Category: general

question : Would you rather have gay sex with an adult or straight sex with a child?

Aside from the fact that I’m not sexually attracted to children in general; that’s “in general” because there’s no clear line between childhood and adulthood; having sex with a child; that is a child who’s not close to adulthood; is something I’d be morally against. That’s more and more the case as the hypothetical girl gets younger and younger. In other words, I’d be doing something I feel is, on some level, morally wrong, if only for the psychological damage it could cause to someone who probably isn’t yet mentally mature enough to consent.

Sex with a man, on the other hand, is something I’d have no moral problem with. In other words, I wouldn’t consider it morally wrong, but I would consider it highly repulsive, so the question for me; a heterosexual man who’s not a pedophile; compares having gay sex with a man, which is highly repulsive, to straight sex with a child, which is morally wrong and something I lack interest in. Balancing the two, while assuming the theoretical context of the question would prevent me from facing prison time, I’d rather have straight sex with a child.

a dream I had about trying to interview Hulk Hogan for the site

I saw Hulk Hogan, of all people, just outside my grandmother’s old house, in the space her neighbor’s old house still stands to this day. It wasn’t there in the dream though. It was just an empty lot; a jungle-like area with lots of trees and plants; as if the house had been torn down and cleared away a long time ago. The Hulkster was sitting at a table or a booth with some kind of promoter guy, apparently to promote his new movie. There may have even been ads for it posted around the area and memorabilia right there ready to sell or give away.

I didn’t have my main video camera on me, but I had my new Fifth Generation “iPod” Touch, which has a “1080p” video camera built into it. So, once I walked by and realized I was actually looking at the real Hulk Hogan, with just a promoter guy and maybe a few people standing around him; no apparent bodyguards or fans to get in my way; I sprung into action. Getting a celebrity video for my site is a major thing, so I went over to him and, just in case he wasn’t in the mood for video, started-off by asking him if I could take a picture with him.

I told him that I was a big fan of his, that he and Michael Jackson were like my idols, which was a lie. The Michael Jackson part is true, but I never particularly liked or cared about Hulk Hogan. Not that I ever disliked him or anything. I just never really had negative or positive feelings about him one way or the other. I remember wanting to see his No Holds Barred movie as a kid, back when I was a WWF fan and follower, but that’s about it. I thought buttering him up with fake praise was the best way to get a picture with him, so I did.

It seemed to work. I could see him smiling behind the shades that covered not only his eyes but a lot of his face. He said yes, that I could take a picture with him, so I acted excited, which I was, but mainly because I’d have a photo with a big celebrity for my site. As I fumbled around with the iPod Touch, either Hulk Hogan or the promoter guy suggested we do a “picture-in-picture”, which, at-least in the dream, meant that we’d (somehow) both have the photo on our iPod or iPhone. Hulk Hogan had one too.

I didn’t like that idea because I was concerned about how I’d look in the photo. If I didn’t like the way I looked and it was just on my camera, I could simply not put it on the site or perhaps just cut me out of it. But if it was on his camera too, a lot people might see it either way. That was my logic in the dream. It would’ve been a concern in real life, but not a major one. Me having the photo on my camera would’ve outweighed any concerns about him having it on his. But in the dream, it was a major concern.

So I fumbled around with my camera, purposely now, pretending I didn’t know how to get to “picture-in-picture”. After several awkward seconds, I asked if I could interview him on video instead, which is what I really wanted to do in the first place. He said okay, so I rushed to the video part, which seemed much more complicated in the dream than it would be in real life. The Fifth Generation iPod hasn’t even been released yet. But I plan to buy one as soon as it is.

By the time I got the video recording and the camera pointed at his face, which only took a few (more) seconds, his whole demeanor had sort of changed. Perhaps he was putting on a character act for the camera; I consider that possibility only in retrospect; but he was no longer smiling. So I didn’t waste any (more) time. I threw-out my first interview question. I can’t remember what it was, but it was basic question, which I thought was a good way to start. He didn’t answer it. He just looked at me. All of a sudden, he had a bad attitude.

