audio review : Fading Lights ( song ) … Genesis

This is the coda of We Can’t Dance. What a hell of a way to end an album. Conceptually it’s one of the most epic I’ve ever come across. Phil Collins sounds spectacular on the vocals. It’s the extended bridge, where the band breaks for what sounds like an impromptu jam session, the song would do better without.

It should’ve been limited or edited down to the final eight bars; the best part. As is, it takes up nearly half the song, which, as a result, times out at over ten minutes. Still Collins shines. “Days of life that seemed so unimportant,” an old man ponders, “they seem to matter and to count much later on.” Poignant stuff.

my rating : 4 of 5

1991

audio review : We Can't Dance ( album ) ... Genesis

video review : Pedro Munhoz versus Cody Garbrandt at UFC 235

video review : Pedro Munhoz versus Cody Garbrandt at UFC 235

“What a crazy decision,” Joe Rogan exclaims in response to Cody Garbrandt suddenly going from pro MMA fighter to sloppy street brawler near the end of Round 1, but what he probably wanted to say was “stupid”.

It was apparently an emotional (angry) reaction to an inadvertent headbutt that made Garbrandt go wild; trading punches hard and fast with little to no defense; which results in his third knockout loss in a row.

my rating : 3 of 5

2019

Dr Pepper : Strawberries And Cream [ Zero Sugar ]

Dr Pepper : Strawberries And Cream [ Zero Sugar ]

The phrase Strawberries And Cream brings to mind hearty bowls of oatmeal with a little milk poured atop. This Dr Pepper version is sweeter; it’s aspartame that takes the place of Sugar; but the aforementioned flavor is barely detectable. Not that its taste, if you’re not too bothered by the sting of carbonation, isn’t mildly pleasant.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : The Resurrection ( album ) … Geto Boys

audio review : The Resurrection ( album ) ... Geto Boys

They were never really dead, not even in a metaphoric sense, so this is only a Resurrection in that the Geto Boys are back to what they once were; Scarface, Bushwick Bill and Willie D; the latter of which “left the group in 91”. There’s a verse here that insists the split was the result of real-life beef, but “we settled our differences”, so he’s back and still yelling, though not as loud as he used to. Big Mike, who replaced him for the last album, is missing in action.

With things back in place, you’d expect, or at least hope for, a fitting follow-up to We Can’t Be Stopped; their best album; but, though it’s only been five years, times have changed. The beats are more airy and vivacious; less hip-hop, more sinister mob music. It seems the Boys have also matured into grown men, so it’s mostly serious business with social and political commentary between murders; less time for funny disses, careless sex and Chuckie dolls.

That makes for a less interesting album; a dark undertaking with a conceptual fixation with death. At one point Bushwick Bill even kills himself after declaring to passenger Willie D that he Just Wanna Die. D dares him to shoot himself in the head while driving, which he does. You can hear the tires screech as the ride swerves off the road and crashes into something hard. The decision for him not to be heard again for the rest of the album was a clever one.

That bit is followed by a Willie D solo song comparing Niggas And Flies, but, while he’s Still the most entertaining (funniest) member of the group, we’ve heard better from both rappers. The best songs are actually Blind Leading The Blind, led by the Menace Clan, and Point Of No Return. The album would also do better without an on-going prison phone call from an annoyingly race-obsessed Larry Hoover to Rap-A-Lot founder and CEO J Prince.

my rating : 3 of 5

1996

Epic Venison Strip

Epic Venison Strip

The main ingredient of this jerky is Venison; “100% grass-fed”, whatever that’s worth; but it’s “grounded and formed” with beef, so the name is a bit of a misnomer. It’s seasoned with sea salt, black pepper, onion powder and garlic powder; none of which seem to help matters in the way of taste. A little sugar would be nice. As is, the Strip, quite literally, leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

my rating : 2 of 5

Frosted Flakes

Frosted Flakes

“They’re great,” Tony The Tiger says with a growl. It’s one of the few product slogans I actually agree with. Eating a bowl of Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes in cold milk is one of the sweetest experiences the cereal world has to offer.

If there’s a flaw, it’s that the flakes, which taste better crunchy, start to get soggy after coming in contact with the milk. The fix is to pour a small bowl, add milk, eat fast and repeat until your stomach and taste buds are at odds.

my rating : 5 of 5

Beach Cliff Sardines [ In Water ]

Beach Cliff Sardines [ In Water ]

These Sardines, depending on when and where you get them, are actually sprats. That’s fine with me; I prefer sprats because they’re smaller and thus easier to eat; but, while the two fish are nearly indistinguishable, it’s a blatant form of false advertising.

Still you’ll have a hard time finding a healthier food as sardines; these are “wild caught”, from places like Poland, for whatever that’s worth; are packed with Omega-3 fatty acids and other nutrients. “Savory”? Sure. Tasty? Not really. They’re best served as a side dish.

my rating : 3 of 5

Little Caesars Pizza : Classic Italian Sausage

Little Caesars Pizza : Classic Italian Sausage

I wouldn’t call this Pizza a Classic in the aesthetic sense. It’s good stuff, but it isn’t up there with Pepperoni; rather an occasional alternative when you have a taste for something different. It actually reminds me of a surrealistic version of the pizza they used to serve at lunch when I was in elementary school.

my rating : 4 of 5

Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars : Oats And Honey

Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars : Oats And Honey

I like the taste of these Granola Bars. Oats And Honey go well together. It’s the texture I have an issue with. They’re Crunchy as advertised, which is fine, but they’re also dry and messy. You’d be best off eating them outside, perhaps on a hiking trip where the ants will appreciate all the falling crumbs, with a bottle of water in hand.

my rating : 4 of 5

video review : Missing 411 : The UFO Connection

video review : Missing 411 [ The UFO Connection ]

The bombastic prelude is a bit much, but thankfully things settle down from there. The most interesting parts of this documentary; the third in David Paulides’ Missing 411 series; are when people simply tell their stories, which now have a UFO Connection.

Paulides seems to imply (believe) what they’re saying is true, but I’m more of a skeptic. The Carl Higdon Incident; in which a hunter claims to have been abducted, fed and damn-near befriended by a talking alien named Ozo; is particularly questionable.

my rating : 4 of 5

2022

Little Debbie Unicorn Cakes Ice Cream

Little Debbie Unicorn Cakes Ice Cream

Little Debbie’s Unicorn Cakes look, appropriately enough, like something a little girl would create. Whether this Ice Cream version; a collaboration with Hudsonville; is more or less fantastical is a matter of opinion, but I certainly prefer it. It’s a sweet treat with emphasis on the word “sweet”. The ingredients list includes regular sugar, powdered sugar, corn syrup and purple sprinkles.

my rating : 4 of 5