3D Energy Drink : Frost

3D Energy Drink : Frost

The name of this 3D Energy Drink doesn’t make sense given its flavor. Frost means cold enough to form ice crystals, but it has a strong; the promo describes it as “light”; hint of citrus, the fruits of which would quickly go bad under such conditions. “Citrus Frost” would at least acknowledge the discrepancy.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : Life Is Beautiful ( album ) … Larry June + 2 Chainz

audio review : Life Is Beautiful ( album ) ... Larry June + 2 Chainz

What’s Beautiful, or at least quite nice, is “Alchemist’s production”. Larry June and 2 Chainz’s laid-back monotonous raps; they may as well be relaxing in the sun; sound decent enough over it. The lazy hooks, speaking of Bad Choices, are what rock the boat. Potential gems get flawed at the breaks. The best songs include I Been, Munyon Canyon, Jean Prouvé and the blazed-up title cut.

my rating : 3 of 5

2025

365 Crunchy Peanut Butter

365 Crunchy Peanut Butter

You’d have a hard time finding a healthier Peanut Butter. This Whole Foods product is healthy in the sense that there is no sugar or unnecessary ingredients. The only listed here are “dry roasted peanuts” and salt. What helps the taste, aside from the Crunchy bits, is its oily consistency. It’s more like a spread.

my rating : 3 of 5

video review : Smile 2

video review : Smile 2

This should’ve been a stand-alone biopic of sorts about a successful pop singer; Skye Riley may as well be Lady Gaga; dealing with drug-induced psychosis. That would at least explain, if not excuse, all her scary hallucinations, which aren’t scary when they’re basically presented as such. Smile 2 is a lot more fun than the abysmal original. It’s the horror theme; the “supernatural bullshit”; that nearly ruins the show.

my rating : 3 of 5

2024

Monster Energy : Ultra Rosá

Monster Energy : Ultra Rosá

“Roses are red, grapefruit is pink,” the can reads, “Ultra Rosá is not what you think.” I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, but the flavor is described as “light and easy” with “a floral finish.” Silly metaphors aside, it is one of the more pleasant-tasting Monster Energy drinks.

my rating : 3 of 5

audio review : The Ruler’s Back ( album ) … Slick Rick

audio review : The Ruler's Back ( album ) ... Slick Rick

The Ruler’s Back, but is he really? This Slick Rick album, produced entirely by Vance Wright with the exception of an incongruous club coda by Mr Lee, is mostly underwhelming. The constant scratch samples, on every song, give the set a monotonous tone. The highlights; all stories about dating girls; include Runaway, Venus and Mistakes Of A Woman In Love With Other Men.

my rating : 3 of 5

1991

audio review : Missionary ( album ) … Snoop Dogg

audio review : Missionary ( album ) ... Snoop Dogg

This is the sequel to Doggystyle; Snoop Dogg’s first and best album. If the titles seem out of order; it’s more appropriate to start with the standard Missionary position before hitting it from the back; perhaps it’s a fitting metaphor. It’s 30 years later, the rapper reminds us; it’s actually 31, so the album comes a year late; and he’s not the pup he used to be. Ain’t No Fun these days without a tab of Viagra. At one point, he’s complaining about his cataracts.

Not that anyone can see thru the clouds of weed and gun Smoke; the latter of which inspires a song with 50 Cent and Eminem; the latter of which once made an inferior sequel of his own. Part of the problem with The Marshall Mathers LP 2 was the absence of Dr Dre. Snoop avoids that mistake by inviting the legendary beatmaker to produce every song here, though the abundance of co-producers suggests he’s become more of a musical figurehead.

Those beats are the best thing here, but that’s not saying much. Long gone are the banger basslines of the G-funk era. The production here is polished and contemporary; routine sex with your wife while longing for those “bitches in the living room getting it on”. The biggest turnoff though is the breaks, where the music too often changes for the worse in order to accommodate a limp chorus. Minor highlights include Pressure and The Negotiator.

my rating : 3 of 5

2024

video review : Ming Shi versus Xiaocan Feng at UFC Fight Night

video review : Ming Shi versus Xiaocan Feng at UFC Fight Night

Xiaocan Feng is prettier, but the most beautiful moment of this Road To UFC finale comes at the end when Ming Shi; Doctor Sleep; lands a “massive” head kick à la Valentina Shevchenko versus Jessica Eye. It knocks her opponent out cold to the point where Feng is carried out of the Octagon to the hospital on a stretcher. Brutal.

my rating : 3 of 5

2024

audio review : Man Down ( album ) … Ice Cube

audio review : Man Down ( album ) ... Ice Cube

The title could just as well refer to Ice Cube himself. What made the rapper standout in the late 1980s and early 1990s was his brute insolence and racial/political indignations. This album includes hints of both, but the richer calmer Man he’s long since matured into just isn’t as interesting.

The best songs include the J-Dee reunion; Facts about Dee’s 20-something-year prison stint; and 3 Lil Piggies. Rollin At Twilight, at the beginning where it is, with its odd vocal breaks, comes across as a tacked-on demo. Cube should’ve omitted it to start and end the set with Ego trips.

my rating : 3 of 5

2024

audio review : Gratitude ( album ) … Mary J Blige

audio review : Gratitude ( album ) ... Mary J Blige

It’s awkward to begin your album with a guest verse. It’s also off-putting to start it with trite samples and interpolations. Luckily for Mary J Blige, rather the longtime fans she apparently dedicated this album to in a show of Gratitude, things get more original and less irksome (better) from there. Groovy highlights include Beautiful People, Can’t Wait For You and Don’t Fuck Up.

my rating : 3 of 5

2024

Bang : Peach Mango

Bang : Peach Mango

“When life puts you to the test, don’t settle for second best”, the can reads, “Grab a Bang Energy and fuel your destiny!” This one does taste like Peaches and Mangos; a semitropical fruit blend that results in a mildly pleasant flavor. It’s the carbonation that dampers the experience.

my rating : 3 of 5

Fast Twitch : Strawberry Watermelon

Fast Twitch : Strawberry Watermelon

This Fast Twitch, “from the makers of Gatorade”, tastes like Kool-Aid with too much water in it… or not enough sugar. That’s appropriate enough considering there’s “zero sugar”; a health boast nearly rescinded with the addition of its sucralose substitute. It’s an energy drink made for sports athletes.

my rating : 3 of 5