The bag describes this Popcorn as “deliciously Popped” and “perfectly seasoned”, but neither are true. If the adverbs were switched around, it might be perfectly Popped; you won’t find any leftover kernels; but you can barely taste the White Cheddar. It tastes almost like regular salted Popcorn, which is just okay.
my rating : 3 of 5
There are particles of beauty to be found here, where the music suddenly makes a drastic change for the better, but they never last long enough. The BASS chorus, for example, is exhilarating; Conquer The World and Revolution also have interesting highlights; but like a UFO in the distance, those moments are fleeting. The album is mostly banal techno/Hip-Hop-inspired beats with corny vocal samples.
my rating : 3 of 5
1993
This Prime Energy Drink is “naturally flavored” with Orange Mango, though juice from neither fruit can be found on the ingredients list, and that overall taste is the best part. The fizz of carbonation is the worst. The caffeine count is 200 milligrams and there are 300 milligrams of electrolytes.
my rating : 3 of 5
Strawberries and Watermelons are among the best-tasting fruits. A beverage based on a blend of the two should be a pleasure to consume. A sip of this Prime suggests that would be the case if not for the fizz; an inherent flaw of carbonated Energy Drinks.
my rating : 3 of 5
This album isn’t as entertaining as the title and cover image suggest. Taylor Swift has the looks; I’d purchase a ticket to see her dance around a stage half-naked; but she lacks the musical talent to justify her nearly unparalleled superstardom. Her voice sounds fine; it’s the humdrum melodies it carries that nearly ruin the Show.
“Boring Barbie” is a fitting insult, but these cringey lyrics; she namedrops “50 Cent” on Ruin The Friendship and brags about her big “dick”, in a phonetically awkward way, on Father Figure; don’t help matters. For someone more rich and famous than Elizabeth Taylor ever was, Swift’s Life, as presented, is rather lackluster.
my rating : 3 of 5
2025
This is “pesticide-free” lettuce “grown in a clean greenhouse” and stored with “long-lasting freshness”. That helps make it one of the healthiest food products you, or your pet rabbit, can eat. Romaine is also one of the tastier vegetables, which isn’t saying much since vegetables are generally yucky.
my rating : 3 of 5
“The DIVA” is back for what it’s worth. The first song, on which she brags about her “Harry Winston diamonds” and “Hermès bathrobe”, implies a lot of money. Her legendary status as a songstress; very few have more successful careers; suggests its well-earned. The aesthetic quality of her music is, of course, another story.
In that regard, Mariah Carey has been middling for decades. Type Dangerous is fun. Confetti And Champagne has a tasteful (Tinashe-like) chorus going for it. The title song; the lyrics of which seem to go from romance to gospel, which is quite odd; sounds good before the coda. Most of the others are unsurprisingly mediocre.
my rating : 3 of 5
2025
Drinking Tropical Punch should be a breezy delight. What dampers the experience in the case of this and most Energy Drinks is the carbonation. It’s not too strong in the sense of causing pain, but the heavy fizz is a major distraction. The caffeine count is 200 milligrams.
my rating : 3 of 5
Posthumous releases are generally a bad idea, but this album was apparently almost finished when Chino XL died. He killed himself, which makes one wonder if his Darkness is meant as a sort of suicide note. There are certainly enough references to suggest so.
XL, like Canibus during his 2000 peak, is best when he’s rapping because he’s one of “the greatest lyricists of all time”. Things only falter during the breaks. On Lumps Of Silver, for example, he makes the mistake of singing in the same melody as the guitar riff.
Or was that bit added after his death? That’s always a question with these posthumous releases, but there are some savers nevertheless. They include Words In The Color, which conjures Biggie’s Suicidal Thoughts, Sermon In Crimson and Blue Obsidian.
my rating : 3 of 5
2024
This “may be the best tasting Ultra yet!” according to the can, but that’s not much of a promotion. Carbonated Energy drinks are inherently flawed and this Monster is no exception. It does have a relatively pleasant “citrus taste”; it’s based on the Ruby Red grapefruit; but the bubbly sting, however mild, takes you out of the Fantasy.
my rating : 3 of 5
What A Nightmare On Elm Street has to do with beverages may be initially confusing, but consuming an Energy Drink to stay awake does make for a clever connection. Too bad the name seems to negate that fact by putting the emphasis on the Dream Demon Freddy Krueger himself. Don’t Sleep would’ve been better. The indistinct flavor is described as “tart fruit punch”.
my rating : 3 of 5
This is apparently a sequel to Man Down; the album Ice Cube put out less than a year ago. It’s about on par, but these beats; easily the best parts of the set; bang even more consistently, at least before it takes a clumsy turn near the end. Highlights this time around include Guess What, Ratchet Ass Mouth and a grumpy old Scarface on Act My Age.
my rating : 3 of 5
2025