Tag: eats

Barnum’s Animals

Barnum's Animals

I’m against caving in to PC pressure, which is part of the reason Barnum And Bailey stopped doing circus shows; activists protested because animals were allegedly mistreated; but the “new look” on the box makes sense. The illustrated animals have been in cages since these Crackers were first introduced to the world. Now, after well over a hundred years, they’re free.

It’s a slick metaphor to mark the end of Barnum’s circus, but they’re not really crackers. They’re cookies; shortbread cookies; just like the ones from McDonaldland with a taste that’s nearly indistinguishable. It’s a sweet buttery vanilla-like if not fortune-cookie-like blend that, when eaten with vanilla ice cream or a cup of milk, tastes even better than most animal meat.

my rating : 4 of 5

Cheerios Oat Crunch : Cinnamon

Cheerios Oat Crunch : Cinnamon

This looks like Oh’s. It’s just messier; the oats, presented as granola, don’t stay inside of the “o”s; and less flavorful. If General Mills and Quaker could blend the two cereals; the taste and form of that with the texture and bite of this; they’d be on to something special.

my rating : 4 of 5

Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes

Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes

At first glance, you would think this is a blend of Lucky Charms and Frosted Flakes; the latter of which I consider one of the best cereals ever. It isn’t until you pour a bowl and look that you realize there’s something wrong.

The problem isn’t the missing toasted oats from Lucky Charms; they’re nasty anyway; it’s that these aren’t Frosted Flakes. They’re a cheap off-brand-like imitation. That’s why you don’t see Tony The Tiger on the box.

General Mills doesn’t even make Frosted Flakes. Kellogg does. The name apparently isn’t trademarked. I feel hoodwinked. Not that the two cereals would go well together. Not every cereal tastes better with marshmallows.

my rating : 3 of 5

Mountain Dew : Sweet Lightning

Mountain Dew : Sweet Lightning

I understand the Sweet part. It’s the Lightning that’s confusing. This isn’t promoted as an energy drink and the taste, which has a peachy citrus vibe, isn’t particularly jolting, but I imagine a cold cup would be nice and refreshing on a lazy summer day.

You’re not supposed to drink it by itself. Sweet Lightning, a version of Mountain Dew, is apparently made for the sole purpose of drinking it while you eat a Breast, Drumstick or Thigh from Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is the only place to get it.

my rating : 3 of 5