are an original composition, I have to give him credit for presenting to the world something that has always been somewhat of a rarity; a rap song with a good chorus.

The raps themselves; two verses from frontman Vee Tha Rula; are gangsta, along with the beat, but Syne steals the limelight. “Bitch, when I squeeze,” he warns in reference to his gun, “I’ma leave the clip empty.”

my rating : 4 of 5

2019

audio review : Blood On The Floor ( song ) ... Vee Tha Rula ( featuring Syne )

video review : Nate Diaz versus Conor McGregor at UFC 202

video review : Nate Diaz versus Conor McGregor at UFC 202

It looks like Conor McGregor’s going to outclass and definitely outkick Nate Diaz easily during the first couple of Rounds of this rematch. That is until he starts to get tired and Diaz puts the pressure on him.

It’s a damn close fight; McGregor comes back with a second wind in the fourth; and it would be hard to argue with a decision victory for either guy. McGregor gets it though, thanks to his early domination.

my rating : 4 of 5

2016

audio review : Platinum OG ( album ) … Spice 1

audio review : Platinum OG ( album ) ... Spice 1

He may have been “blowing” Since 85, but Spice 1 reached his sales peak in 93. 187 He Wrote was his second of three albums in a row to go (RIAA) Gold, so yes he is a Platinum artist. Him being one of the most popular Gangsta rappers of the 1990s is why he’s now considered an OG.

What should be reassuring to longtime fans is that, from the sound of it, this album could’ve easily come out that decade. Everything from the Pac-ready beats to the guest features, including a gang of fellow OGs like Too Short and MC Eiht, suggest a sense of Thuggish nostaglia.

Nothing here nears the level of the best from that era though. That’s most obvious when the album interpolates from said era. Dr Dre, Eazy E, even singer D’Angelo gets jacked to no avail. The freshest song is the one with the oldest verse; Playas Do featuring the late Pimp C.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

audio review : Word Up ( song ) … Cameo

It wouldn’t take a whole lot of changes to make this song a classic. The singing, from Larry Blackmon’s whiny lead to the sporadic ad-libs, sounds splendid. It’s when it stops, which happens mostly in the second half, that the overall quality starts to go down.

I would’ve condensed the song by removing the spelling bit, which is silly, along with the drum sections at the beginning and end. It’s also a little disconcerting how Blackmon repeats the hook after the first verse but not the second. It should be the other way around.

Not that Word Up isn’t the jam as it is because it is. “Pretty ladies”, ugly ones too, will find it hard to stay still to it, especially when the synths and horns soar in over the beat. This is serious funk. “No romance”, no bullshit; just a groovy anthem to throw down to.

my rating : 4 of 5

1986

video review : Missing 411 : The Hunted

video review : Missing 411 : The Hunted

This Missing 411 sequel, about missing persons cases involving hunters, is even more interesting than the original, which focused on children. The hunters being much older and more experienced is supposed to be the point, but I still don’t subscribe to the notion that these cases as a whole are particularly “unusual”.

David Paulides suggests the link is paranormal; he goes as far as to suggest Bigfoot or the aliens from Predator; but that’s a long shot he never provides enough evidence to justify. Still they’re intriguing mysteries even if the question simply comes down to whether or not the people involved are telling the truth.

my rating : 4 of 5

2019

video review : Missing 411 : The UFO Connection

audio review : Jesus Is Born ( album ) … Sunday Service

audio review : Jesus Is Born ( album ) ... Sunday Service

Perhaps this should’ve come before Kanye West’s last album. All miracles aside, Jesus had to be Born before becoming King. I guess this is the prequel, although the title cleverly coinciding with a Christmas release date shouts gimmick.

The music is the kind of choir-led gospel you’ll hear in most urban churches; the ones with mostly black people in them; marvelous harmonies that rarely stumble upon matching melodies, even though they’re singing cover songs.

The best include Sunshine, Lord Works; well, the first third of it; Souls Anchored and Paradise. Those latter two are based on secular songs about sex and drugs. Sounds like somebody in the Sunday congregation needs another chat with Jesus.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019