audio review : Talk Back ( song ) … Gorilla Zoe ( featuring Roxy Reynolds )

The spotlight is on Roxy Reynolds. You knew she fucked and sucked, but you probably didn’t know she rapped. Her lyrics are far from impressive; she’s as simple-minded as Gorilla Zoe when it comes to composing bars; but the meretricious content of her verse, presented in that sexy voice, makes up for what she lacks in artistic creativity.

“Put your tongue on that bubble gum,” she commands, referring to her pussy, which I imagine is sweet and yummy. “You love my lady lumps?” My answer would be yes, but not as much as her pussy. That’s what the song is about. “I’ll make that pussy talk back,” the chorus goes, which makes sense because her pussy has lips. I’ve seen them.

my rating : 3 of 5

2009

audio review : Blame Game ( song ) … Kanye West ( featuring John Legend )

The most endearing part of this song comes near the end where a semi-funny Chris Rock engages in a dialogue with what is supposed to be Kanye West’s girlfriend. She sounds awkwardly copy-and-pasted, retarded or drugged out of her fucking mind, but it’s cute how she says what she says. Though neither voice should be panned to the left or the right because its supposed to be “Yeezy” listening from his mono phone speaker, the background piano music is as beautiful as the Dark Twisted album title suggests.

Lo-fi drums come and go, but that music, which is at times highlighted by what sounds like a violin, is looped from start to end. That’s a winning move, along with the chorus. The “for sure” part sounds out of place, but it’s a nice chorus, especially when Kanye West replaces John Legend and adds his own melodic touch. If nothing else, that part supports my point that it’s nice vocal melodies, not nice voices, that matter most when it comes to the quality of a song. As far as intimacy goes, John Legend distracts.

There should be an unknown voice as the “local dude” West’s chick cheats on him with instead of Chris Rock. It’s certainly conceivable that a pretty “bitch” who’s leeched onto the dick (heart) of one wealthy celebrity would leech onto the heart (dick) of another, but it’s not supposed to be that way. He’s supposed to be a “neighborhood nigga” who couldn’t afford to buy the watch he wanted. That artistic blunder throws the concept off a bit. Then again, Chris Rock is a professional actor, so I guess it’s okay.

my rating : 4 of 5

2010

audio review : My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy ( album ) ... Kanye West

audio review : Take Care ( song ) … Janet Jackson

Soft fingersnap snares are the metronome to an array of steamy chords, drippy keys and mellow bass. It’s horny mood music made for “quiet” times in the bedroom as a girl masturbates under candlelight.

With each thrust, she’s imagining her man who’s away at work for the night. “I’m in a sexy mood and only you can fill my needs,” she thinks to herself; “I’ll lay here and take care of it till you come home to me.”

my rating : 4 of 5

2006

audio review : 20 YO ( album ) ... Janet Jackson

audio review : 2 Bitches ( song ) … Too Short

A wild sex orgy isn’t out of the ordinary in the life of a pimp “nigga”; a fact Too Short throws in your face over a nasty Jazze Pha beat. This freaky tale centers around a threesome he initiates by taking a bisexual “bitch” to a strip club and asking which dancer she wants to fuck. She picks a chocolate one with a big booty and big tits. Long story Short, the girls end-up licking each other’s tits, navels, toes and assholes.

my rating : 3 of 5

2000