audio review : I Got Next ( album ) … KRS-One

audio review : I Got Next ( album ) ... KRS-One

The title suggests a game of basketball, but it’s the rap game KRS-One plays best. He’s The MC of MCs; a hip-hopper in perhaps its purest form. He’s also The Teacha, so, if we’re using the sport of basketball for comparison’s sake, he’s a former star player turned coach. The big difference is that, while arguably past his prime, he just can’t stay off the court.

There’s even a song entitled Can’t Stop Won’t Stop, but it’s not about his love for rap music. It’s a tale, told from the first-person perspective, about a drug dealer who, in order to avoid going to prison, makes a deal with the police. The story, enhanced with dramatic sound effects where applicable, fits snug into the BDP canon, alongside Love’s Gonna Get You.

It’s the ridiculous abundance of skits and bits, tracked in place of full-length songs, that serves as KRS-One’s foulest offense. There are two back-to-back intros at the start, for example, and three Halftime interludes in a row, which collectively come across as album filler, especially when you find yourself skipping them for the umpteenth time.

Only about half of the tracks are actual songs. Even if you ignore the rest of the album, only about half of those songs are of any notable quality. Step Into A World works in an off-beat kind of way and Real Hip-Hop is just that, but Blowe sounds silly and the Heartbeat beat; the song features Redman and Angie Martinez; is wack. So much for the Playoffs.

my rating : 3 of 5

1997

Murray Sugar Free Cookies : Shortbread

Murray Sugar Free Cookies : Shortbread

Murray describes these as “Delicious shortbread cookie rings that kick the sugar to the curb without sacrificing flavor” and that’s right. They taste about as good as any Shortbread cookie I’ve had, though the ingredients list does include sugar alcohols and sucralose; the combination of which might be just as unhealthy as plain Sugar.

my rating : 4 of 5

audio review : Hit N Run [ Phase One ] ( album ) … Prince

audio review : Last Call ( album ) ... Morris Day

It wasn’t a good idea to start this album with samples from Purple Rain because they only remind listeners how much better Prince’s music used to be. That’s not to say this new album is bad; the OX song, June and Fallinlove2nite are worthy additions to his Hit list; just that it pales in comparison. That’s despite a consistently “fun”ky soundscape from producer Joshua Welton.

my rating : 3 of 5

2015

video review : Israel Adesanya versus Alex Pereira at UFC 281

video review : Israel Adesanya versus Alex Pereira at UFC 281

Israel Adesanya’s first UFC loss came at the hands of Jan Błachowicz, but that didn’t really count. He stepped up to test himself in a new weight class and got outwrestled, but his belt wasn’t on the line. This; getting Technically Knocked Out by Alex Pereira; is his first real defeat and it’s sort of surreal. Even the commentators can’t seem to believe it as the normally elusive Stylebender gets pummeled by what may as well be the final boss in a video game.

To Adesanya’s credit, he looks to be on his way to another decision victory; he wobbles Pereira at the end of the first round and, perhaps taking a cue from Błachowicz, even goes on to mix in some ground work; until that fifth and final round when he gets a kick checked and tumbles backward. That marks the beginning of the end as Pereira backs him up against the cage and almost leaves him “Frozen like” he did in their last kickboxing bout.

my rating : 4 of 5

2022

audio review : Last Call ( album ) … Morris Day

audio review : Last Call ( album ) ... Morris Day

Morris Day concludes his supposed final album like Billy Joel concluded his; with a song about it being the end. The metaphor of that title song has him in a club, at the bar, as it’s about to close for what’s left of the night. The Time frontman takes the opportunity to say thanks, and goodbye, to his longtime fans.