I think I revised it for him, but he still wouldn’t answer. He wasn’t silent though. He grumbled and complained about it not being a good question. So I think I asked another one; a different one; to which he responded in the same way. He said somthing about my questions not being relevant, that he was there to promote his movie. When I heard the word “movie”, I jumped on it. “Okay, the movie, yeah, whatever,” I might’ve phrased it, which meant that whatever subject he wanted to talk about was fine with me.

I asked him a question about the movie and I can’t remember exactly what he said, but it obvious that the interview had fallen apart. He didn’t answer my question and may have even chastised me to the promoter guy. All I know is that I continued to record him as I backed off. What was happening; conflict as the result of Hulk Hogan being a jerk; was probably more interesting than a proper interview would’ve been anyway. Once I got about twenty or thirty feet away from him; I might’ve even counted aloud for comedic effect; I started talking shit back to him.

“Fuck you, Hulk Hogan,” I think I yelled, “Fuck you, your wife and your kids!” I just started throwing insults at him, about being old or whatever else I could think of, as he yelled back at me, probably threatening to beat my ass if I came back over to him. I wasn’t going to do that though, not even for the site. Though I was yelling at him in a jokey sort of way; it was obvious I wasn’t really angry; he seemed to be genuinely pissed-off, if only a little.

It wasn’t until I’d gotten all the way over to the front of my old house, which stood on the opposite side of my grandmother’s house, that the promoter guy and a few of his people caught-up with me. They were smiling and laughing. He started praising me for what just happened. He might’ve said it was “awesome” before agreeing with me about Hulk Hogan being an “asshole”. The Hulkster was no longer in view, so, even though the camera was still recording, he started freely insulting him. The whole thing was funny.

2012 September 26

a dream I had about a girl and her sister

I sprung a crush on this girl when I first laid eyes on her. It was mainly physical; she was a cute brown African-American with puffy ridges underneath her eyes as if she hadn’t slept in a long time. Actualy meeting and conversating with her made me fall for her friendly personality too. But it was still mainly a physical, romantic, sexual thing.

I don’t think I knew she had a sister at the time, but when I met her sister; a taller, probably slightly older version of herself; I’m guessing they shared the same mother and father because they looked so much alike, right down to the sleepless eye ridges; a day or few later, I sort of developed a crush on her too. She was only slightly less attractive.

Randy must’ve told her I liked her sister, or maybe her sister told her she liked me; there was obvious chemistry between us; because she accentuated it during our conversation. There was a big social event; a weekend series of concerts and parties; coming in upper Michigan. They were all planning to vacate there. She asked if I was going too.

I said yeah. I wasn’t as excited about going. I generally try to avoid loud noises. But I figured it would be a fun experience; one that would give me more one-on-one time with her sister. She, playing the role of unresentful match-maker, apparently had the same idea. As she walked away, she made a joke about me and her sister having sex at the hotel.

2012 September 20

a dream I had about being featured on a “reality” TV show with Jack Osbourne

I guess The Osbournes was still on TV. Either that or Jack and Kelly were featured on a new “reality” show. In either case, there I was; you couldn’t see me, but you could hear my voice; on the phone with Jack as he walked thru the mansion he lived in, telling me how fat and greedy his sister was.

He said her and her friend were selling, or trying to sell, big slices of pizza one day, presumably homemade pizza. When nobody bought them, he said, they sat down and ate the whole pie themselves. I didn’t know if the story was true or not, but it was funny and I was happy to be on the show.

2012 September 03

my Joy Of Jesus camping experience

I was 12 years old. It wasn’t my choice to go. My mother just wanted to get me out of the house. I remember being given the choice of going to a Christian camp or a regular one. I chose the Christian one because I figured it would be easier to get thru. It’s not that I resented having to go. It’s just that I was generally a loner who’d rather be at home than out meeting other kids, especially other boys. I figured I’d give it a try though without putting up a fight. Besides, it was only going to take about a week or two from my summer.

I guess all campers had to take a TB test beforehand as I remember sitting on a gurney and coughing with some creepy doctor’s hand on my stomach, but I never thought the trip would trigger the first case of asthma I ever remember having. Actually, I didn’t know what it was. I just knew that, shortly after arriving, it became harder to breathe. It was a concern, but I knew I could’ve sought medical attention if needed, so I decided to tough it out while taking a considerable amount of effort to do something I’ve always been able to do with ease.

I saw Byrant; I’m almost sure that was his name; a boy I’d met in middle school not long before. We used to talk about movies and stuff in Mister Ellis’ art class. Bryant looked like the Tin Man from the Wiz movie, but he was always cool with me and it was a relief to see him there in camp. Though we were in different groups; our groups were separated by age and he was put in the one just below mine; and only saw each other when the groups got together at the main site for church service, meals and such, he was a friend among strangers.

The stay put me off of Lucky Charms for a while. It seems that’s all we ate. I remember seeing huge plastic bags full of it being dragged in by the staff. The two camp counselors and leaders of my group were a guy definitely named Smokey and a guy I think may have been called Tank. We all had nicknames. If we didn’t, we were given one by the group. I was supposed to be Al Bundy. It never really stuck, though I did have a chance to play into it eventually by saying “Let’s rock” to a campmate before a ball game, which was hilarious.

Smokey was the loud crazy type, always making jokes and having fun, while “Tank” was more quiet and subdued. I don’t even remember if he was there when Smokey started waking us up during what seemed like the middle of the night for some obnoxious fraternity play. He’d wake us, or see if we were really asleep, by shining a flashlight in our eyes and making us go in the bathroom or something. It was all in fun; he was a great counselor in that regard; but I was in no mood for games, so when he came to me, I pretended like I really was asleep.

It was antisocial behavior like that, along with staying on the sidelines while most of the others played basketball and such, that brought criticism my way when I was the first to win the coveted Camper Of The Day or Camper Of The Week honor. Some of the kids complained about it and they had a valid point, but they were probably just upset because they didn’t win. They said the next winner; the boy who cried because it was his first time being away from home for so long; only won because the counselors felt bad for him.

Despite a little criticism and a courtside altercation between a tall skinny black boy and one of the “ugly” brothers, we all basically got along; no fights; that is, until the very last day. It was morning and we were about to leave for home when the counselors, mainly Smokey, instigated a physical encounter between Bear; the biggest kid in our group; and a boy from the group cabined across from us. It wasn’t supposed to be a real fight, more like a wrestling match or something to see who was stronger and tougher.

Smokey rooted for Bear while the counselors from the other group rooted for their guy, but their guy let it go to his head. I remember him getting up in Bear’s face and pushing him or something like that. Bear obviously didn’t want to fight, which caused the boy to assault him more. That’s when Smokey flipped out. Smokey; a full-grown adult, at least to us; attacked the kid; a teen who himself looked and acted like a young adult. He might’ve even been the same dude who got into it with the “ugly” brother a few days before.

Smokey jumped on him, not playing around but seriously angry, and took him down to the ground. I remember all the commotion; “Tank” and the other counselors trying to break it up; as Smokey and the boy rolled around in a violent struggle. I, like other kids in our group, felt sorry for Bear and appreciated our Smokey defending him so vehemently. He was very much out of line though for attacking the boy, who appeared to be as startled as the rest of us, especially considering the fact that he (Smokey) was the main instigator.

It was the most exciting part of the stay, but, by then, I think it’s safe to say we were all ready to go home. The testosterone-driven madness, which at one point brought up talks of seminude ice-water swimming like the Polar Bear Club; an environment marked by daily Army drills with Jesus praise tossed in for good measure; had grown tiresome. One of the first things I did when I got home was sit down to a bowl of anything but Lucky Charms. One of the next was to have my mother take me back to the doctor for an asthma inhaler.

a technical analysis of my Love Crush song

The effect on the bass isn’t a preset filter. It’s the sound of actual distortion. I had the gain (volume) up too loud, perhaps by mistake, liked what I heard and decided to keep it like that. It sounds like a real bass guitar.

The melody of the orgel; the music box sound; doesn’t really match the bass. I think it’s generally lame to stack melodies like that, so, while they’re mostly synced, if you listen closely, you can hear a subtle difference.

The song takes place in the daytime, when “the sky is blue”, so I didn’t want to add any fancy high hats or ticks. I started with lo-fi drums, but the sound needed more clarity. The crisp distorted drum effect worked perfectly.

As for the vocals, Les wasn’t supposed to be on it. Me and Randy had wanted to feature him on a song for a while and he just happened to drop by the day Randy was set to do his verse, so we took advantage of the opportunity.

play the audio