Last Call, the setting of which conflicts with the “morning” song before it, is probably the best cut here, but nothing jams like Babylove. The album, which features a surprising amount of guest rappers, stays Funkin; Girls will like dancing to these beats; but leaves much to be desired in the way of vocal melody.

my rating : 3 of 5

2022

video review : Marina Rodriguez versus Amanda Ribas at UFC 257

video review : Marina Rodriguez versus Amanda Ribas at UFC 257

This bout gets rather interesting about two minutes in, at least for us perverts, as Amanda Ribas mounts her opponent in what looks like a creative lesbian sex position and dominates her for the rest of the round. It’s Marina Rodriguez’s turn in Round 2 as she collapses Ribas with a punch to the jaw.

What happens next is quite odd. Herb Dean rushes in while Rodriguez continues to punch Ribas as if he’s about to stop the fight. Rodriguez apparently thinks he does as she starts her victory walk before realizing it’s not over. Cue comical exclamations from the commentators as Ribas gets hit twice more.

my rating : 4 of 5

2021

video review : Polyana Viana versus Jinh Yu Frey at UFC Fight Night

video review : Polyana Viana versus Jinh Yu Frey at UFC Fight Night

This fight is short and sexy thanks mostly to Polyana Viana; easily one of the prettiest women in the UFC. Jinh Yu Frey isn’t bad herself; her skin tone is perfect; but, despite a clear arm-muscle advantage, she’s outmatched here. A “beautiful” combination of punches less than a minute in is all it takes to put her on her ass. Viana then takes a cue from Yoel Romero and follows it up with a kiss.

my rating : 4 of 5

2022

video review : No Sudden Move

video review : No Sudden Move

What a confusing mess this movie is. It seems the whole thing is shot on a wide-angle, almost fisheye, lens; the cinematographer also has a preference for vignetting and dutch tilts; which, along with a vintage 1954 Detroit setting, is somewhat visually appealing. It’s the convoluted plot that betrays it.

It starts interestingly enough with a man named Curtis; Don Cheadle plays the role way too cool to the point of being unrealistic; making a sketchy “babysitting” deal with a stranger in an alley, but the suspense doesn’t hold up from there. Awkward dialogue and misplaced comedy only make matters worse.

my rating : 2 of 5

2021

video review : Jake Paul versus Anderson Silva at Paul Versus Silva

video review : Jake Paul versus Anderson Silva at Paul Versus Silva

This fight is closer than I thought it would be. I was concerned, as an Anderson Silva fan, that Jake Paul would knock him out à la the Tyron Woodley rematch, so a decision loss in a competitive bout is somewhat of a moral victory.

Silva has his moments, but it’s his lack of activity (offense) overall; he doesn’t really start fighting until the second round; that costs him the bout. Paul is busier and lands more punches, including a big knockdown near the end.

my rating : 3 of 5

2022

Beach Cliff Sardines [ In Soybean Oil With Hot Green Chilies ]

Beach Cliff Sardines [ In Soybean Oil With Hot Green Chilies ]

The Green Chilies come in bits, so they aren’t as Hot or distracting as you might anticipate. Still they’re a superfluous addition to what is ultimately a decent side dish. I prefer water; what base could be more appropriate for Sardines; but one benefit of the Soybean Oil is how it seems to tenderize the texture of the fish.

my rating : 3 of 5

Voortman Bakery Sugar Free Cookies : Oatmeal

Voortman Bakery Sugar Free Cookies : Oatmeal

These Oatmeal Cookies, “Baked with real whole grain oats”, would be better if they were soft. Not that they aren’t good as is. I’d imagine crumbling them in a bowl, pouring in some milk and eating them like cereal would make them even tastier. What’s most remarkable is that they’re Sugar Free with maltitol serving as the sole sweetener.

my rating : 4 of 5

Eat Fresco Latin Style Braised Beef [ With Cilantro Lime Rice And Black Beans ]

Eat Fresco Latin Style Braised Beef [ With Cilantro Lime Rice And Black Beans ]

What separates Fresco from most other precooked store-bought lunches and dinners is that they’re made with “no preservatives” and “never frozen”. This Braised Beef meal, made With Cilantro Lime Rice And Black Beans, is like reheating your Latin aunt’s homecooked leftovers; a godsend for ramen noodlers like myself.

my rating : 4 of 5